Dear Bachchoos,
Since you are too young to understand big people stuff like wisdom and life, I'm writing this in a hope that someone would show this article to you when you grow if I'm not around. Generations evolve by gaining wisdom out of their parents' experience and it's my turn to tell you few things which I learnt it hard way, so that you don't make the same mistakes I did.
Never be complacent or too proud of yourself. There are many people more intelligent and successful than you who just don't show off. Behaving with vain and conceit is annoying. Always respect everybody younger, or those with lesser means, less educated or not as confident as you are because you never know inherent skills, exposure or talent of a certain person based on their appearance or behavior. Try to learn or find inspiration from each one of them and realize the world is too big and your life too small to be overconfident.
Since you are too young to understand big people stuff like wisdom and life, I'm writing this in a hope that someone would show this article to you when you grow if I'm not around. Generations evolve by gaining wisdom out of their parents' experience and it's my turn to tell you few things which I learnt it hard way, so that you don't make the same mistakes I did.
- Never get into revenge mode:
You would face many situations when you get angry, upset, outraged on others and your first reaction would be retaliation on the perpetrators. That's a bad idea because after you take your sweet revenge and look back, you would not have gained anything substantial for yourself except that insignificant sense of fake triumph. Rather try to channelize that anger, insult and outrage into ruthless passion and breach a new frontier. Every time I managed to do something, I used the anger in my mind as a fuel. Trust me, that works.
- You can't control others' impression about you
You can't cultivate or control an image about yourself. You must understand that as you grow leaps and bounds, you will attract hatred, criticism. In the world of internet to spread information and tools to edit almost anything, all it takes is a figment of imagination of your hater to slander, gossip or mud-sling at you without remorse. You can go only up to a certain level to defend or explain yourself and later you have to leave it at others' discretion. Negativity is attractive, can be spread faster, easier and can never be eliminated from people's minds even if you disprove everything. So my kids, the world is ruthless. Brace up !
- Avoid negative people
Even though some people don't hate you, they carry certain negative energy. If you have a means to resolve their temporary issues, go ahead. But if they are chronic complainers, whiners, pessimists, sympathy seekers and those who expect you to justify yourself all the time - AVOID THEM gradually. You are who you hang out with. The negativity rubs off to you making your life more miserable than it is. Instead if you talk to thinking people, nerds, innovators, those with high aims: trust me their positivity is infectious. The choice you have is a no brainer.
- Maturity is all about reacting to situations
People mellow down as they grow older not just because they get physically weaker but they begin choosing what to react and what not to. Teenagers or mid 20's kids tend to get hyper reactive because that's when they think the world is at their feet and they are invincible or because they aren't wary about consequences to their reactions. Understand that you are free to behave anyway you want but not free to avoid consequences of your deeds, words or to put it simple your reactions to situations. So react cautiously.
- Try to be innovators and entrepreneurs
The world saw very less of leaders and hordes of followers because most want security and make a living by working for others. I will try my best so you don't have to work for your livelihood. Dream high, so high that people around you ridicule and laugh at you first. Identify your passion, learn the craft and try to innovate or make a mark in the field not to gain appreciation of the world but to avoid any repentance during your last days. Zindagi milegi na dobara and I don't want you to waste this precious life of yours slogging in uninteresting jobs to make a living.
- Money is important
Yes, love is important but money is important too. Money gives you flexibility and luxury to love, live, make decisions, turning dreams to reality. People take you seriously when they know you have the ability to earn; not that you need anybody's approval but getting noticed by some people works for you (both personally and professionally). Always analyze how to turn your passion or hobby into a revenue model and then scale it up to greater heights. Saving money is as important as earning. Investing money so your money earns more money is the key you would want to learn early in your life.
- Health is more important than anything else
Even if money, love, success make one's life easy and happy, do you think one can enjoy those when they know they have a life threatening illness or an impending health hazard ? No money or clout in the world can save anybody from a health hazard and you need to keep yourself away from foods, habits, environment or situations within your control which could cause any kind of harm to you (physical or mental).
- Addictions start harmless
Every addiction has a harmless start. Your peers and friends would inspire, challenge or introduce something apparently adventurous but enjoyable addiction to you which you may think would be easy to control or regulate later. Once you strike a liking to that addiction, you'll only find excuses and reasons to go back to that and soon you'll see you don't control your craving anymore because your central nervous system would't work without that inducement. It could be smoking, alcohol, drugs, gambling, betting or any such vice. Self-control doesn't work once your nervous system takes shots. Beware.
- Express your love
If you like somebody, express that in your gestures, behavior and words in right context. Everybody in this world likes to be loved and when they reciprocate upon your expression, life would be happy. But at the same time, don't expect everybody you like to like you back. If they don't, respect their opinion and stop spending your energy and time on them, yet keeping that liking alive.
- Don't be a bully
Bullying others is easy. But every thug will have a bigger scoundrel harassing them. For everybody wielding a stick, there will be somebody with a knife, and above them will be somebody brandishing a gun who will be scared of a terrorist. Victimizing innocuous people to show off your power or clout will someday result in you being victimized by a bigger bully than you. Never ever get into that territory, it's not worth it.
- Don't argue for unnecessary beliefs
Throughout your life, you'll be surrounded by people believing in different political ideologies, religions, lifestyles and opinions. Come to terms that diversity is the way of the world and never get into arguments nor try to convince somebody about your points of view. After putting your efforts in winning an argument, what do you gain out of that ? NOTHING. So only argue when your personal life or money or relationships are at stake. For all other arguments, just be an audience with popcorn.
- Don't underestimate anybody
My Dear Son,
- My father taught how not to be a male-chauvinist by example and I hope to inspire you. So always understand that your girl(s) are not your property. You don't own them. You are not entitled enough to dictate terms to them. Love more than anything else conquers women.
- Be a responsible man. Girls may appear to be attracted to charming, funny, handsome boys, but they want to marry a man who can be responsible for her and her to-be kids. You must keep your girl secure first and if you are charming with good sense of humor, that's bonus.
My Dear Daughter,
- You don't have to live with a feeling that you need protection from somebody else. I will raise you a strong girl who could take her decisions, stand by her ideals just like your mother. Also you don't have to comply with the society's demands of how girls should behave or dress as long as you have clarity and sense of thought.
- We all come from a school of thought that men and women are equal in every way and we call it egalitarianism, and not feminism. Hope you grow wise enough to understand the difference. Hate-mongering or prejudice of any kind is a big NO.
- Try to cultivate three hobbies - one to earn money, second to keep your creativity alive and third to keep yourself fit and free of unwanted fat.
- To achieve anything maintain consistency and discipline. Many people dream high and start well, but lack of consistency is the difference between achievers and random day dreamers.
- Fast decision making makes strong leaders. And know how to learn from your bad decisions.
- Don't let others dictate if you should be confident or not. Don't let others opinion affect your confidence
Each pointer I wrote in this post was addressed elaborately in one of the articles written and published by me earlier in this blog. I will keep writing more until I'm physically and mentally sane and sound so that you have my thoughts, ideas, words, guidance, presence around you beyond my existence.
PS: I love you both more than anything in this universe. Hope you know your father always stands like a wall behind you. Whenever you face any hardship, take it for granted that I will always be around guiding you how to handle but I want you to develop skills and attitude where you don't need my guidance.
