Extreme Sports - Experiences to remember

I'm an extreme sport freak and the very thought of such outdoor activities gives me adrenalin rush. I'm attempting to narrate few extreme sport experiences I had. Incidentally all my attempts in such outdoor activities started after I got married and my wife accompanied me in almost every sport :)

BTW, the below mentioned outdoor activities generically fall under extreme sports category in contrast with other sports, but none of these are as extreme as the name suggests :D

Rock Climbing:

My tryst with some kind of extreme sports was rock climbing (though not exactly as extreme). It was at Runway 9 where I shed my inhibitions to try this. It was a very exciting experience thanks to my confidence in the guy who wrapped all ropes and buckles around me. This was the only sport available near Hyderabad then apart from Go Karting (also at Runway 9).

River Crossing:

A real extreme sport. After wedding, we went to Manali (yes, as a part of honeymoon). Beas river originates near Manali and is one of the roughest rivers in India. The rocky terrain, huge rapids, deafening sound intimidates anybody. For a non-swimmer like me, crossing that river holding a rope was definitely an adventure. When I crossed half the river, the trainer guy lowered the rope and my feet touched the flowing river water which was dangerously cold (quite understandably - the temperature was -3 celsius and the water came from Himalayas). This was my first adventure sport in true terms.

Skiing:

Rohtang Pass is a mountain pass near Manali famous for blizzards and avalanches. We went there to enjoy the scenic beauty but couldn't resist wearing the ski gear and blades. That's incidentally the first time, I saw and touched snow. Skiing looks so easy in movies, but the technique to apply brakes to those thin, long blades on slippery snow was definitely not a child play. We tried for 2 hours before we could ski for 200 ms.

Second attempt of skiing was during last winter when our cousin traveled from NYC. That's at Blue Mountains, 2 hours from Toronto . We chose the beginners area to ski. The shoes given to us were heavier than us and walking with those on made us feel like astronauts :)

Once we were ready with skiing blades, we were taken uphill by the movator and we were supposed to ski downwards. All three of us (Hema, Karthik and myself) were ready to ski and I just thought to have a small drill before going for a long ski and hence started skiing and to my utter surprise and shock, the steep mountain took my downwards with unbelievable speed. I skied faster than a vehicle and when i tried to apply the brake by moving my ski blades in an angle, that didn't seem to work; my speed accelerated and I was sure an accident was in store. If I continued further, I would've definitely run into other people (including children) and injure them as well. So I prepared myself for the worst and jumped off the blades to start rolling on the steep mountain of snow.

I had my blades fixed to my feet, but I stumbled and rolled over the snow for almost 300 ms. Luckily nobody came in my way and I didn't hurt myself too. After I stood on my feet, the best scene to see my wife and cousin too struggling very hard to control their blades, hahahaha. Later I learnt the trick and then helped the other two as well. An hour of skiing later on the ground level was fun though. That was an excellent memory :)

Paragliding:

At Solang Valley near foothills of Himalayas, near Manali. First of a kind experience flying in open air with a parachute was breathtaking. The launch was all comfortable, but tension started only when I was about to land because I didn't know whether to run as soon as I land (just like getting down from a running bus) or stand still. I landed under that confusion and suffered a minute bruise. That was a memory to reckon with :)

Motorboating:

Not an extreme sport, per se. My sister and brother-in-law arrived from US for the first time after marriage and we decided to go for a one day picnic. All of us were saturated with Niagara and hence planned to go to Thousand Islands, a water sport area 3 hours away from Toronto.

We wanted to have some adventure and so rented a motor boat to drive on St.Lawrence river. The river is one of the longest, widest and fast flowing rivers which we didn't know earlier. The boat owner gave us a 5 min orientation explaining all controls and gave us the key. Only after we started did we realize that the river is too big and wide (double the width of Godavari at Bhadrchalam - Papikondalu area).

All four of us took turns to steer the driving wheel and all was well until jetskis around drove fast enough to create turbulence in the waters. Remember, my sister and I can't swim and incidentally my wife raised the gas, turned the steering frantically and that\s when I prepared myself for the worst to happen. Later we parked the boat at one of the islands (among 1000 islands), spent some time on the island, and drove back to destination unharmed. 4 hour motor-boating on the river was very exciting, scary and memorable.

Canoeing:

Canoeing is something which looks pretty normal, but the first experience was tiring and confusing. My friend and I started rowing from opposite ends of the canoe and we took a cool 30 mins to crack the technique before we set off the odyssey on french river, Ontario. Trouble began when somebody told us that there was a waterfall nearby which could be our final destination if we didn't row it to the shore properly. One hour of canoeing then was more than watching 10 horror and gory movies.

But later when we tried it at Southampton beach, that was pretty cool. I became a pro by then :)

Kayaking:

Fairly simple, but equally dangerous because one of our friends who came with us for camping capsized the kayak, abandoned it and swam safely to the shore. But what should I do (I can't swim) was the question I had on my mind for that 30 mins when I kayaked alone on Lake Huron.

Rafting:

Rafting on grand river with cousins Preetham and Saroja was rather cool, secure and enjoyable experience. We never came across any kind of dangerous or adventurous situation except that it was physically exhausting.

Gliding:

Again with Preetham and Saroja near African Safari, Hamilton, Canada. We were made to sit along with a pilot in a gliding plane which was towed by another plane with a rope. Once we were in the sky, the towing plane withdrew the rope leaving the glider plane to fly for some time before landing safely. It was not a very adventurous trip, but sitting on a front seat and flying in a glider plane was a good experience.

Tubing:

One of the most dangerous and on the edge experience I ever had. We went to Elora gorge where grand river flows. Tubing was a very enjoyable sport as recommended by many. Its all about floating on a tube (something like a tube in truck tyre). We were given life jackets and tubes and were directed to reach the river. To my surprise there was nobody at the river to push, help, guide, instruct, protect or teach. We were left to our destiny. When we reached the river, there were some 15 people, waiting to see if anybody tubes but nobody even remotely attempting to do it themselves.

My wife and I took the tubes to shores, sat in the tubes but didn't know how to kick-off. Before I could realize what was happening, my wife pushed my tube into the flowing waters. Taken aback I started flowing along the river and in some distance saw rapids and a slope. I held my breath, left my life to the mercy of life jacket and was prepared to fell off the tube for sure. But I saved myself by holding the tube tightly. There were 3 such rapids which I survived before getting down in shallow waters very far away.

That was enough for me and hence started walking back along the shore with the tube in my hand when suddenly a small girl was screaming for help. She fell off her tube and was flowing along with rough waters. I raised the hero in me and gave her a helping hand and was about to pull her. But destiny planned something else for me :)

The rough water pulled me and we both started flowing in the river. I had a life jacket and hence was floating but the river was fast enough to push me even before I could control or hold something. After this drama of rolling and flowing in the river, some good samaritan saved me and that gal :D.

I saw my wife tubing slowly after somebody else pushed her to give her the necessary kick-off. I don't think I will tube again :D

Canopy Walk:

We celebrated our second wedding anniversary at a forest resort called Haliburton Wildlife Reserve, a dense forest and an abode for wolves and bears. The adventure was to walk on a canopy, a narrow (1 foot) hanging bridge built between tree-tops in the dense forest amidst flowing river. We were given a lot of gear to put around our waist and were made to walk on that canopy for half a kilometer. Breathtaking visuals, adrenalin rush made the experience worth our time.

Jetskiing:

This is one sport which took my breath away, which made me skip heartbeats. Jetski, a waterbike is easy to operate but the first and only time I did that was in pacific ocean where waves almost submerged me. Jetski works well only when we raise the speed to max levels. If we jetski in lower speeds, waves of water will oscillate the jetski and there is a danger of capsizing.

Being a non-swimmer I could not dare to accelerate the bike and hence pacific waves troubled me a lot (and I had my wife sitting behind me). At one point, I stopped the jetski in mid waters and the situation became even more dangerous. But if I raised speeds, I was sure I will fall down into the ocean. Under this predicament, I raised the gas and made sure the jetski didn't capsize or submerge.

Now I want to do this in some lake or river where waves are not so intimidating.

Parasailing:

Not different from paragliding, except it being on the ocean. Once we were released into the sky, the view of Hawaii was awesome. Cool and enjoyable time spent on parasailing, but nothing adventurous or extreme about this.

Snorkeling:

If I have to choose an activity which I enjoyed the most, its snorkeling. We have done this at the best place in the planet, Hanauma Bay, Hawaii. Turquoise clear waters, abundant fish and corals, scenic beauty, its paradise in short. I enjoyed it more because this was the first place where I got an experience of swimming.

We were given snorkel gear (fins, eye gear, snorkels) and were asked to get into the ocean. Initially I was apprehensive and hence took my wife's support but once I caught the rhythm, there was no stopping. I swam across into deep waters too to see beautiful colorful fish. That was a lifetime experience for me.

Future Checklist:

Bungee Jumping: My longtime aim has been Bungee Jumping. I recently found a place called Great Canadian Bungee, 4 hours away from Toronto. Now there is no way I can stop myself from doing this. This summer, am bungee-ing :)

Sky Diving: Another extreme sport which can be done near Toronto. This summer..mostly yes !

Scuba Diving: Scuba or deep sea diving is very similar to snorkeling but at deeper seas with additional gear to breathe. This summer or next summer depending upon the places we visit.

Hang Gliding: Similar to paragliding. Will plan for it soon.

Snowmobiling: Coming winter, snowmobiling will be waiting for me. Pakka !

Will post another article, once am done with these sports :))

My Misadventures Part - 2,3: Homeless @ Anantapur; Kitchener

Preface: This is the second part of my misadventure saga which I started in My Misadventures Part - 1: Mumbai Masala

Misadventure 2: Anantapur, AP, India

It was 2001, the year I completed my bachelors from GPREC, Kurnool which is affiliated to SK University, Anantapur. Everybody was planning to go to Anantapur to obtain B.Tech certificate in May, 2001 but I couldn't join my friends due to prior commitments and hence planned to go in June. Since the planned day to go there was saturday, I forced my friend, a Kurnool localite to accompany me with a promise that we would return by saturday night.

All went well as planned. We reached the university (outskirts of Anantapur) at 9 am on saturday and started certification formalities which went on till 2 pm. We were asked by the staff to wait for some time till the controller of exams signs my certificate. We went to university cafetaria, had lunch and returned in 40 mins and started waiting for a call. 3:30 pm, 4: pm, 4:30 pm, 4:45 pm - nobody called despite my reminding the attendant every 10 minutes. I got worried because the next day was sunday and I would had to waste 2 more days in an alien city where I don't know anybody.

At 5 pm, I raised my voice against the kind of delay and brought this to the notice of a higher official who promptly followed up to see why was there a delay. Shock of the day -  The controller of exams who was supposed to sign the certificate left for the day earlier ( 2:30 pm) due to his personal reasons. My mind blocked, tongue tied, blood boiled, fist closed, frustration mounted...didn't know what to do :X

Anantapur to Kurnool was a 3 hour journey in APSRTC bus and traveling back and forth for a day sounded very boring and tiresome. Then the only option was to stay in Anantapur for entire sunday and come back on monday morning to SKU to get that stupid sign before I could take my certificate and travel back to Hyderabad.

I felt guilty to have brought my friend along with me and hence asked him to go back to Kurnool which he did after some dillydallying. I promised him that I would spend the remaining time somehow as its only one day. What I didn't know was that interval between saturday evening and monday morning would be a hell for me :)

Reason: There was some political rally or meet scheduled on sunday and people from all over rayalaseema districts were supposed to converge in the town and literally take Anantapur by storm. Hence all hotels, lodgings, rooms were booked well in advance.

As soon as my friend left for Kurnool, my eyes accidentally glanced through a local newspaper edition which bragged about the never before never after rally to be scheduled next day. Then I slipped away from the bus stand, approached the nearest lodging, asked if he has an AC room to hire for a day. I still remember his surprised expression when he said "ipudu yaada untai abbi roomsu, entha lekka ichinakoodka dorkaaavu" - means you can't find a room now even if you pay more. I tried my luck at few more hotels but in vain. Its already 7 pm. Squeezed myself into a C grade roadside food-joint, waited for 2 hours to get a table and chair. Somehow had my dinner.

The only place I knew in the town was Bus Station. Went there, tried to find some place to sit and spent time till 12 midnight, but it was getting too congested and packed. I felt I couldn't spend the whole night sitting in one position. Then I got to know that railway station is a stone-throw away. I took my bag, started walking to railway station through a narrow road. Amidst curious passers-by, I reached the rlwy station, purchased a platform ticket, went to second class waiting lounge, found a comfortable chair and slipped into slumber.

Just when I was about to get into a deep sleep, somebody patted me on my shoulder. Yes, that's a ticket collector. He asked me why was I in the lounge. I told I was waiting to receive my friend who was arriving from Vizag (thanks to railway platform announcements, I knew that a train from Vizag was supposed to come at 2 am). TC guy said ok and stayed back in that lounge. 2 am train arrived, TC was staring at me suggesting to leave then. I came out of the lounge, mingled among passengers, went out only to return after 20 mins to take another platform ticket which would be valid for 2 more hours. I also took care to know the next train arriving at 4 am. But it was a Tom and Jerry game between the TC and me for the whole night :(

Finally, it was dawn. Freshened up in waiting lounge and left the railway station for a looooong day to go. By then the town was buzzing with activity thanks to the political meet. Again my destination by default was the bus station :D..went there, ate some breakfast at the bus-stand joint, bought times of india newspaper, filmfare, sportstar and swathi magazines because those were supposed to be my company for the whole day.

Thankfully the previous day, Nepal king and royal family were massacred by their eccentric prince and newspaper had enough fodder for me. I spent till noon somehow and by that time, the newspaper and magazines were borrowed by people of all corners of the bus stand and I never bothered to get those back. A series of forced conversations with co-bus standers started who had all sorts of questions for me like "babu, chala sepati nundi choosthunna, ikkade unnav, em bus ekkali nuvvu ?", "babu, nuvvu edo badha lo unnav, naaku cheppu, badha thagguthadi" :O

Fed up of this unwanted attention and concern, I decided to make a move and see whats around. Humidity was crazy and temperature was boiling. I luckily found some internet center where I planned to spend some 2 hours. But to my horror, the computer there was infested with all XXX pop-ups and videos saved all over the desktop. Adding to my woes, all cubicles were closed and occupied by college going couples busy in their own world. I was the odd man out there and was looked upon as a disturbing agent :-| ..after spending half an hour and not even able to check my email, I shelled out some Rs 30 and thanked myself :)

2 pm, terrible heat, crazy population, nobody to talk, nothing to eat, nowhere to spend time, nothing to do, interfering and intruding co-passengers in bus stand - I wanted to vent the frustration which I did by shouting aloud in a public washroom until others who entered there saw me with disbelief and contempt :-|

At 6 pm, I checked all theaters around and found one movie which was worth watching "priyamaina neeku". I had to wait for 1 hour for a ticket for a movie released more than 3 months back only to find some place to stay for the next 3 hours. How pathetic. Was out by 10 pm, didn't dare to cool my heals for 2 more hours for dinner, rather lived on fruits etc and made my way for my night destination - railway station again :(

I thought that's the worst day I've seen until 2007- when another dreadful situation happened in Canada. Continued below

Misadventure 3: Kitchener, ON, Canada

I arrived to Canada in Aug 2007 and wanted to apply for permanent residence which supposedly needed IELTS score too. I booked for an exam slot in Toronto in Feb 2008 which got canceled due to snow storm and was rescheduled at a town called Kitchener which is some 100 kms from Toronto. It was severe winter. I spoke to a friend of mine who lived in Kitchener and he said I could stay at his place for that one day. I also asked other locals who said I could find some hotels around railway station.

Exam was on Saturday morning at University of Waterloo and I booked a Via rail from Toronto to Kitchener the previous evening so as to reach Kitchener at 8 pm (I didn't have car or G2 license then). After reaching Kitchener railway station, I called that friend who never answered. A slight disturbance kind of feeling crept in.

Then I came out of the station, walked around for a couple of kilometers on one direction. Found no trace of a hotel or any kind of temporary accomodation. I thought I was searching in the wrong direction. Then I caught hold of a pizza store, had pizza and asked the incharge if I could get an address of the nearest hotel, he said he didn't know any (weird !). Its already 10 pm, there was no activity, no buzz, only few stores far from one another and mostly auto repair centers, industrial equipment shops, small factories and  garages. I thought it was a safe bet to spend the night in that VIA rail station (thanks to my earlier experience in Anantapur). Everything went on fine till 11 pm. At 11 pm came an announcement that the station will be closed as the last train just departed. And the temperature outside was -15 Celsius (5 Fahrenheit), fresh from the snow-storm of earlier day.

I didn't know about dial services or any other ways of obtaining help in such situations as that was my first winter and never did I face such situation. Also it was 11 pm and was too late to call anybody in Toronto which was 2 hours away. Then I came to terms that's going to be a tough night for me.


11 pm, shivering chill factor, hills of snow all over, hostile ambiance, nobody to talk or direct to. I went back to the pizza store which was open till 12 pm. Once they displayed their closed board, I walked out in pursuit of some hotel. I walked for 4 kms (around 2.5 miles) on 4 sides of the railway station and all I found were industrial workshops, production machinery etc. That was depressing. I was panting in cold and couldn't afford to stay or sit anywhere on the road due to safety issues. I returned to the closed railway station and decided to spend the remaining night in the premises (a bench at the railway tracks). there was no provision to sleep on the bench as it was divided by arm rests (as seen in the adjacent picture - taken recently as a memory of that day :D). So I had to sit along in the open air only to get panicked by hoots of goods trains which pass by occasionally. After 3 am, it became exceedingly cold and hostile. I could not withstand the wind chill which could as well murder me if I stayed there for long.

I went to the main entrance area where I found an arch with a semi-covered pillar / wall (as seen in the pic). I chose that area as that wall could block cold winds blowing all over. So I sat there till 6 am. There was a public telephone in the vicinity and every now and then, people came to use that. If they saw me, they would have got panicked thinking I was some anti-social element and hence I had to hide myself..huh :)

At 6 am, I woke up from my sitting slumber with an expression of triumph as I knew the railway station would be opened at 6 am. I took my bag, reached the main door and saw opening timings as 6 am on every day, but 8:30 am on saturdays. Another 2.5 hours. That was so dejecting. I literally counted seconds till 8:30 when I rushed even before the station master realized that she opened the door. After freshening up, I asked her timings of train to Toronto. She calmly said "9 pm tonight".Kevvvvvvv...I was ready for another adventure that day.

Took a cab, reached the exam center, finished the exam and luckily found few Toronto bound guys who sympathized with my last night plight and offered to drop me to Toronto. Finally I reach home unscathed.

PS: After getting reasonably good score in IELTS and submitting it along with immigration application, I was told I didn't need that because I already crossed eligibility points without IELTS :-|

My Misadventures Part - 1: Mumbai Masala

My friend uploaded a pic in his Facebook wall which reminded me of few misadventures I faced. A funny account of rather not so pleasant days :)

Misadventure 1: Mumbai Masala

Year 2000: When I was in my final B.Tech in Kurnool, I happened to go to friend's house to chill. I knew he had GRE exam the next day and I thought I could share my two cents for his preparation. It was 2 pm. I just asked him to show his hall-ticket which he did. What I saw was "Exam time: 9 am, Location: Some exam center, Mumbai" kevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv... Yes, it was Mumbai indeed, which he didn't notice.

Flashback: During the application process, he filled his first preference as Kurnool, second as Hyderabad and third as Mumbai and submitted the application well in advance; overlooked the location on hall-ticket assuming that he would anyway get Kurnool as the exam center. Yeeeehahahahahaah :D

Flashpresent: Kurnool didn't have direct buses / trains to Mumbai. Options were to go to Hyd (4 hours away) and catch Mumbai bound train and reach exam center in Mumbai by 9 am next day - which was close to impossible as all trains from Hyd to Mumbai start before 6 pm. The other alternative was to catch a bus to Adoni (a border town between AP and karnataka) which is 2 hours away from Kurnool and catch Chennai - Mumbai express which stops at Adoni for a minute at around 4:15 pm.

There started a pakka project plan :). Aunty wanted me to accompany him and I joined the adventure. 2:15 pm was the time and if we caught a bus right then, we would reach Adoni at 4:15 pm and could catch the train which could drop us at Mumbai exactly at 8 am from where we had to search the exam center (neither of us knew Mumbai). So all we could do was to hope that the train to Mumbai was late at Adoni but reached early to Mumbai :)

We started at 2:20 pm, caught the bus from Kurnool bus station at 2:40 pm. Expected time of arrival at Adoni was 4:40 pm. We sat in the first row reserved for ladies (thankfully there were no many ladies to occupy all reserved seats). While the bus driver was taking his own sweet little time at every stop, we started getting friendly with him only to describe our situation after sometime. He was sweet enough to raise the speed above normal acceptable speed. Every minute was precious for us. Every green traffic signal was like a boon. After sometime the expected time of arrival became 4:20 pm when suddenly traffic jam struck us like a bolt of lightning. 10 mins wasted. The driver almost stood on the accelerator for us and finally we reached the place at 4:30 pm. But he dropped us at Adoni bus station and we didn't know how far was the railway station. Luckily an auto guy came to our rescue and we saw God in him :). he dropped at railway station in 10 mins and the by the time we reached there with a certain mad optimism, it was 4:40 and YES..train was late by half an hour :))

We took general compartment tickets and waited for the train. General compartment was so packed that we had to hang on the footboards till Mumbai :D..crazy...we sneaked into a reserved compartment and were walking all along the train for an hour before we found a couple of empty seats (seats to be occupied by passengers in later stops). Then my friend took out his GRE Barron's to study :X...LOL

Couple of hours later, passengers arrived and kicked us away. We again started roaming all over the train careful enough not to get caught by the TC but the moment came and he caught us. We had to shell out Rs.200 (yes, corruption) to stay back in those compartments. No place to sleep or atleast lie down until 4 in the morning. Upon arrival of Pune, we could not control ourselves; we laid down our bedsheets on the walkway and slipped into a extended power-nap until somebody kicked inadvertently at 7 am (when the train arrived into the outskirts of Mumbai).

Then we stood in the queue to brush our teeth and after that found some place to squeeze ourselves only to be subjects of 100 questions by a curious co-passenger. It was tougher than GRE though. Finally we stepped our feet in Mumbai nagari at 8:15 am. Exam was at 9 am, some 1 hour away from Dadar railway station and we didn't know a bit about the city.

We asked the questionnaire guy of the train as how to go to Andheri and he asked us to follow him which we did. He directed us to a local train and we reached Andheri in some 30 mins. 8:45 am. There we took a bus to the destination and produced a Rs 100 note for 2 tickets to Saki Naka. He said he didn't have change and kicked us out of the bus. Huh..then we took an auto rickshaw after some serious bargaining and reached the exam center by 9:10 (yes thats for GRE, a clock-racing exam).

My friend entered the center and then I got some time to think about food. I roamed around, saw the area, stared at pretty girls around, had some stupidest breakfast on the roadside which was the only place available in the walking distance, tried by best to read hindi numbers on local buses, tried to decipher marathi spoken by by-passers, went to police-station (that was the only place in the vicinity with some seating area). By then, my friend completed his exam, got a decent score for the hardships we faced.

Then the siteseeing bug bit us. We wanted to see Gateway of India, Juhu beach - only places we knew in Mumbai. We asked people around us for directions, started our discovery and reached Gateway of India after 2 hours of hardwork, had some lunch, took polaroid pics (saw that pic on my friend's FB wall today), and started for Juhu beach which is again a 2 hour journey from there. After spending an hour or so, an hour long journey to reach Dadar station to go back to Kurnool (Adoni). By the time we reached the train, general compartment was again packed. Ishtory shtarted againnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...imagine how we spent next 15 hours :-|

PS: That guy never applied for US universities despite all the circus. Soon after, he appeared for GATE, got M.Tech admission in a good university and came to US on work visa much later :)

Coming soon in next parts:

Misadventure 2: How I spent 3 days and 2 nights on Anantapur streets, bus station, railway station without an accommodation.
Misadventure 3: How I spent a whole night outdoors in Canadian snowing winter at -15 celsius (5 Fahrenheit)

Bollywood's Invasion of Toronto - IIFA Weekend

Celebrities, especially movie-stars are demigods in most of the cases and gods in the remaining. When these demigods come down to entertain their fans live or just give a glimpse, there is no stopping for adrenalin rush, high octane energy, deafening screams, fits of ecstasy. The trend is universal - be it Kodak theater of LA during Oscars or Cannes Festival. But what we have witnessed this weekend was Baap of all festivals, not just because of stars but because of fans and audience who painted the city red with their passion towards showbiz.

Toronto which is the home for Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) is known to be a hub for movies, showbiz and has a dedicated "entertainment district" in the heart of downtown. When the city roped in IIFA after a bid of some $12 million, nobody expected that the returns would be in the tune of almost $100 million and 30,000 tickets will be sold out in 10 freaking minutes, thanks to movie-crazy city (obviously due to people like me ;))

The events started a week ago and culminated in the awards show on Saturday night and believe me it was Bollywood's invasion of Toronto. Downtown was gripped in high fever with flash mobs performing in major intersections, tourists pouring in from US, UK and other countries, banners, advertisements flashing all over, black market heating up, media erupting with columns about bollywood stars and their comparison to American counterparts. The hype and hullabaloo surpassed biggest events which were held with biggest Hollywood stars and rockstars. Reason: Shahrukh Khan was coming too.

As mentioned earlier, more than stars themselves, the festive aura created by fans, general public, PR and marketing machinery was breathtaking which premier (equivalent to chief minister) of Ontario could not resist but to receive almost all stars personally at the airport and arrange their comforts in and around Royal York Hotel, which became another hotspot for the week.

The next week was abuzz with fashion shows, music shows, tribute to MJ, tribute to Raj Kapoor, chat shows, premieres, stars' parties and more. All stars repeatedly showered flowery praises on audience and people of Toronto (which I'm sure they do everywhere they go :D)), but the kind of attention they received here was phenomenal which was infectious and they reciprocated with equal warmth, interest and made the event, a blitzkrieg.

My wife was proactive enough to grab two tickets as soon as the sale proceeds started in January 2011, but I thought it would be any other event, especially because AR Rahman's show we attended last year was lacklustre and bland. I was in my own sweet little world away from the hype and hence was in a kind of shock to see so much India in Toronto when I visited the core area two days before the main event. I'm sure local Caucasians and non-desis would have felt a bit confused, insecure and invaded with the kind of bolly-onslaught :D

Something About the Stars:

The day before the main event was a limited invitee party organized on behalf of Shahrukh Khan and Vivek Oberoi in Sheraton Center - ironically attended by 2000 people. Or may be the word limited was used to distinguish from the main event where many more were expected :D..Okay..the party was held in a ballroom and after some wait, Vivek Oberoi flashed in white jodhpuri and spent an hour exchanging pleasantries and trying to be a good boy, which was kinda boring.

SRK made people wait for a while before arriving in his black DON types suit only to make the audiences hysterical who screamed for 20 mins straight before he could talk a word. Yeah, feminine lungpower ruled the roost :)..I've never been a great fan of SRK movies, though I like his offscreen persona, charm, spontaneity, wit and humor which he showcased again proving why he is a darling of masses.

Shahrukh Khan @ Sheraton Center, Toronto
Photo Courtesy: Wifey

He clearly made it an interactive session and made his audience feel important and special. Maybe he knows that's how he could retain and make fans, but the precision of his people management skills is par excellent. I was one of the few selected by his security personnel to ask him a question but I didn't have any in my mind as there was nothing I wanted to know about him which he didn't tell in his televised interviews by then.

But since the opportunity beckoned I asked him whens the next movie he would be shooting in Toronto. He answered that he shot most of "Kal Ho Na Ho" in Toronto except landmarks of NYC (Brooklyn bridge, Times Square, Central Park etc) and was working on some script which would be shot in the city again. Then the next question, I asked about his confidants out of the industry to which he answered something but I could not concentrate. But the humility and importance with which he answered my questions in that 5 minute one-to-one conversation made me feel very important. Liked it. I also mentioned to him that my mom is his fan and then my wife screamed aloud that she loves him which he reciprocated with a gentle bow and a smile :)

Towards the end, he approached all his fans who wanted to take his autographs and my wife was one of them and a luckier one perhaps to get much more attention that just an autograph. She liked it :)

All these stars whom we always read about in print, electronic and web media, magazines, tabloids, see on silver screens, small screens seemed so approachable and normal that the halo created by the media seemed so affected and projected.

IIFA Awards Nite

IIFA Awards Stage @ Rogers Center, Toronto
Photo Courtesy: Wifey

The next day evening was the mega event at Rogers Center, the local baseball team's adda. When we reached the place, we were shocked to see people thronging in tens of thousands to have a glimpse of stars on the red carpet (called green carpet in IIFA's context). We were bowled by the spectacular colors, projections and arrangements on the stage and were pleasantly surprised that our seats were close enough to the main stage.

The event started at 9 pm and ended at 2:30 am but there was never a dull moment, thanks to fantastic hosting by Shahrukh Khan, Anil Kapoor, Boman Irani, Ritesh Deshmukh, Karan Johar. It was good to see legendary stars like Asha Bhonsle, Dharmendra, Sharmila Tagore, Hema Malini, Zeenat Aman, Rishi Kapoor, Sridevi; colorful performances by Priyanka Chopra, Bipasha Basu, Kangna Ranaut.

Seeing Hillary Swank, Brett Lee, Cuba Gooding (Show me the money-guy) was a big surprise for me. Sonu Nigam, Shankar Mahadevan never took the stage.

Others who were on stage to the delight of boisterous audience were actresses Anushka Sharma, Genelia, Mallika Sherawat, Sonakshi Sinha, Shilpa Shetty, Dia Mirza, Malaika Arora, Esha Deol, Amisha Patel, Lisa Ray; Studs like Arjun Rampal, Rahul Khanna, Dino Morea, Ranveer Singh, Deols (Sunny, Bobby), Khans (Arbaaz, Sohail, Fardeen, Zayed etc), Sonu Sood, Ardhad Warsi, Javed Jaffery, Irfan Khan and others

After Shahrukh, if there was any other rockstar who amused the crowd by his very appearance on stage, it was Ranveer Singh who got unprecedented response from the audience. If the public mood is any gauge, he can be the next superstar, provided he selects good flicks. The highlight of the show was a much awaited grand finale by Shahrukh who started his dance but soon made the whole audience dance to his tunes. Witty one liners by hosts were cracking ;)

Though A-listers Bachchans, Hrithik, Salman, Katrina, Kareena etc didn't show up, audience didn't seem to complain but were certainly disappointed with absence of their very own fellow Canadian citizen Akshay Kumar, who usually spends a hell lot of a time here.

Coming to the recipients of awards, like any other award there is a high probability of fixing those because movies like My Name is Khan and Dabangg swept almost all awards to the delight of NRI fans who predominantly are devoted to Shahrukh and Salman. Organizers seemed to play to the galleries. I thought SRK was not worth a "Best Actor Award" for MNIK but I forgot that when he said "My Name is Khan, and I'm a Torontonian" in his winning speech :)

Why People Dislike Me !

I guess I'm lucky to have people who like me unconditionally for what I'm and who never see anything bad about me but I must admit there are equal number of people who are not really fond of me and who ran into some sort of strained relationships with me because of mutual discomfort. I'm writing this post to list down why I end up having problems with some people, what qualities in others I can't get along with and why some people don't like me.

First I present a list of qualities which I don't like in others and then another list of negative qualities in me which some people dislike :)

Usually if I don't like some quality in others which I don't like, I just ignore that and stop acknowledging the very behavior or sometimes the person himself/herself. But sometimes I can't escape when their behavior affects me directly. Here is the list of such irritating qualities I can't somehow tolerate:

• Harshness: I love soft-spoken people even if they talk tough with convictions and reasoning. But I so often face so called self proclaimed straight forward bums who talk harsh and call it being straight forward. I have written an article exclusively on this topic (Harsh Criticism)
• Backbiting: One of the reasons for my flaring temper. There are morons all over who can never take me on directly and hence resort to backbiting, hypocrisy, double crossing, faking and propaganda. Most of the cases, I stop acknowledging existence of such people.
• Me too syndrome: A rather funny and miserable set of souls. These people have sharper tongues than ears. They don't even wait for me to complete my sentence before saying "me too" and start bragging about themselves to prove they are more worthy or talented than I'm. Good if they are, but conversation with such people is often worthless and annoying.
• Exploitation: I don't mind people using me for their benefit. I don't even expect them to remember what they got out of me but there are certain section of people who try to take undue advantage and try to manipulate me to their tunes which I get livid with. This is something which I'm completely intolerant about.
• Loudmouths: I abhor loudmouths who always depend on their coarse and undignified behavior to prove their point. I don't see any point talking to such people and want to be away from all such menacing illogical brats.
• Scheming: Another set of morons who always see an opportunity to play dirty politics even when  not necessary.

As I mentioned earlier, I don't tend to acknowledge or react to most of such people whom I don't get along well with unless and until their behavior affects me directly. A previous write-up as how to deal with such negativity (Dealing with Negativity)

Now the big topic. Just like a coin which has two sides, there are qualities in me which people dislike, have problems with or sometimes simply hate. I don't mind putting these thoughts across the table :)

• Temperamental / moody: I'm called short-tempered and moody by quite a few people which is somewhat true. My mercury levels shoot up rapidly but I seldom express my anger and when I don't want others to get hurt, I just get silent, stop reacting to them which makes me look moody :)
• Arrogant: Lot of people said this including my mom :) May be I'm but I don't remember rubbing my arrogance on anybody or denigrating / belittling anybody. I just feel proud and good about myself but never speak derogatory about others. So my arrogance is harmless :)
• Argumentative: This strained my relationships with quite a few. Be it political, religious, economical, behavioral, managerial, professional, personal or any damn thing, I have an opinion on almost everything and I don't really follow something just because others say so and hence some people dislike me. But I never tried to appease this set of people :)
• Indisciplined: Serious charge but true. My wife hates this. I don't like going to bed before 3 am, don't like waking up before 10 am, don't like working from 9-5, my productive work starts after 10 pm, I never follow balanced diet or any regimens and disregard a lot of other social and moral ways of life which people usually associate with discipline. I somehow couldn't synchronize myself with some rules and have found an alternative to compensate every indiscipline.
• Show-off: Rather humorous allegation but I don't mind showing off something which I'm proud of. I usually show-off to people whom I love and who take pride in my success, possession and not to impress somebody who is not so important for me. So if somebody feels insecure about what I do, I try very less to make them feel comfortable :)
• Dominate: Some people allege that I dominate, but I never assert my authority or control over others, however close they could be. I just don't like others exercising any control over me and in that sense, I'm brutally independent, but don't believe in dominating anybody. This is a misconception which was brought to my notice a lot of times but I didn't know how to shed this image.
• Careless: Another quality which my mom always complains against me. Yes, I'm careless and negligent to lot of things, tasks, people though I don't always mean to. May be this is a manufacturing defect :)
• Bad at maintaining relationships: I guess this is my only negative quality that I'm shameful about. I'm worst at saving relationships despite seeing increasing gaps or drifting rapport. People mistake it as my ego, but I somehow am not good at saving relationships or friendships turning sour. I lost a lot of loved ones due to this one reason which I always repent.

There could be many more negative qualities in me, but these are few which I could narrow down after analyzing why some people dislike me. The reason for writing about these negative qualities is not to explain or convince anybody who doesn't like me, but to present my other side to those who like me so that they can decide if they still want to like me or not :D

Education System - A Travesty

I always believe I learnt more from google, wikipedia than from text books in schools or colleges. My english grammar and comprehension skills were enhanced by non-curriculum based books written by Wren & Martin, Normal Lewis, Nurnberg & Rosenblum etc, but not by english text books I mugged up in school. My analytical skills were honed by my preparation of GRE, CAT and other aptitude exams but not.....oops, there was no such subject at school dedicated to improve analytical aptitude :)

Back in school, teachers favored only those students who mugged up books and vomited their memory on answer sheets. So whenever I tried to write a concept I understood, in my own words, I ended up getting lower marks and I saw an imminent danger of missing the ubiquitous aim of maintaining 85% (which was considered a hallmark for intelligence, hardwork in those days - mid 90's). So I followed the herd, mugged up words, filled additionals and somehow managed to cross the so called cut off mark. But what I didn't realize was that I ended up being just another floppy disk of memory and not a genuinely intelligent kid.

There were many who were genuinely awesome who applied thought and reasoning behind concepts, derived formulae, tried to relate practical implementation of everything they learnt including Pythagoras and other theorems or organic chemistry or quantum mechanics. But ironically, such students passed with average marks and later joined some average course which didn't tap or suit their knowledge. On the other hand, those who by-hearted formulae, theorems, answers got admission into creme-de-la-creme courses which hurled them into cushioned careers.

Bottom Line: Those who were analytical, reasoning and practical didn't get marks and their careers went into oblivion. That's the situation of our exams / grades driven education system.

Intermediate education has been worse to its core. Cracking EAMCET was the final destination and students were put to every kind of pressure to reach that destination rather than directing them to excellence. I have to confess that whatever I've done in those two years was crap as I never tried to think above EAMCET. I kind of mugged up some 500 formulae in MPC and worked on some 1000 model papers to see what kind of questions were asked earlier. It became a method-preparation in rat race. After this kind of homework, EAMCET went well. I was expecting 400 rank but got 4000 rank and quite naturally, I could not perform well in IIT-JEE as I lacked that conceptual aptitude, which I repent till date.

Engineering was another black spot. After 4 years, I got B.Tech certificate but could never understand how to apply that knowledge. Even those who were interested in that field, underwent private courses on related subjects before bagging jobs in the field. This was the direct result of irrelevant course curriculum and lack of practical approach which took a toll on students when they became employees. No surprise, we see lakhs of engineering students graduate every year, but only a handful of them - resourceful.

With the kind of half baked theoretical knowledge I acquired in B.Tech, I was apprehensive to appear for technical exam like GATE and hence chose GRE because it was all about maths, english which I always loved. The exam went well, I received I20's from decent universities, planned everything for US travel but US consulate turned to be my bete noire since then. 4 times rejection of student visa under the pretext that I was a potential immigrant left me half happy, half sad; happy because I didn't have to pursue MS again in engineering and sad because I didn't have an alternative.

Then started my journey towards CAT which was supposedly the toughest exam in India. I was over-ambitious and over confident because the syllabus was again my favorite - maths, analytical and english.  But the exam clearly defied my over-confidence and I could not get admission in IIMs. Another repentance of my life. But I had a sense of deja vu, when I got an admission in second rung business school which thankfully considered by CAT scores.

Only after joining MBA did I realize the blackhole in the education I underwent till then.  In MBA, I was made to work on lot of projects to understand the ground reality and challenges the real world faced with little emphasis on marks and grades. As a part of curriculum, I knocked door to door to sell insurance policies, online bill payment solutions; went around offices to sell corporate greeting cards for new-years; roamed around bus stops to conduct surveys, sat hours before computer to identify target customers, wrote business plans, marketing plans, market research strategies, learnt how to speak, how to present, how to communicate in the real situations - all through working with structured companies like ICICI, BSNL, TATA AIG, Dr. Reddy's Labs, ITC etc. MBA was the course where I scored the least (marks) in my education history but again that was the phase where I "learnt" something, which I missed earlier. The corporate world too didn't peep into my academic score when they offered me the job.

So what I understood was that if there was a practical orientation in a course, the student will learn and can easily bridge the gap between academics and work atmosphere.

Now talking about the current education system, it is simply worsening students' aptitude by over emphasizing on marks and grading system. 95% has become a joke and making things worse, a college affiliated to Delhi University made 100% as a cut-off mark for admissions. Ridiculous to the core. This kind of glorification of marks is adversely affecting Indian student world.

Usually there is a general perception that Indian students are intelligent but why is this intelligence not applied to develop the country ? Except one CV Raman or S.Chandrasekhar or Amartya Sen, we didn't really see nobel laureates; we never saw any significant invention or discovery from India. The only reason for this could be over-emphasis on theoretical education system, obsolete and irrelevant curriculum, unrealistic examination system, unnecessary glorification of marks, impractical criteria of admissions which leave out genuine wizards and elevate plastic brains.

That's the condition of our education system which is unwittingly hobbling the untapped talent, intelligence of young brains and hence prosperity and advancement of the country on a broader level !

PS: Related article about application of knowledge to prosper: Be an Entrepreneur !

Laws of Favour

Favour (Favor), as defined in dictionary, is any act or deed in which help is provided without expectation or reciept of anything in return. Going by this definition, I haven't done any favor to anybody in my life because I always got something in return (sometimes more than what I've done to others in return).

On the other hand, I have many people in my life who went out of their way to help me out in my bad times just to see me happy. I feel very humbled and obliged by the very thought of these people though I seldom express that in person. I try to do everything in my capacity for their benefit though I don't mean to balance or repay their timely support.

In this post, I'm trying to sum up how people ought to behave when they take or do favors to others. This is a the simple analysis of day to day situations I saw in the world around me.

LAWS OF FAVOUR

When you take favors from others:

1. Never measure the value of the favor you took. Don't calculate how much time, effort or money did the other person spend to help you. What all matters is that the person gave you a helping hand when you needed it badly regardless of how big or small the favor was. The noble intention which led the person to help you is divine and you should remember that forever.
2. Never neutralize the favor taken. Don't assume that the favor somebody did for you is cancelled just because you do something else for him later. Its your basic responsibility and duty to support those who helped you earlier. That doesn't undermine the help you have taken because today you may be in the position to help him just because of the favor you've taken earlier. So no balance sheets in favors. Its not barter trade.
3. Never live in hypothesis and assumptions. Don't ever feel that if this person didn't help you, somebody else would have done that. Whatever were the alternatives, you took somebody's help at that point and that's it.
4. Acknowledge the favor taken in public. Some people tend to thank the person who helped in private but never acknowledge the reason for his well-being in public domain. Not that the other person needs any publicity, but it shows your respect and humility in accepting the help taken in public. It only elevates both, the helper and the receiver.
5. Success is not proportional to one's talent. All talented people don't get successful if they are not supported by a lot of people. Identify those people and show gratitude for whatever they have contributed to your success and well-being, regardless of what you do to them.

When you do favors to others:

1. Never expect anything in return for the favor you do. If you expect them to do something in return, its not wrong, but your favor turns into investment. In that case you should not expect the respect and gratitude which you otherwise receive.
2. Understand the thin line between duty and favor. If doing something is your official or moral duty, don't name it as "favor". If you are being paid money, products, services, effort or any kind of contribution as per the predefined arrangement, its not a favor anymore. Some people who claim to be "serving" customers are ludicrous as what is "service" when they are being paid for their duty. Its strictly business.
3. Don't ask / expect the beneficiaries to remember the favor and behave in their benefit forever. Though it's the responsibility of the beneficiary to behave in such way, the person who helped should not really exploit the situation. Again respect is at stake.
4. Just because you helped somebody, don't get under the feeling that you are omnipotent. Even the most powerful might need favors from weaker people. Humility defines the person, not conceit.

These laws of favor if followed, will elevate the relationship, mutual respect and admiration between those who helped and those who received favors.

I support Baba Ramdev !

The first time, I've seriously taken Baba Ramdev was when he convened a series of rallies against corruption an year or so back where Anna Hazare, Kiran Bedi, Arvind Kejriwal etc came to show their solidarity. So I've known Ramdev as the pioneer in the current anti-corruption movement much before Anna Hazare took to streets.

With regard to Ramdev's on-going fast against black-money, I know black money can't be brought to India in a day. But is protesting against black money something wrong especially when Govt already has a list of people who hid black money in Swiss bank but says it's not going to release those names ? I supported Anna Hazare though I know Lokpal bill has loopholes just because it has more good points than bad. Same is the case here. I will support Baba Ramdev's stint against black money and corruption because its not against national interest.

The whole country and diaspora erupted to support Anna Hazare and Govt had its foot in mouth almost immdiately, but the sentiment is not seen now in Ramdev's case. Any reason ??

The main reason is that Ramdev wears Saffron, which is associated with Hinduism. BJP and RSS seen as Hindu organizations support him. Yes, these are the very reasons which the congress government, national media and "secularists" say. So that means, anybody associating or demonstrating Hinduism is a social outcast. Can any congress leader or anybody who claims to be secular have balls to slam any Muslim or Christian leader who takes up similar movement ? Nobody thinks twice because Ramdev is a Hindu and that too he wears saffron and that too he is openly supported by RSS. So bashing him will only appease the whole country including Hindus who are against "hindu nationalism"

An idiot by name Digvijay Singh of congress says that Hemant Karkare was not killed by Kasab, but by Hindu terrorists. He slams USA for not respecting Osama Bin Laden "ji" (as he addressed) in his last rites. He takes on Ramdev or anybody who is even remotely associated with Hindus because doing that will supposedly fetch Muslim votes. This is tacitly supported by Madam. The pack of fools thus insulting Muslims' intelligence and integrity on a wholesale basis treating them as a bunch of vote bank who can sway by their stupid tantrums without realizing that they are expanding the rift between communities.

The great Shahrukh Khan doesn't support Ramdev becuase the latter has political ambitions. So what ? Is having political ambition a bigger crime than publicly supporting a friend involved in scam of crores of rupees. SRK says Ramdev should do what he is supposed to do. Then why the f*** is he getting involved in IPL and cricket ? What does Salman Khan who is embroiled in his own set of crimes know about the on-going movement to make unwarranted remarks ?

Does the country take it kindly If lets say any muslim leader is criticized like this ? Reporters were being shot at, cartoonists are being harassed to death if a religious figure is criticized in other parts of the world. But anybody can take on representatives because Hindus are spineless morons who have been taking every crap and shit since centuries.

By the way those who slam RSS and VHP never give any reason for their bitterness. If the reason is Babri Masjid demolition, aren't congress leaders guilty for their holocaust against Sikhs. Aren't Sikhs minorities ? Aren't discrimination and crimes against Sikhs religious and fundamental crimes? So if RSS is anti-minority, isn't congress anti-minority ? Aren't Sonia, Rahul and co products of the same dynasty who made millions of Sikhs flee the country, guilty of oppression ? Isn't this bloody hypocrisy ?

Media and Govt cries when Sadhvi Rithambara of RSS shares the stage with Baba Ramdev. Are they selectively blind not to see Moulvi Rizvi and other eminent representatives of Christians, Jains on the stage ? How come nobody says that the stage is hijacked by Muslim league or Jain groups ??

Yellow journalists like Barkha Dutt, Sagarika Ghose, Rajdeep Sardesai who play a proxy game in favour of congress have already started their trials to sabotage the movement.

If I'm a bit intelligent and have some logic left behind my mind, I would continue supporting every anti-corruption wave without falling prey to the collective propaganda of the government which has been a safe haven for scamsters, terrorists, corrupted, criminals and media which supports the pack of criminals in power just in their own interest.

Disclaimer: Before anybody jumps to conclusions, I'm not a fan of Ramdev; I have never tried yoga in my life, I'm not a member or sympathizer of any right wing groups. I know a lot of readers will see me as a Hindu hardliner because am defending my identity. When somebody makes a movie called "My Name is Khan" defending his community from typecasting, I can do that in my own medium and capacity and this is my medium. Those who don't feel proud of their identity, religion, way of life is like a dead wood and I'm not one for sure. Your stance is your choice !

Money...Honey !!!

"Dhanam moolam idam jagath" - A sanskrit phrase which means money is the root cause for everything in the world. That's true in sense that money can buy comforts, luxuries, power, prestige, respect and even happiness to some extent. And hence everybody wants money, but the question is HOW MUCH DO THEY NEED ?

I know there is no answer for this question as nobody will have an upper limit set that they just need that much money for being happy. That's human nature. But one has to understand that the significance of money varies from time to time, phase to phase and there will be various factors that will have to take backseat or frontseat vis-a-vis money at different stages of life.

A simplest example: Freshers out of college usually consider three parameters to select their jobs. Parameters being: salary, branded company, job profile. Lucrative pay package and comfort some job-offers provide will be so tempting that the job profile will take the backseat initially. But only after 5 years of working can one realize that they have sufficient money but they didn't learn much to grow further and it would be too late to start a fresh career. I've witnessed many people who are in such situation today.

I also know a lot of people who compromised their everything to get richer. They slogged like donkeys throughout their lives to earn a fortune to provide comfort to their kids. Those kids when grew older didn't realize the importance of hard earned money because they never saw any hardship. They just felt that their parents followed their duty. Alas !

Technology boom brought in the salary revolution and all IT employees became richer overnight, without realizing what they lost in the bargain. Agreed that the money paid to them is significantly more, but they were still paid peanuts in comparison to fortunes those IT companies made thanks to it's employees' bonded labor. On the darker side, workers lost a significant portion of their family life. So while they gained in financial aspect, they lost on relationships and that beautiful time they could have spent with their families and friends.

Entrepreneurs, self-employed, businessmen's case is unique. The more effort they put in, the more money they earn (usually). So their mindset has changed in such a way that the time they spend with their loved ones made them feel guilty as they would have earned more money during those hours. So the bottom line happened to be earning money and materialistic happiness elicited out of that. How about human relations and peace of mind ?

As per statistics, life expectancy has been constantly declining, people are not being as strong as those in previous generations. This generation which is intelligent enough to counter futuristic issues like global warming is not able to comprehend emotional cooling that's seeping in unsuspiciously. Earning money became the biggest goal and everything else lost in the due process is extremely oversighted.

A lower middle class guy wants to slog to fall under upper middle class so that he can drive a car, live in a decent apartment. An upper middle class guy wants to get into elite class to enjoy club memberships, drive a luxury car, own multiple investments. A rich guy wants to earn more to establish contacts and relationships with the powerful who's who in the city. Powerful who's who want to earn more to expand their empire and rule the country's economy. Those kings of corporate world who rule the country earn more to retain their power. SO, IS THERE ANY LIMIT FOR EARNING ? No, absolutely not !

For something which has no end, people are compromising on relationships, few even stoop down to the level of cheating others, breaking hearts, losing loved ones, judging others based on economic status.

Money is an addiction, an unending quagmire, an oasis which converts one's heart into another brain. Theory of evolution says that ape got rid of its tail as it stopped using it. Now the man is the process of getting rid of his heart and hence relationships, emotions, love.

Holding a child's hand, hugging a loved one, shedding a tear for somebody we care for, extending a helping hand, sharing others' griefs, spreading love - don't need money and those who can do all these are richer than the richest.

Money is not everything, honey. Its never too late to realize that !

Harsh Criticism - Symptoms & Cure

Did you ever face people who without any reason criticize and pass unnecessary comments about you, your tastes, your loved ones, your favorite cuisines, actors, movies, genres, cities, habits etc ? I'm sure you did as this is a chronic disease we see in many people in our day to day lives. Common symptoms I noticed in all such souls is either superior complex (coupled with fear of others' superiority) or inferiority complex (coupled with inability to accept their inferiority) which makes them behave in a particular way.

It takes grace, dignity and decency to be polite to others regardless of how close others are and what you feel about them. But being harsh or acidic towards others just needs some sense of mental dysfunction, complex and bad childhood.

Earlier, I wrote an article about so called straight forward people who don't know the difference between being straight forward and being harsh (Read: I'm not straightbackward).

All those who are harsh towards others have the same justification "I don't want to keep anything in my heart and hence am outspoken". This is the most ridiculous justification or argument I ever heard. They don't understand that its not being straight forward but being just plain rude and stupid especially if the opposite person doesn't appreciate the kind of harsh comments. Those who feel being outspoken relieves them from mental tension should understand that while they relieve themselves, they are straining relationship with others who are on the receiving end. That's mere immaturity or childishness and definitely not child-likeness.

Sometimes this kind of immature behavior can be rubbished as their naivete but there are people who belong to a worse category. Those who desperately search for situations to be harsh. These bunch of jokers are incorrigible critics who don't mince a word to be harsh with their acerbic words. Its their inferiority complex and their constant need to make others look inferior to mask their own inabilities. These kind of people are never seen when the whole world appreciates your work or success :)

Every person is made in a different way and has varied interests. This is a basic truth which goes over the head of most self centered nigglers. They follow something and don't think twice before finding fault with or laugh at others who don't follow them, which at times is funny :)

Another category are the talented lot who believe that the rest of the world is bestowed upon at their service. Intelligentsia feel intelligence is the yardstick for respect; those who know a bit of singing or acting or dancing or fighting or blah blah blah take their own skill as a yardstick to respect others and start judging everybody around even if their skill does no good to anybody including themselves. Anybody's success or skill is not their favor to the humanity, but for themselves. Success is beautiful and respected only when coupled with grace and humility, not pomposity, judgement or conceit.

Bottom Line: Spreading hatred is very easy and being harsh to others for whatever reason is the gateway to promote hatred. Empathy is a simple lock for this gateway. Just put yourself in others' shoes before passing any judgement or comments about others, especially if you don't need to.

Limit the criticism to constructive criticism if you want others to improve but if you are unnecessarily harsh to anybody, there will be only two consequences:

• Either you lose relationships (if the other person is sensitive)
• Or you lose respect (if the other person doesn't take your harshness to heart).

Once you follow this kind of Gandhigiri of maintaining restraint in harsh criticism and start being nice, you'd feel you belong to a superior breed of people, much above the pack of nasty organisms !

What My Dad Taught Me !

After writing posts about my mom and my wife, the last part of the trilogy is obviously about my dad and what could be a better day than my parents' wedding anniversary (May 16th).  I seldom express anything to my dad and thought this is the best medium to let him know what he means to me and what he taught me :)

Again it would be foolish if I start writing how much my dad loves me or cares for me. But this is definitely a moment to acknowledgement what he taught me by example. The three biggest lessons of life I learnt observing my dad are:

(1) Developing an identity and being ourselves regardless of our background
(2) Doing and enjoying whatever we like regardless of what others think
(3) Being soft-spoken, amiable and chivalrous even if others consider that as our weakness.

If I happen to project any of the above-mentioned characteristics, its just because I'm heavily influenced by my dad's style.

My dad's childhood and adolescence was in stark contrast to my mom's. He was born into an affluent family of landlords and my grandfather has been sarpanch of his village for 3 decades. With the kind of lifestyle he spent his childhood and adolescence, anybody would expect my dad to be a spoilt kid, but that didn't matter to him as he grew up to realize that he wanted to be a self made man.

He never liked his identity to be a son of somebody. He was the only son of the family (from previous few generations including his) who came out of the political ambiance to find himself a decent job by his own credentials to sustain himself out of any family influence and since that day never did he demand / command / question / enjoy even a penny from his ancestral property. It takes a lion heart to be a man of values and supreme self confidence to shift gears from a affluent life with 10 servants around to a struggler who went around to do odd jobs, starve and make his own mark in the world. And my dad, indeed has a lion heart.

He got married when he was 22 and I was born by the time he turned 23. I was strictly raised amidst middle class values and from the time I remember, I was made to understand the importance of hardwork, self sufficiency, simplicity and I hardly knew the kind of background my father came from until I was some 6 years old and visited the home village near Ghanpur of Warangal Dist.

Whenever I visited the village, I was royally pampered and almost spoilt by the whole village till I was some 12 years old. I remember people there addressing me as "Chinna Panthulu". That was sprawling yesteryear modeled house built in the midst of an acre of land, a big cow barn, an area for grandfather's daily political meetings, a ration warehouse, a dhobi ghat in the backyard, huge garden for vegetables and villages of farmland. But my parents took utmost care so that I don't get carried away by that lifestyle and grandeur and here I'm :)

Coming back to my parents' early married years: Those were the days when ladies of homes were confined to kitchens and there was no concept called chivalry among men. Men who asked their wives' opinion in social matters or those who helped their wives in kitchen were considered meek and henpecked. Infact thats the stupidity even the current generation follows sometimes. But my dad showed the world how important it is to see wife as equal and how joyful life would be if wife is made a best friend.

He never wanted a macho or masculine image which he might've bestowed with had he not allowed my mom to present her views. He never stopped or restricted my mom in speaking her mind and doing her heart. He never thought twice to help my mom in kitchen before guests or relatives. Chauvinists and pessimists were crying foul but my dad was and has been chivalrous till date. He was never a "Tiger" or "Anaconda" as fathers depicted in movies or narrated by my friends. I feel so proud of him :)

My dad realized that my mom had the potential to make it big in professional and social circles as he stood as a pillar of support by rekindling her education, encouraged her to pursue her career, did whatever he could and my mom stood upto his expectations and turned up to be his support in spinning money for the family. That's marriage for them - beautifully complementing and supplementing each other :)

My dad always did what he wanted, never cared about others. But never did he get an image of an arrogant, stubborn or irritating person because of his social behavior which I try very hard to emulate but fail miserably. He is the most soft spoken person as known to all his friends, confidants, acquaintances and relatives. I seldom saw him in anger or frustration. Others would not have seen him ever in any kind of negative emotions like anger, frustration, scheming, jealous, loudness etc. My dad has been a saintly figure even for those who have some problems with me or my mom :) So he taught me without preaching that we should be ourselves without being harsh to others. These seeds were sown since my childhood.

His patience is infectious, his composure is soothing, his simplicity is inspiring, his independence is brutal, his conviction is ruthless, his attitude is impeccable, his influence in enormous, his love is impalpable, his support is unflinching. He is my dad, he is my hero.

Mom & Dad, happy anniversary to you and love you both :) ..

PS: Those who wonder why did I write only about dad on my parents' anniversary, please browse through an older post a week ago where I wrote about my mom (My Mom - My Friend)

With this ended the series of my family related personal posts for this season. Some other topic very soon :)

Marital Bliss - Celebration of Life !

On May 11, my wife and I would be a happily married couple for the past 4 years and an year and a half of courtship before that. This post is not about our love story as I've narrated that umpteen number of times and most of my blog-readers know that by-heart :)

I proposed her within a week of knowing her. Some people called it infatuation, others named it hastiness. But after 25 years of being in single status and not proposing to any girl, I felt she was the girl who could make me feel complete. A week of conversation made me realize that I could go upto any extent to make her my life-partner and I did. Since then the love has been exponentially growing and hence just saying I love her doesn't sum up all the respect, admiration, bonding, affection, love I have towards her.

Every guy will have a wishlist as what he wants to see in his wife and everybody's wishlist will have few common qualities: beauty, friendship, understanding. But I'm lucky to get more in my wifey.

She may not be the most beautiful girl I ever know, but she is the most graceful, attractive and the cutest. The way she carries herself sweeps me off the feet till date. It is usually said that infatuation evaporates soon and love remains forever. But after 4 years of marriage, I still feel the infatuation and I wish it remains forever too. Till date, I so love to impress her, grab her attention, I still feel ecstatic when she holds my hand, feel secure when she smiles, groom myself to look good with her.

Men say they hang around with friends to beat the stress of family life. But for me, its other way round. I wish to hang around with my wife, narrate her my experiences, long to listen to her, talk about everything under the sun. We share tastes in terms of cuisines, hang out spots, genres of movies, music, hobbies like travelling, photography, shopping. She has been my best friend and will always be.

Understanding is a very vague term, but if I have to define that I would define it as something which I have with my wife. That describes everything. We never had to use words, gestures or even expressions to make each other understand and comfortable. We know and complement each other's thought process, reactions, interests and decisions. This makes us feel and behave like bf-gf rather than orthodox wife and husband. Everybody who have seen us together will vouch for that.

OK, a quick question here. Did you ever see a person who NEVER argues or complains ? If no, its high time to meet my wife. If you think I'm lucky to find somebody like this as a wife, then I can't agree more. If you don't believe when I say I'm yet to get into an argument with her, all I can do is to smile helplessly and if I see anybody having a fight with her, I would like to congratulate them for being the most miserable and nastiest of living organisms alive :D

She always says that she never enters into a verbal duel or mind games because she knows she can't win but I'm in the process of making her realize how divine that quality is :) But the flip-side is that she has been the victim of my tantrums and temperaments which am sure she got used to by now :-|

She is my stabilizing factor. Whenever arrogance creeps into my head, I just realize how down-to-earth she was with her kind of knowledge and success stories in her kitty. It immediately brings me down to the ground. Whenever some tension troubles me, I just talk to her and her way of taking things easy makes me realize I was over-reacting. 

Everybody likes to feel important and my wife has all the time in the world and all ears for me. She is the only person who enjoys listening to me whatever I say. I can be myself as she never judges me, never minds placing me above her, always takes pride in my achievements and accomplishments. The kind of importance she gives to me often raises my confidence levels.

She pampers me, she understands me, she stabilizes me, she loves me, she cares for me, she serves me, she is proud of me and SHE IS MINE !

Ammadu, life has been a celebration since you arrived into my life. Love !

My Mom - My Friend

I know mothers' day is around the corner. Though we don't need any particular day to love our mother, dedicating a day to celebrate and acknowledge how important she is doesn't harm because we don't do that everyday. This post is not to show how much I love my mom or vice-versa because it would be foolish of me to do that for the simple reason that mother-son relationship and love is beyond expressions, beyond words in general and for me in particular.

My mom was 16 when she was just out of the depression of her father's untimely demise which struck her big-time. Once a bright student and a career oriented person, she could not cope with up the depression, pressure, lack of exposure, direction, sponsorship and ended up being a 10th fail student before she got married at 16. When I was born, she was 17 years old. Yes, you read it right.

She started a new life with new ambition and that was to provide me a life which she always wanted and dreamt for herself. But she was naive enough to ward off all kinds of hardships and humiliations she faced. At 17, with no much social sense, contacts, street smartness, education, support, knowledge, legacy she had to face a mammoth task of fighting against all odds and raising me to make her dreams come true. So her second life literally started with my birth. So it would be apt to say that me and my mom grew together :)

In another two years, my sister was born and at 19, my mom was a mother of two. Then she realized she had to grow beyond her capabilities and constraints to understand what was right for us. The lady who was matriculation failed before marriage, with her iron will, took up education along with us. In the next fifteen years of continuous education, attending colleges, courses she completed her BA, CLSc, BLSc, typewriting lower, higher and took a part-time vocation of tutoring 10 school students upto their 10th class. This was to improve her own knowledge which she missed during her education, to develop her communication and add up few quick bucks. Later, nothing stopped her from grabbing a job as a librarian at Osmania University Engineering college and thus started her career at 31 and she didn't look back since then.

Now when I meet kids of next generation, I feel left out and unmatched to their body language, exposure and acumen. But my mom was always ahead of her next generation. Lot of people would be surprised to know that my mom taught me how to use a computer. She knew MS Office well before I knew how to switch on the computer. She created her email id well before I knew what was internet. Even today she explains nuances of using internet which I didn't know earlier. We started watching cricket since 1987 world cup and since then she has been a cricket maniac more than me.

In recent movies like Taare Zameen Par or 3 Idiots, it was shown that parents should not direct children in their education, but I'm glad my mom did that for me. She was more informed, knowledgeable and dynamic enough to research and direct me in the way which was beneficial for me. She researched every college I applied for including intermediate, engineering, MBA and even US universities I applied for MS. Everything worked out only to my benefit. The only thing I couldn't agree to her direction was when she wanted me to pursue IAS seriously. I felt I'm not intellectually and morally made to get into that direction but my mom had supreme confidence in my general knowledge and aptitude :)

My mom's contribution to my professional success has been matchless and am sure nobody else would have been luckier than me. But what I learnt from her just by observing her has been much more. So her impact on my personal life, social presence and behavior has been immense and those who know both of us can vouch for that :)

Her social presence is immaculate and I didn't see anybody in my life who could steal the show or limelight in her presence. Period ! We all are used to the kind of insecurity she imparts on her peers, colleagues and we are equally habituated to awe my friends and my sister's friends express when they meet my mom. Neither me nor my sister inherited her charm, wit and that unique quality of being a cynosure in social circles.

Her confidence has been supreme and we never witnessed any moment when she was afraid of anybody in her whole life. Her "care a damn" attitude is something I emulate sub-consciously. She never taught me to be a fighter, but just showed me what it is all about and I went on to follow her and here I'm.

Unlike orthodox mothers, my mom was always supportive of love marriages and she was more than happy when I introduced my wife (then gf) to her. Rather my mom was relieved as she didn't have to accompany me in rating girls whom we stare at in malls or public places :D...She was such a friend that I stopped calling her amma and addressed her with her petname, Bujji for past many years :)

She went out of her way to make her daughter-in-law comfortable as she was wary of apprehensions a girl comes with when she enters her husband's house. The only person whom I'm afraid of in this world is my mom and the only person who is not afraid of my mom is my wife because of the comfort level they share and the pampering she receives from my mom :D

Thanks to her early marriage, she's done with her responsibilities as my sister's marriage and my marriage happened by the time my mom turned 44. She became a grand mother at 46. Now she is busy pursuing her hobbies like reading, traveling. She traveled more than me. She saw every place in US which I saw and most places in Canada and more than what I have seen in India. Last month my parents have been to North India trip which they planned and executed meticulously. As always, she didn't depend on her children to research, book hotels and packages through web and discover new places and am so proud of her :) This is something I want to emulate again :D

So my mom is not only about the motherly love but also about being a lifetime friend who grew with me, who molded an attitude for herself which I couldn't resist but follow. She has been my lifeline, my happiness has been directly proportional to her happiness and well being. Some people tried to tease me that am momma's boy without realizing that I take pride in being my momma's boy :)

Bujji, I know telling you that I love you is an understatement, but can't resist as there is no better phrase coined yet. Love you not just for being for me, but for being in me. Happy Mother's Day. As always, miss being with you !

PS: Festive season is soon going to start in my household

May 11 - My marriage anniversary
May 14 - My sister's marriage anniversary
May 16 - My parents' marriage anniversary

All set for varothsavalu :) and am looking forward to sharing more posts about my family in coming blog-posts. Get ready for the assault :D

"Sathya Sai Baba"- The Most Successful Man (?) Ever Born

Preface: I personally don't believe Sathya Sai Baba or any mythological / historical person is/was God. In this article, I've used the term "God" to refer those religious / mythological / historical figures.

Follow or not, believe or not, agree or not, Sathya Sai Baba remains one of the most influential and successful persons (???) ever born on this planet.

People who have some opinion on Sathya Sai Baba can be broadly categorized as:

• Those who believe in God and believe that Sathya Sai Baba is a God.
• Those who believe in God but don't believe that Sathya Sai Baba is a God.
• Those who don't believe in God and hence don't believe that Sathya Sai Baba is a God.

Those who believe in him quote innumerable anecdotes, fables and stories to prove his divinity. Those against him and rationalists show equal number of scientific reasonings, youtube links of his tricks, research studies to refute all his Godly powers. This tussle between believers and rationalists, faith and common sense, proof of divinity and trickery will never end in an agreement. The debate is here to stay.

But I'm amused at those second category of people who generally believe in the existence of God but deny that Sathya Sai Baba is a God.

If one believes in avatars like Rama, Krishna, Sai Baba or believes in messengers of God like Jesus, Mohammed whats stopping them from believing in Sathya Sai Baba ? 

All the above mentioned great figures lived on this planet at some point in the history. People who revere them today do that because their fathers and forefathers asked them to do so. Forefathers got the legacy of belief from their ancestors and so on. Generations passed in that faith, belief and hence nobody asks the question as to why belief in somebody.

Rama is treated as God because one Valmiki wrote great things about him in Ramayana, the epic which influenced generations of mankind to be good. Krishna is treated as a God because Veda Vyas wrote great things about him in Mahabharata, the epic and Bhagavad Gita the holy scripture for Hindus.

Shirdi Sai Baba is treated as kaliyuga daivam because his followers and devotees have passed on the faith to next generations through books, stories about his miracles, his love and passion towards humankind.

Jesus is revered as an incarnation of the God the son, the messenger and healer, Mohammed is treated as a messenger of God; This is because of the transfer of faith from person to person and generation to generation. As per historical and religious studies, all these revered souls who are today regarded with utmost belief and respect have done great favor to the humankind by upholding righteousness, preaching good, justice, love. 

But no devout Hindu or Muslim or Christian or any follower of a religion has ever seen or questioned or suspected the existence or miracles of God. Everybody follows a faith just because they were raised in such atmosphere or belief and faith. So if they can believe in the God recommended by others, why can't they believe in Sathya Sai Baba and his miracles blindly ?

Ain't believing in God, but suspecting Sathya Sai Baba tantamout to hypocrisy and double standards ?

If nobody has an iota of doubt about Lord Rama's turning a rock into an woman or Lord Krishna's demonstrating vishwaroopam, Shirdi Sai Baba's lighting lamps with water, Jesus' resurrection after crucification, Mohammed's revelations - Why is Sathya Sai Baba alone put under scanner to prove his divinity ? When he proclaims that he is an avatar or Shirdi Sai Baba, why can't they just accept it like they have been doing with other Gods without getting into logic, sense, rationality, reasoning ? Why this partiality towards Gods, huh :)

Coming back to my first sentence, Sathya Sai Baba is great for reasons known to many.

When he proclaimed he was a God, people instantly believed him, flocked to obtain his darshan and never gave a damn about any kind of disbelief as if they were waiting for his arrival. Now his follower base ranges from 6 million to 100 million. Who else can pull this off so successfully notwithstanding any hullabaloo from atheists, rationalists who bang their heads with proofs in their hands ?

His miracles are amateur and bland compared to those of PC Sorcors, David Copperfields; his oratory skills are below average, his teachings are not remarkably new or different from those of other saints or gurus, his knowledge in philosophy or religion was never demonstrated; he was a philanthropist but no other philanthropist is ever called "God" due to their social work. Yet, he has the confidence to declare that he is beyond all investigation, reason, comprehension, scrutiny or senses. Whoa !!! Who else can show-off such confidence.

I think twice to claim I'm good at what I'm good at but this man (???) could claim so much and nobody had a gut to take him off his pedestal from last 8 decades. Amazing and astonishing.

His trust worth officially some  4,00,00,00,00,000 (yes that's 40 thousand crore) is exempted from all taxes, records, transparency; his VIP devotee list would be longer than this blog-post itself; heads of nations, most powerful industrialists, richest and most successful people form a beeline to get his blessings. Astonishing

Despite building a wealthy empire, he was good enough as a philanthropist to share a part to people who believed in him. Though he didn't preach anything distinguishably new, he never incited his followers for his personal interests. May he RIP.

If he is indeed God, he is eternal beyond description for having spread the message of love to millions of his devotees and healing them all out of their distresses. If he was a fake, he is even greater for scripting and creating an aura for himself which brutally fooled millions of common, rich, powerful people for 8 decades.

Either ways, he lived a life Kingsize..err...Godsize !

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Trivia (silly stuff which you can skip) :D

1. I wrote my EAMCET exam in Sathya Sai school in DD Colony, Hyderabad. Invigilators used to say "Sai Ram" before they speak anything and everybody thought my friend Sai Ram was cheating in the exam. But he got disqualified despite the name and exam center :-S
2. I always feel AR Rahman looks so much like Sathya Sai Baba minus saffron robes and that hairdo :D