Society Encouraging Rapists !!!

One day during my engineering days, I tried to discourage my classmate from passing uncharitable comments to a girl who was sitting along with her boyfriend at our college bus-stop. But his answer to me was shocking. He defended himself that he would be guilty if he disturbed them at any private place, but since it was public, he had all rights to say whatever he could as he had a right / freedom of speech !!!! Appalling to the T.

Recent outrage about a 23 year old medico being raped, beaten and assaulted brutally in Delhi is well-known. After raped by 5 bastards, an iron rod was inserted into her rupturing her intestines and other parts. She is struggling for life after multiple surgeries but even if she survives, she can never live a normal or married life, she should be fed through intravenous methods for life. Close on the heels, a 8 year old girl was raped and murdered in Bihar, another 8 year old was raped by minors, earlier this month, a girl was repeatedly raped by father, brother, cousins in Kerala. There are many more cases which don't even come to the media front. Disgusting, blood boiling and rabble rousing to the point beyond belief and control.

And the worst part is that in every rape or sexual assault case, victims are blamed for enticing perverts. The ways of justifying heinous behavior are incredible. Some say girls should avoid wearing jeans, western outfits, others say sarees are too revealing. Skirts, t-shirts, sleeveless tops everything gave reasons to those bastards. Khap panchayats and village elders banned women from using cellphones. Some "wise" men held bollywood movies and also consuming chowmein responsible for rape cases. Worst excuses being voluptuous female mannequins at cloth stores, naked stray cows in the vicinity. I wonder if any man's dick is so sensitive to get insensitive towards women's fundamental respect ?

Even Delhi CM suggested that women should not be adventurous. In the recent much talked about case, there were suggestions that the girl should not have traveled late night, should not have had a boy along with her and crap. Diktats and fatwas were issued to control woman from almost every fundamental right regardless of religion and social strata. Before dealing with criminals, it's more important to take these buggers who advocate and lay code of conduct to women to task. They ask women not to get raped, instead of chastising those who rape. Sick !

Reasons for rape, sexual assault, eve teasing are not just sexual desire or attraction. It's a mental disorder which is triggered by violence, sadism, insensitivity, inferiority complex, animal instinct and mere recklessness that they can get away with anything. And they are expectedly encouraged by inefficient laws, male chauvinism and norms of society.

It's time for quick justice because justice delayed is justice denied. There are hundreds of pending rape cases without any conviction, thousands of unreported cases of rape, assault, eve teasing, mental and physical harassment across all sections of society. In India, every 20 minutes, a girl is assaulted or raped somewhere.

It's time the outrage is channelized and put to work. Everybody in the society MUST understand and realize that women NEED NOT follow any code of conduct to be safe. Dressing, attitude, time of the day, looks of a girl should not provide an excuse to beasts to carry dicks on their sleeves. They MUST understand that manliness and "mardhangi" don't lie in victimizing women but chivalry is something which can make them more macho.

I'm not sure if every convict should be sentenced capital punishment, but perpetrators of the Delhi gangrape case must be hanged in public, and if that's not possible their private parts must be axed in public view. Whatever is done in this case would and should be a catalyst to change the society and all criminals should think of consequences before gazing a woman with perverted looks.

PS: I still don't understand what kind of pleasure does any man get from forcing and raping a woman who cries, fights, struggles and begs for mercy.

Related post: Do women deserve special attention ?

Bucket List - As of Mayan Apocalypse 2012

It's already Dec 19, 2012 and the world is supposed to end in another couple of days as per Mayan calendar; If we keep all logic, reasoning, rationalism beside, it's fun to be prepared for the doomsday and recollect, remember all those unfulfilled wishes without experiencing which, we may pass away.

Here is the list of those unfulfilled wishes, I would've wanted to achieve, experience or see before I die;

My Bucket List:

1. Base jump from the waterfall cliff. I was so excited to see videos of base jump from the cliff of Angel Falls that I always dreamt of doing one, but sadly couldn't even find a right time and opportunity for bungee.
2. Visiting Iguazu Falls on the border of Brazil and Argentina. We almost planned for the trip but had to call off due to other developments.
3. A trip with my parents and entire family. A cruise trip to Bahamas / Alaska or train trip in continental Europe.
4. Participating in an active political campaign on a national level (either in India or Canada). I have nurtured an undying passion for psephology and implementation of marketing in politics.
5. Making a presentation / talk on TED conference. My favorite topic would be international business leadership or strategic management. But first I should work to deserve an invite from TED
6. Presenting a 2 hour guest lecture at IPE (where I've done my MBA). I was in awe of guests speakers who presented their success stories. I dreamt of taking over the podium someday. I just wish I reach the stage wherein I can narrate my story to budding managers.
7. Establishing operational offices of my venture in all continents of the globe (except Antarctica, of course).
8. Owning a reasonably comfortable independent house with front lawn, backyard, all amenities in Hyderabad.
9. Training, nurturing and guiding atleast 5 passionate youngsters into services or knowledge based entrepreneurship. This is my idea of social contribution by creation of wealth, jobs through knowledge as investment.
10. Having my own little angel girl and seeing her play with my bunty boy. 

Gun culture & Gang culture of USA

The shooting incident in Connecticut was spine-chilling and devastating to the core. Innocent kids of ages 5 - 10 who went to school like they do daily had to end their lives just because some insane mofo had access to guns and he could run amok. Just a fleeting thought about victims' parents and families has been heart breaking. Who could've thought that their bundles of joy who go to school return as lifeless corpses for no mistake of theirs. Awful, devastating and disgusting to the core.

Random shootouts like these are not very rare even in the recent past of United States, thanks to the so called gun culture. People who went to places of worship, shopping malls, cinema theaters proved to be vulnerable too and to be brutally honest, a common American resident faces the danger of getting knocked down by any random guy in their own neighborhood or even worse, at their doorstep while American government is busy waging "War on Terror" on foreign lands.

After yesterday's disturbing incident, I browsed through twitter to find some shocking statistics and facts. Every year some 8.5 million guns would be released onto American streets (yes - streets; not any military or law enforcement agencies) and this year, the number rose to 20 fucking million guns. These could be purchased from any retail gun store (can you believe it ?) which are almost as many as gas stations in US. And the worst part, anybody with no criminal record or no proven mental instability can go, pay money and buy any number of guns and start their antics.

Gun culture has been synonymous to American culture for centuries, which in itself it a contradiction considering American inclination towards personal liberty, human rights. But basic human rights which included right to possess guns and firearms has been a perfect recipe for lawlessness which is displaying its fangs.

Unites States is infested with gang culture which is much worse, more dangerous than underbellies of most other countries. The fact that there are some 30,000 organized crime gangs across America with millions of violent members will bolster the seething and restless truth that life in America has always been at the mercy of these millions of gangsters, anti-social elements who have access to those millions of guns available just like other groceries.

Many know New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago for their sprawling infrastructure and magnificent skyscrapers, but underbellies and crime ghettos flourished in these three cities and expanded elsewhere later on. LA is gang capital of America with areas which are even police and administration proof. Gangs like Crips, Bloods literally rule the city. NYC is completely under control of 5 families of Italian mafia, east coast under Irish mobs, southern states are epitomes of crime since forever. And there are Mexican drug cartels to add to woes. Remember, every one of these millions of buggers has gun(s) with them.

Just when we think these mobs and gangs don't meddle in the day to day life of common American, there are racial hate crimes like what happened in Sikh temple in Wisconsin. Racial discrimination which was more on blacks earlier, now is on every non-white person, especially if they are (or look like) Muslims / Arabs / South Asians. A visible minority may feel safe in coastal states but once they venture into central America, mid-west, he/she is more vulnerable to racial hate crimes as there are ubiquitous closet KKK (Ku Kluax Klan or something like that) members who are violent pioneers and advocates of white supremacy. Close on the heels are Aryan brotherhood members.

Urban neighborhoods around NYC, Jersey City and other places are always on the patrol of muggers who don't mind shooting a round or two to rob few bucks. Southern western areas are infested with lawless gun fighters and cowboys who remind you of John Wayne, Clint Eastwood kind of spaghetti western flicks. Again remember, everybody is a possible proud owner of a gun.

As if this is not enough, minorities established their respective gangs to "defend" themselves against atrocities (on paper), but gangs with guns don't stop at defending themselves. Now there are Chinese mobs, Japanese mobs et al. All these mobs, gangs, cartels, mafia are involved in fight for supremacy, turf, power. Everybody is involved in murders, extortion, trafficking, crime.

If none of these seem to be potential dangers, then think about agitated, frustrated youngsters / adolescents, mentally unstable or hyper youth and those who live on glorified gangster based movies which indirectly encourage them to be gangsters themselves to live a king size life. Just think how dangerous the situation would be if those idiots get hold of guns. Just think about that !

American gun culture and gang culture has been, to some extent, glorified by movies, urban legends and even online games like Mafia Wars. Movies woven around guns and gangs always portrayed desperadoes and outlaws as heroic and tough. This could have created wannabes who idolized gangsters, tried to be one while the society provided them ample scope to acquire and brandish guns. The Godfather trilogy needs no introduction but Martin Scorsese has always been a master story teller and glorify-er of gangsters; be it Italian mafia in Goodfellas, old age gangs in The Gangs of New York, Irish Mob in The departed. Quentin Tarantino glorified American street violence like never before. Other hard hitting movies like Training Day, Street Kings, The Untouchables, Scarface etc too presented a larger than life picture of Dons, mobsters and gangsters

With society proliferated by gangsters, glorified by such popular culture, high drop-out rates, lose post-adolescent family ties, scope to get frustrated, dangerously abetted by loose gun laws - American society is on the brink of wide spread terror on streets, unless Obama administration identifies the immediate need to cure, prevent and quarantine all possibilities leading to social anarchy.

So my dear American resident, be wary when you go out !

Why 2012 is special for me !

2012, for me, will be an year to remember, cherish and treasure forever in my life. My personal life, social life, professional life - all went through a 180 degree overhaul and I was too busy experiencing life in it's real terms. The year started with never before anticipation of yet-to-be-born, then the big event - birth of my son, then immersing myself in and being in a trance / ecstasy called fatherhood. No one could ever explain the joy of having a baby and neither can I. It's only to be experienced and felt.

When a little man, who is born with my blood, genes and love looks into my eyes, smiles and stretches his hands asking me to take him in my arms - I feel I have the entire world in my hands. Every moment I spent with my son has been special for me and I just wish he remains in my arms forever..Love has a new definition for me now.

Another important milestone for me and my wife was that we completed our 5 years of journey together. 5 years of marriage, togetherness, sharing, caring and love. I have seen the metamorphosis of the feeling called love and care. Earlier it was sweet nothings, longing to meet, talk, spend time together. But as the marital life progressed, we realized that love is much more than that, it's growing old together, learning from each other, sharing each other's good times, shielding each other from bad times, being an unflinching support to each other, being a shoulder to lean on, taking pride in each other, being happy just because the other person is happy, experiencing minute gestures which needed no words - that's marital life and IT HAS BEEN FAB.

She is one person who has been extremely proud of me and always felt I'm the best in the way I'm. The definition of successful marriage is that both husband and wife should feel they got the best person in the world as their life partner. I believe we both feel so. Touch wood !

Another reason to treasure 2012: Since my wedding in 2007 till 2011, I have spent not more than a couple of months with my parents. But 2012 brought me ample chance to be with my parents for over 6 months and I'm not sure if I spent so much time with them exclusively even before my wedding. 2 months in India, 4 months in Canada  - totally with them around gave a breath of fresh air to my life, they took off so much pressure off me, showered that unconditional love towards us and apple of their eyes, their grandson. 6 months with in-laws has been such a relief as we had time to pick ourselves together to take care of the baby. Feb-Nov has been a life support for us with my parents or in-laws or both strongly holding us together.

India trip this year has been marvelous. Spending 2 months back home is luxury for most and thankfully we could get the most of it. Being with family of-course has been a pampering, spoiling affair, but meeting cousins and loved ones whom we haven't met since a long time or haven't met at all in few instances was memorable. The affection being showered is something which I could not forget or reciprocate enough.

Another big reason why I treasure 2012 is turn of events in my professional life. The day I landed in Canada in 2007, I made a promise to myself that I would make a mark in this new country where nobody knew me. All the life I spent in India, successes and failures were void then as I was going to start a new journey with new society, new set of people, new situations. Nobody in Canada had an inkling of who I was and what I was capable / incapable of.

SCL - these three letters carry utmost significance to my life in general and professional life in particular. That's the company which played a sheet anchor for me to reinvent myself, provided me an opportunity to prove my mettle, create a brand of myself. For the next 5 years I was a part of the enterprise, witnessed ups, downs, experienced the heat and benefits of entrepreneurship. This is a company which made me realize my forte, my dreams. I attribute the respect, image, status, success I experience today to SCL.

SCL for me was not just a profession. I loved my work and it's special because in earlier work-places I worked only because I felt it's my responsibility to deliver just because they were paying me. But with SCL, it's more of an emotional connect and I was motivated enough to put my blood and sweat, if I'm allowed this metaphor. My success was directly proportional to company's success and hence I was obsessive; days or nights didn't matter. Success did !

But every good thing has to come to an end and so did my fruitful association with SCL exactly after 5 years. 5 years is a long enough period in anybody's life and I take the baggage of all good memories with me. Cherish and respect forever !

My first independent entrepreneurship - CurveIT Consulting Inc (Canada) (www.curveitconsulting.com) has taken it's flight.

Golden rule of entrepreneurship: If you are good at something or if you have a dream, do it with passion and do it for yourself because if you do it for yourself, you will put in more than 100% of effort, and if it's your dream, the effort you put in would not look painful. I've believed and implemented this rule to the T.

Management consulting, public relations, advertising, branding - these are my favorite areas and pet ideas since MBA days; business analysis, program management are my areas of expertise; communication, mentoring, writing are my hobbies and forte that I've realized lately. I've mixed my interests, expertise, forte supported by my knowledge, education, soft skills, confidence, conviction, raw courage to see my dream taking shape.

Money is the last thing I started this venture for. The feeling that I'm doing what I like and I've turned my interest into business gives me that adrenalin rush. I could not have afforded to repent at later point of time that I spent a lifetime working in afield I don't like just to make few bucks.

Summing up - 2012 - has been a fabulous year with birth of my son, my entrepreneurial venture; gave me more family time, showered me more love, affection. I could not ask for more. Only aspects I missed were my social life, blogging, social media life and traveling. Now stepping into 2013 in anticipation of more love, more success, more happiness, more fun, more travels, stronger relationships and everything superlatively positive. Wish you all the same too. Love !

Daddy's Diaries - 2

Ever since my son entered our lives exactly 4 months ago, my life ceased to be the same. Now, I wake up in the morning to see his giggles; I defer my plans to see what dress he wears every day after shower, I wait patiently while he's been fed so I could take him in my arms, I aim to return from work early with a hope that he would recognize me and flashes a big smile as he always does; I wait for his playtime to take his videos, capture pictures, play with him with his favorite stuffed toys, look forward to hug him tight when he retires to bed and see his innocence once he slips into slumber. Life has been kind to me !

Before he was born, I used to get mad at all curious "elders" who wondered why weren't we planning for babies. I was clearly not ready as I was scared of losing personal space and "enjoyment". But it took us parents' concern, well-wishers' advices and society's "suspicions" to go for the big change. Looking back, I wonder, what enjoyment was I clinging to when the biggest enjoyment of life is through a little somebody who looks at me, smiles endearingly, holds my finger with his cutesy hands, tries to put it in his mouth :)

I knew a lot of doting mommies and daddies who never got tired of narrating anecdotes of their little ones' acts with unflinching enthusiasm; I thought I would never do that in order to spare my single or uninterested friends; I've been trying to maintain that but its so damn hard. How can anybody contain splurge of emotions, tsunami of happiness without sharing with their loved ones. Damn ! Respect to all those parents and I promise hereafter I would listen to all those stories with matching enthu...take my word !

Whenever I'm low, I just have to hold Bunty's hands and kiss on his cheek, he will scream with joy, always (and so will I); when he cries, I just have to take him into arms and show his favorite "Simba" soft toy, he instantly chuckles (but sometimes cries because simba didn't take him into its arms); he gets ecstatic when anybody hugs him tightly and kisses his cheek; he loves standing on his tiny feet when held and also takes baby steps on his parents and grand parents; he attentively listens to music and believes his mommy or papa were singing the song; makes faces after eating sour baby-food, poses to camera very well, enjoys drives but grunts when the car had to be stopped at traffic lights, enjoys evening strolls so that he could watch trees and squirrels; loves talking, loves company, loves display of affection....I can go on and on..

It's always heard, read that parents' love is supreme over everything else in the world. I'm experiencing that now. We tend to expect, if not demand, our parents, partners, friends, relatives etc to behave or respond to us in a certain way otherwise it affects the equation, which means those relationships are conditional to an extent. The only love which is and can be unconditional is parents' love towards children as parents turn, change, steer their lives and lifestyles so that their children are happy and comfortable. Now when I'm a dad and doing all this, this ain't sacrifice or anything noble, it's just my selfishness to see my son happy because his happiness automatically tunes happiness in me. That's love and that's a miracle. I'm experiencing the MIRACLE.

I beam with pride whenever a fleeting stranger compliments him as a handsome boy, feel so complete when he stops crying when I touch him. His confidence in my touch and care makes me feel like the strongest person on the planet. His mere presence in my life made me more matured, mellowed, responsible, secure and proud. He's 4 months old today.

I love / adore him is an understatement. Words can't always translate emotions. Wish my baby grows fast, interacts more so that his papa can show him his love, as he is left with no more words now. Can't wait, my boy !

Last 6 Months: Bliss with FAMILY

Last six months have made me undergo a complete paradigm shift in more than one ways. End of January saw me experiencing never before anxiety and anticipation because of many reasons. First because we (wifey and I) saw ultrasound pics of our baby, knew the gender, were planning for India visit after more than 3 years.We reached India on Feb 7th for a 2 month break.

India trip was hectic to the core. The first week was spent in recovering from jet-lag, preparations for baby shower ceremony scheduled within a week of arrival. Baby shower ceremony was the first event in our household (in India) after my marriage in 2007 and hence it was (is) extra special. I wanted the event to be memorable and thankfully it remained so for us, thanks to the well planned management by parents and good wishes of loved ones.

Next 45 days was a roller-coaster ride. Though I was prepared to experience culture shock, I was mildly disturbed by deteriorating respect for rules by the general public, increasing insecurity caused due to lot of negative factors. Things were not that bad some 5 years ago. But may be I should not comment when I can't do much about it. Also NRI's visiting India should come to terms that people out there are busy and those who were extremely lovable earlier could turn indifferent due to changes in lifestyles, priorities, complexes...That's life. We have to move on :)

But all these lows are more than compensated by family's love and their constant effort to keep me happy throughout. They are family after all, enough said :) they spoiled me badly with all they could pamper. And there were few friends, relatives who felt really happy to spend some quality time with me. Parties, functions, get togethers were much treasured. I cherish the India visit for one more reason - meeting few loved ones whom I only spoke with on web or voice earlier. Transforming virtual relationship into real one only added to more happiness, bonding which only grew thereafter. Two months passed leaving me asking for more. As said, no vacation is too long. We started back but the biggest solace was that my parents were accompanying us for Canada :)

We arrived to Canada on April 7th and since then we could hardly think or talk anything else not related to newborn-to-be. Next one month flew like a lightening with rendezvous with sister's family, visit to Pittsburgh, Niagara Falls and anticipation, anxiety about the baby-to-be. May 7, 2012 happened to be the eventful day when my baby entered into my life and my life ceased to be the same. Now I don't even remember how my life was before that little one shifted gears of my life :)

Last 3 months went with so much activity with my parents, in-laws around. Saharsh (Bunty - as we call our baby fondly) has been very lucky to have so much undivided attention, love, care from grand parents, parents, aunts who love him more than themselves. Every day we all woke up to see him smile, returned home with a hope to take him in our arms, tuned the way we live to keep him the happiest.

Personally my social life was reduced in priority to an extent while I was so busy basking in the luxury of spending as much time with my baby, parents, wife, in-laws that I felt everything else MUST take backseat. I can unassumingly claim this to be the best phase of my life till date, but in the same breath should confess that I have been away from those who love to connect with me through blogs, FB, chats and other modes. Thanks and love to all those who have understood and been patiently waiting for me. I promise to get back and reconnect with them shortly.

For the last 6 months, I've been in the company of my parents and I subconsciously gained huge confidence and security levels. The longer I stay with them, the lesser I think about myself - and hence they are my de facto support system. Though I'm supposed to be old enough to be independent and stronger, today I feel weak in the knees and my heart already started melting because my parents are returning to India today. I don't think the departure will be easy, but I have to put a brave face.

I'm sure the baby is gonna miss his grandma's cuddles and grandpa's stories which he seems to enjoy endlessly. I so wish he realizes how lucky he's been all this while and what is he gonna miss from tomorrow. The nicer thing about the last 2 months was that the entire family (parents, in laws, us) was under one roof and hence more time to know or get closer to each other. When my in-laws said they would miss my parents hereafter, it shows the bond for sure. For my wife, my parents saw her through her pre-pregnancy diet, household chores, childbirth labour, post partum blues and baby care. So she is gonna miss them as much as I or baby do.

We can't thank my parents for what they did because it would be silly and stupid, we can't stop them from going back because they have to move on in their lives. We can just say we love them as much as we love ourselves. Now we only wish that Bunty baby does some magic and pulls his grand parents to settle with us for good. Fingers crossed !

Daddy's Diaries - 1

Ever since my bachpan I always wondered why people (in movies and real world as well) get ecstatic, excited when a little one is born. It took over 2 days to come to terms, sink in a feeling that I became a dad and that a certain little man arrived into this world taking my blood, genes and life into him. Aahhh !

It took me 32 years to understand what it takes to feel the world in your arms. That cosy embrace from a 2-day-old who looks into your eyes as if he's saying "I trust you, dad" - beats the biggest happiness and richest luxury. That's just worth a lifetime of waiting.

Since the time my wife got pregnant, we and the entire family were curious about how he would look, behave, whose looks and features he would inherit and we were desperate to skip few weeks to see the baby ourselves, if possible. May be the little one heard our inner voices, he didn't wait for too long as if he was prepared to get into our world of joy asap. May 07, 2012 - a day I can never take off my mind hereafter is the eventful day which arrived much in advance than the scheduled day. We rushed to hospital at 4:30 am and had our baby before our eyes at 9:44 pm.

The moment the little one arrived, we both went blank, we could neither think or feel anything. Hema didn't say a word for 15 mins as she was in trance and I didn't know what to say or how to react. It took an entire battery of doctors, nurses, staff congratulating us and few drops of tears to shrug off the statue mode to meet our destiny.

Honestly, that day I was happier and relieved that my wife came out of the process unscathed. Though I know every woman goes through this pain to deliver a baby, I had a tough time seeing my wife go through that hardship. I'm not a hospital person but here I was made to hold my wife and assist in delivering a baby in the birthing suite. Man, that was not easy, but it made me realize what a woman goes through to bring happiness into the family. Internet sources say that a human body can bear only upto 45 Del (unit) of pain but at the time of childbirth, a woman feels upto 57 Del of pain which is similar to 20 bones getting fractured at a time. My wife experienced this pain without any epidural or pain killer.

After her months of pregnancy, controlled diet, weight issues, and many common fetus / baby related precautions, measures, medicines and finally this childbirth trauma, I'm here reaping the benefits :) Now I began to love, respect my wife and mother even more. I don't think they can ask for a better gift on Mother's day which is around the corner :)

My dad was beaming with pride that somebody was here to take his lineage on :) and my mom who was with me in the labor room for a while was uncontrollably ecstatic at the first sight of her grand-son. They both helped me shift gears from labor-room stress to childbirth excitement. My in-laws, sister were sounding overwhelmingly happy and desperate to see the baby. But I didn't dare to take my son into arms as yet.

As of then calls, messages, best wishes started pouring in from all ends but I was unable to come out to normalcy by then. The hospital staff who were cordial, caring and very polite comforted me and my wife with their genuine glee. They had the policy to address newborn's parents as mom and dad and some 10-20 people among the staff addressed me as "dad" which rather helped me stand on my feet and accept the pleasant reality that YAYYYYY, I'M A DAD ! The kind of treatment (both medical and human) by the hospital staff was so congenial that we felt completely at home and we're glad that our boy's born there among positive vibes. Will be thankful to them, forever for whatever they have done to us.

The next day was a bit different as I woke up from a slumber and realized what my priority should be - yes, my baby, my son ! Everytime I saw him move, cry, yawn, sneeze, frown (which he's now popular for) - some unknown spark was passing through me. I simply can't explain that in words.

Last night (a couple of hours ago), a nurse helped me in holding the baby.....Initially I wanted to hold only for few minutes till he cries for milk or something. As soon as he came into my arms, he opened his eyes wide and sported an expression as if he understood everything I spoke. I had been speaking to him when he was in his mommy dearest tummy. May be he recognized the ever familiar voice (or may be that's what I feel to keep myself happy :)). I SPOKE TO HIM FOR 45 MINS FLAT and he listened to me with eyes wide open, looking into my eyes with frowns, expressions and mouth agape. All that I told him was how much I waited for that moment, how much he meant to me, what were the moments I was waiting for in future, what should he call me and ended the conversation with a couple of lullabies after which he promptly slipped into sleep :)

Now the feeling sunk in, the bonding started. In hardly 48 hours, I felt mellowed down and the world started looking much more beautiful, happening and exciting. It was not just a childbirth but also birth of a dad. And the baby better know that his dad can do any damn thing to keep his life happy...and I meant ANYTHING. As of now, I'm waiting to change his diapers, feed him, comfort him when he cries, take him for evening strolls and make myself his addiction and him mine.

Incidentally tomorrow (May 11th) is our 5th marriage anniversary and we were earlier planning for something big, but now something so big happened that everything needs to just wait :D We don't need a bigger gift for our anniversary, my wife can't ask for a better way to celebrate her first ever mother's day on May 13th. My sister's anniversary (May 14th) and parents' anniversary (May 16th) are now more special thanks to Mr. Little Someone.

Last but not the least, I felt overwhelmed with the kind of best wishes and greetings I received from loved ones who visited us in the hospital, wished us on phone, email, text messages, facebook and other media. I believe the positive vibrations and cheerful glee brought by such genuine and affectionate wishes make our happy moments even more special. I promise I'll reply to each one of them and will share pictures of the baby very soon. Since it was an early birth, doctors suggested us to keep the baby under observation for few days. We are waiting for that observation period to end to take good pictures. But let me tell you there are polarized opinions about whom he looks more like :)

Regarding the name, we again have polarized opinions but we're sure, we'll reach to a unanimous choice by this mother's day and his mom will announce the name. Thanks to all those who showed interest in knowing his name but a 2-day wait won't be too long :)

Finally, a request to all my well-wishers, friends, family, cousins and loved ones: please bestow your blessings on our little one that he should lead a very happy, successful, lovable life ahead; he needs those blessings for a peaceful life and to ward off all buri nazar without trace; and also wish me and my wife a very good luck in this new journey. Your good wishes and blessings mean a lot.

With Love

Love Affair Life Cycle

After writing a couple of posts on this subject, I didn't want to delve more or be a cynic especially when I myself am a product of love marriage; but decided to pen down some thoughts based on experiences of those whom I've seen from close quarters. My previous articles on the topic were:

• Love Marriage vs Arranged Marriage
• Love, Pyar, Prema etc

Parents are getting more liberal and progressive these days and we see lot more cases of love marriages than earlier generations or even a decade ago. That may be a good sign from one point of view but that means youngsters are completely given charge of THE most important decision of their lives at the age when they are not always ready or matured to take one.

18-25 is a really tricky age when one falls in love with almost every good looking / attractive or interesting person of the opposite sex because everybody is subconsciously looking for a prospective life partner. On the other hand everybody is subconsciously trying to impress those of opposite sex by projecting their best side, or sometimes an artificial or made up persona (again with or without their own knowledge). So it's quite a confusing situation.

Boys naturally get attracted to beautiful, charming, sexy, talkative girls who elevate their status in their circles. Girls get attracted to handsome, humorous, interesting, charming, romantic guys who can provide them some security. That's quite natural

When a boy and a girl start talking to and liking each other (due to factors mentioned above), they will have a lot to talk, share, discuss, express for a period of time. This is when they spend hours together on phone calls, instant messages, text messages day and night. That's really a beautiful phase of any relationship.This is when "love" blossoms because they find each other very interesting, enterprising and engaging enough to spend the rest of their lives. The problem exists in the fact that nobody realizes that's a temporary phase because no couple can talk or share things like that forever. The aura or utopia vanishes in an year, sometimes even months or even worse, in some cases days. This is the period when a lot of couples get committed for marriage or a long term relationship. That's what they call love and also convince themselves that they know a lot about the other person and hence it's not infatuation anymore. That's when they get into some kind of intimate moments or physical relationships.

But after the cloud of interesting phase passes away, comes a phase of strange silence, longing for those golden days, dearth of interesting topics to talk about, lack of time for each other. This is the phase where the bogeyman called "possessiveness" creeps in. This is when boy and girl start fighting and cribbing over some "extra-attention" she/he gives to other boys/girls. Things start to change. Restrictions, instructions, follow-ups on each other take place of sweet-nothings. Worse if arguments about family customs, conflicts in backgrounds, fear of mental, emotional and social adjustments post marriage take center stage. In short, it would be "mini-hell".

A lot of couples break-up in this phase and find solace in other people who try to get them out of their bad phase. Some people stay in relationships just because they don't want to hurt their partners or don't want to be selfish or even worse don't want to treat "love" as a business - without realizing that these foolishly romantic lines will ruin two lives and families one day. And those out of bad relationships would feel like free birds :) Thus love affair life cycle ends. But if the couple really falls in love with each other, this phase too would be a temporary one and they can lead a happy and beautiful life forever because their real love starts just here notwithstanding all earlier sugar-coated conversations, spending hours on phone etc.

This quite often happens in arranged marriages as well. Couple brought into arranged relationship by their parents too will go through the utopia phase of colorful thoughts, sweet nothings, flowery conversations which will end at some point, but they come to terms with the next phase because they know they are tied by social norms and hence secondary thoughts don't even creep into their minds.

I personally know people who jumped into commitments because they like the way other person talks or behaves or looks like and then struggle through the next phase of converting love into marriage or marriage into love, and sometimes it's too late for them to back-off. A relationship which begins on the basis of superficial, artificial, unimportant or temporary factors will result in a bitter end or a bad marriage. Its good such relationships remain as crushes or infatuations forever.