Why People Dislike Me !

I guess I'm lucky to have people who like me unconditionally for what I'm and who never see anything bad about me but I must admit there are equal number of people who are not really fond of me and who ran into some sort of strained relationships with me because of mutual discomfort. I'm writing this post to list down why I end up having problems with some people, what qualities in others I can't get along with and why some people don't like me.

First I present a list of qualities which I don't like in others and then another list of negative qualities in me which some people dislike :)

Usually if I don't like some quality in others which I don't like, I just ignore that and stop acknowledging the very behavior or sometimes the person himself/herself. But sometimes I can't escape when their behavior affects me directly. Here is the list of such irritating qualities I can't somehow tolerate:

• Harshness: I love soft-spoken people even if they talk tough with convictions and reasoning. But I so often face so called self proclaimed straight forward bums who talk harsh and call it being straight forward. I have written an article exclusively on this topic (Harsh Criticism)
• Backbiting: One of the reasons for my flaring temper. There are morons all over who can never take me on directly and hence resort to backbiting, hypocrisy, double crossing, faking and propaganda. Most of the cases, I stop acknowledging existence of such people.
• Me too syndrome: A rather funny and miserable set of souls. These people have sharper tongues than ears. They don't even wait for me to complete my sentence before saying "me too" and start bragging about themselves to prove they are more worthy or talented than I'm. Good if they are, but conversation with such people is often worthless and annoying.
• Exploitation: I don't mind people using me for their benefit. I don't even expect them to remember what they got out of me but there are certain section of people who try to take undue advantage and try to manipulate me to their tunes which I get livid with. This is something which I'm completely intolerant about.
• Loudmouths: I abhor loudmouths who always depend on their coarse and undignified behavior to prove their point. I don't see any point talking to such people and want to be away from all such menacing illogical brats.
• Scheming: Another set of morons who always see an opportunity to play dirty politics even when  not necessary.

As I mentioned earlier, I don't tend to acknowledge or react to most of such people whom I don't get along well with unless and until their behavior affects me directly. A previous write-up as how to deal with such negativity (Dealing with Negativity)

Now the big topic. Just like a coin which has two sides, there are qualities in me which people dislike, have problems with or sometimes simply hate. I don't mind putting these thoughts across the table :)

• Temperamental / moody: I'm called short-tempered and moody by quite a few people which is somewhat true. My mercury levels shoot up rapidly but I seldom express my anger and when I don't want others to get hurt, I just get silent, stop reacting to them which makes me look moody :)
• Arrogant: Lot of people said this including my mom :) May be I'm but I don't remember rubbing my arrogance on anybody or denigrating / belittling anybody. I just feel proud and good about myself but never speak derogatory about others. So my arrogance is harmless :)
• Argumentative: This strained my relationships with quite a few. Be it political, religious, economical, behavioral, managerial, professional, personal or any damn thing, I have an opinion on almost everything and I don't really follow something just because others say so and hence some people dislike me. But I never tried to appease this set of people :)
• Indisciplined: Serious charge but true. My wife hates this. I don't like going to bed before 3 am, don't like waking up before 10 am, don't like working from 9-5, my productive work starts after 10 pm, I never follow balanced diet or any regimens and disregard a lot of other social and moral ways of life which people usually associate with discipline. I somehow couldn't synchronize myself with some rules and have found an alternative to compensate every indiscipline.
• Show-off: Rather humorous allegation but I don't mind showing off something which I'm proud of. I usually show-off to people whom I love and who take pride in my success, possession and not to impress somebody who is not so important for me. So if somebody feels insecure about what I do, I try very less to make them feel comfortable :)
• Dominate: Some people allege that I dominate, but I never assert my authority or control over others, however close they could be. I just don't like others exercising any control over me and in that sense, I'm brutally independent, but don't believe in dominating anybody. This is a misconception which was brought to my notice a lot of times but I didn't know how to shed this image.
• Careless: Another quality which my mom always complains against me. Yes, I'm careless and negligent to lot of things, tasks, people though I don't always mean to. May be this is a manufacturing defect :)
• Bad at maintaining relationships: I guess this is my only negative quality that I'm shameful about. I'm worst at saving relationships despite seeing increasing gaps or drifting rapport. People mistake it as my ego, but I somehow am not good at saving relationships or friendships turning sour. I lost a lot of loved ones due to this one reason which I always repent.

There could be many more negative qualities in me, but these are few which I could narrow down after analyzing why some people dislike me. The reason for writing about these negative qualities is not to explain or convince anybody who doesn't like me, but to present my other side to those who like me so that they can decide if they still want to like me or not :D