Laws of Favour

Favour (Favor), as defined in dictionary, is any act or deed in which help is provided without expectation or reciept of anything in return. Going by this definition, I haven't done any favor to anybody in my life because I always got something in return (sometimes more than what I've done to others in return).

On the other hand, I have many people in my life who went out of their way to help me out in my bad times just to see me happy. I feel very humbled and obliged by the very thought of these people though I seldom express that in person. I try to do everything in my capacity for their benefit though I don't mean to balance or repay their timely support.

In this post, I'm trying to sum up how people ought to behave when they take or do favors to others. This is a the simple analysis of day to day situations I saw in the world around me.

LAWS OF FAVOUR

When you take favors from others:

1. Never measure the value of the favor you took. Don't calculate how much time, effort or money did the other person spend to help you. What all matters is that the person gave you a helping hand when you needed it badly regardless of how big or small the favor was. The noble intention which led the person to help you is divine and you should remember that forever.
2. Never neutralize the favor taken. Don't assume that the favor somebody did for you is cancelled just because you do something else for him later. Its your basic responsibility and duty to support those who helped you earlier. That doesn't undermine the help you have taken because today you may be in the position to help him just because of the favor you've taken earlier. So no balance sheets in favors. Its not barter trade.
3. Never live in hypothesis and assumptions. Don't ever feel that if this person didn't help you, somebody else would have done that. Whatever were the alternatives, you took somebody's help at that point and that's it.
4. Acknowledge the favor taken in public. Some people tend to thank the person who helped in private but never acknowledge the reason for his well-being in public domain. Not that the other person needs any publicity, but it shows your respect and humility in accepting the help taken in public. It only elevates both, the helper and the receiver.
5. Success is not proportional to one's talent. All talented people don't get successful if they are not supported by a lot of people. Identify those people and show gratitude for whatever they have contributed to your success and well-being, regardless of what you do to them.

When you do favors to others:

1. Never expect anything in return for the favor you do. If you expect them to do something in return, its not wrong, but your favor turns into investment. In that case you should not expect the respect and gratitude which you otherwise receive.
2. Understand the thin line between duty and favor. If doing something is your official or moral duty, don't name it as "favor". If you are being paid money, products, services, effort or any kind of contribution as per the predefined arrangement, its not a favor anymore. Some people who claim to be "serving" customers are ludicrous as what is "service" when they are being paid for their duty. Its strictly business.
3. Don't ask / expect the beneficiaries to remember the favor and behave in their benefit forever. Though it's the responsibility of the beneficiary to behave in such way, the person who helped should not really exploit the situation. Again respect is at stake.
4. Just because you helped somebody, don't get under the feeling that you are omnipotent. Even the most powerful might need favors from weaker people. Humility defines the person, not conceit.

These laws of favor if followed, will elevate the relationship, mutual respect and admiration between those who helped and those who received favors.