What My Dad Taught Me !

After writing posts about my mom and my wife, the last part of the trilogy is obviously about my dad and what could be a better day than my parents' wedding anniversary (May 16th).  I seldom express anything to my dad and thought this is the best medium to let him know what he means to me and what he taught me :)

Again it would be foolish if I start writing how much my dad loves me or cares for me. But this is definitely a moment to acknowledgement what he taught me by example. The three biggest lessons of life I learnt observing my dad are:

(1) Developing an identity and being ourselves regardless of our background
(2) Doing and enjoying whatever we like regardless of what others think
(3) Being soft-spoken, amiable and chivalrous even if others consider that as our weakness.

If I happen to project any of the above-mentioned characteristics, its just because I'm heavily influenced by my dad's style.

My dad's childhood and adolescence was in stark contrast to my mom's. He was born into an affluent family of landlords and my grandfather has been sarpanch of his village for 3 decades. With the kind of lifestyle he spent his childhood and adolescence, anybody would expect my dad to be a spoilt kid, but that didn't matter to him as he grew up to realize that he wanted to be a self made man.

He never liked his identity to be a son of somebody. He was the only son of the family (from previous few generations including his) who came out of the political ambiance to find himself a decent job by his own credentials to sustain himself out of any family influence and since that day never did he demand / command / question / enjoy even a penny from his ancestral property. It takes a lion heart to be a man of values and supreme self confidence to shift gears from a affluent life with 10 servants around to a struggler who went around to do odd jobs, starve and make his own mark in the world. And my dad, indeed has a lion heart.

He got married when he was 22 and I was born by the time he turned 23. I was strictly raised amidst middle class values and from the time I remember, I was made to understand the importance of hardwork, self sufficiency, simplicity and I hardly knew the kind of background my father came from until I was some 6 years old and visited the home village near Ghanpur of Warangal Dist.

Whenever I visited the village, I was royally pampered and almost spoilt by the whole village till I was some 12 years old. I remember people there addressing me as "Chinna Panthulu". That was sprawling yesteryear modeled house built in the midst of an acre of land, a big cow barn, an area for grandfather's daily political meetings, a ration warehouse, a dhobi ghat in the backyard, huge garden for vegetables and villages of farmland. But my parents took utmost care so that I don't get carried away by that lifestyle and grandeur and here I'm :)

Coming back to my parents' early married years: Those were the days when ladies of homes were confined to kitchens and there was no concept called chivalry among men. Men who asked their wives' opinion in social matters or those who helped their wives in kitchen were considered meek and henpecked. Infact thats the stupidity even the current generation follows sometimes. But my dad showed the world how important it is to see wife as equal and how joyful life would be if wife is made a best friend.

He never wanted a macho or masculine image which he might've bestowed with had he not allowed my mom to present her views. He never stopped or restricted my mom in speaking her mind and doing her heart. He never thought twice to help my mom in kitchen before guests or relatives. Chauvinists and pessimists were crying foul but my dad was and has been chivalrous till date. He was never a "Tiger" or "Anaconda" as fathers depicted in movies or narrated by my friends. I feel so proud of him :)

My dad realized that my mom had the potential to make it big in professional and social circles as he stood as a pillar of support by rekindling her education, encouraged her to pursue her career, did whatever he could and my mom stood upto his expectations and turned up to be his support in spinning money for the family. That's marriage for them - beautifully complementing and supplementing each other :)

My dad always did what he wanted, never cared about others. But never did he get an image of an arrogant, stubborn or irritating person because of his social behavior which I try very hard to emulate but fail miserably. He is the most soft spoken person as known to all his friends, confidants, acquaintances and relatives. I seldom saw him in anger or frustration. Others would not have seen him ever in any kind of negative emotions like anger, frustration, scheming, jealous, loudness etc. My dad has been a saintly figure even for those who have some problems with me or my mom :) So he taught me without preaching that we should be ourselves without being harsh to others. These seeds were sown since my childhood.

His patience is infectious, his composure is soothing, his simplicity is inspiring, his independence is brutal, his conviction is ruthless, his attitude is impeccable, his influence in enormous, his love is impalpable, his support is unflinching. He is my dad, he is my hero.

Mom & Dad, happy anniversary to you and love you both :) ..

PS: Those who wonder why did I write only about dad on my parents' anniversary, please browse through an older post a week ago where I wrote about my mom (My Mom - My Friend)

With this ended the series of my family related personal posts for this season. Some other topic very soon :)