I'm in my 40's now and looking back life had been a rollercoaster ride and I'm sure next few years is going to be a wilder ride. But this silent morning, I was ruminating on how my attitude and way I think changed over years from my 20's to 30's and now 40's.
I laugh at my own younger self (of around early 20's) when I used to sneer and dismiss people in 40's as outdated oldies with paunch bellies, bald heads, always gloomy and lifeless. I'm sure other 20 year old kids must be talking about me the same way now and that's part of life.
I thought I would jolt down how I changed through years to be what I am today
20- 25: Immaturity & Indiscipline
Like anybody else, this was a transition phase from education to work, basking in newfound freedom, female attention and attraction, new earnings but still uncertain about future, unstable in behavior, wild and raw testosterone running the life.
I was too immature not to uphold human relationships. I never had a heart-break but lost many friends because I took people for granted. I was ambitious but was also too lazy and clueless to pursue the dreams. I thought world was unfair to my talent without introspecting what value did I add to the society around me. I had dreams to make it big but lacked the drive, detailed plans, execution, consistency and discipline required to make it big.
When I see other 20 year old's now, I so wish to tell them how underrated but essential are discipline and consistency but I refrain myself from preaching because I hated when someone sermonized me when I was young.
25-30: Stability & Learning
For me, this phase marked my marriage, immigration to a foreign land, purchasing the first house and many more firsts.
After recently getting married, I was in my own blissful world but I was surrounded by relatively more stable, richer, wiser people who had some mission, execution plan and some infectious discipline. They knew how to raise families, had connections and suddenly I feared I was missing out on something as I was nothing like them. And I had a wife who trusted me and we had dreams about our future kids.
I understood that my dreams and aspirations were too bookish and theoretical to pursue and no point wasting time on that. Rather I identified what I was good at and started building brick by brick, wall by wall. Long things short, things started falling in place when I put relentless efforts in planning, working, failing, rising and soaking myself in the opportunities spending 18 hours a day for months together.
This is an essential phase of everyone's life as their entire lifetime of success or failure depends on how they transition from youth to adulthood.
30-35: Arrogance & Conceit
Usually 30-35 is a nasty age for many as that phase marks a bit of success, bank balance; by then they would have seen a bit of a world, faced some situations, started living on their own terms and relatively wiser than kids of 20's. That situation brings a strange confidence and mild arrogance in most people. They feel they know how the world functions and they are invincible. And I was no exception.
By then I was relatively more successful than most others and naturally some appreciation came my way which I took to head and had delusions of grandeur. If I meet that version of myself now, I would hit the day lights out of him because those are the exact kind of people I dislike now.
Things slowly started spiraling downwards in terms of business. There was an uneasy consistency and lack of growth like earlier years. I would have continued living in denial if we did not have our baby girl's arrival then. Dad's instincts kicked in and I had to stop believing I was a superhero.
35-40: Reinvention & Reality Check
There was an imminent need to reinvent myself and I had to do what I did in my late 20's - surrounding myself with sharper brains with bigger ambitions. When I attempted GMAT, I had no hopes on Harvard or Stanford but my entrepreneurial experience came handy and I was accepted by both universities for different programs. I incidentally got accepted into PhD program too; suddenly I was surrounded by a different world now.
I met so many young guys who were 100 times more intelligent, sharper, sorted out than I was and I suddenly felt like a fish out of water. With some mediocre bank balance, I was so conceited while these kids were up to the change the world and not take themselves seriously at all. That was the hardest slap I deserved.
Those 3-4 years made me unlearn everything I knew, restructure my life and that's when I realized we could do more with our life and time. Automatically things started falling back in place when I learnt how to diversify my efforts into multiple streams and utilize my time more wisely. I transitioned to a phase when earning money did not matter more than creating value.
With this paradigm shift, things changed for me socially too. I did not put any efforts but people started liking me more and this time I was clear that I must not take them for granted or their appreciation too seriously. I could not afford to make the same mistake twice. When I reciprocated their love, life started becoming more beautiful and happier.
40 onwards: Liberation
Not that the number 40 turned my life upside down, but I saw myself gradually detaching myself from materialistic pleasures and enjoying more human interactions.
I slowly moved to the phase where I do not take myself very seriously. Today, my outward lifestyle might look a bit flashy but I don't take any pride in that. I do not take pride in earnings and businesses but take pride in a belief that even if everything goes away and I have to start from zero, I can rebuild everything. I have seen too many ups and downs to get bogged down by criticism and I don't crave appreciation or recognition anymore not because I lack motivation but because I have too many bucket list items to conquer.
Today money and luxuries do not entice me much; Rich and famous people do not matter. Rather I'm impressed by polite people who have consistent drive, I'm impressed by people who inspire me to do more. I'm impressed by charming people with great vocabulary and clarity of thought. I love hanging out with kids of all age groups because they have fresher perspective of life. I started enjoying conversations and other simple pleasures of life.
Just when I thought this attitude will mellow me down, it's working wonders. I realized that success and happiness is not all about ourselves but because of people around us who like working with us. The more I respected people, the more successful I became. Let me see how things unfold in the years to come.
