Open letter to my Kids - 1

Dear Bachchoos,

Since you are too young to understand big people stuff like wisdom and life, I'm writing this in a hope that someone would show this article to you when you grow if I'm not around. Generations evolve by gaining wisdom out of their parents' experience and it's my turn to tell you few things which I learnt it hard way, so that you don't make the same mistakes I did.

• Never get into revenge mode:

You would face many situations when you get angry, upset, outraged on others and your first reaction would be retaliation on the perpetrators. That's a bad idea because after you take your sweet revenge and look back, you would not have gained anything substantial for yourself except that insignificant sense of fake triumph. Rather try to channelize that anger, insult and outrage into ruthless passion and breach a new frontier. Every time I managed to do something, I used the anger in my mind as a fuel. Trust me, that works.

• You can't control others' impression about you

You can't cultivate or control an image about yourself. You must understand that as you grow leaps and bounds, you will attract hatred, criticism. In the world of internet to spread information and tools to edit almost anything, all it takes is a figment of imagination of your hater to slander, gossip or mud-sling at you without remorse. You can go only up to a certain level to defend or explain yourself and later you have to leave it at others' discretion. Negativity is attractive, can be spread faster, easier and can never be eliminated from people's minds even if you disprove everything. So my kids, the world is ruthless. Brace up ! 

• Avoid negative people

Even though some people don't hate you, they carry certain negative energy. If you have a means to resolve their temporary issues, go ahead. But if they are chronic complainers, whiners, pessimists, sympathy seekers and those who expect you to justify yourself all the time - AVOID THEM gradually. You are who you hang out with. The negativity rubs off to you making your life more miserable than it is. Instead if you talk to thinking people, nerds, innovators, those with high aims: trust me their positivity is infectious. The choice you have is a no brainer.

• Maturity is all about reacting to situations

People mellow down as they grow older not just because they get physically weaker but they begin choosing what to react and what not to. Teenagers or mid 20's kids tend to get hyper reactive because that's when they think the world is at their feet and they are invincible or because they aren't wary about consequences to their reactions. Understand that you are free to behave anyway you want but not free to avoid consequences of your deeds, words or to put it simple your reactions to situations. So react cautiously.

• Try to be innovators and entrepreneurs

The world saw very less of leaders and hordes of followers because most want security and make a living by working for others. I will try my best so you don't have to work for your livelihood. Dream high, so high that people around you ridicule and laugh at you first. Identify your passion, learn the craft and try to innovate or make a mark in the field not to gain appreciation of the world but to avoid any repentance during your last days. Zindagi milegi na dobara and I don't want you to waste this precious life of yours slogging in uninteresting jobs to make a living.

• Money is important

Yes, love is important but money is important too. Money gives you flexibility and luxury to love, live, make decisions, turning dreams to reality. People take you seriously when they know you have the ability to earn; not that you need anybody's approval but getting noticed by some people works for you (both personally and professionally). Always analyze how to turn your passion or hobby into a revenue model and then scale it up to greater heights. Saving money is as important as earning. Investing money so your money earns more money is the key you would want to learn early in your life.

• Health is more important than anything else

Even if money, love, success make one's life easy and happy, do you think one can enjoy those when they know they have a life threatening illness or an impending health hazard ? No money or clout in the world can save anybody from a health hazard and you need to keep yourself away from foods, habits, environment or situations within your control which could cause any kind of harm to you (physical or mental). 

• Addictions start harmless

Every addiction has a harmless start. Your peers and friends would inspire, challenge or introduce something apparently adventurous but enjoyable addiction to you which you may think would be easy to control or regulate later. Once you strike a liking to that addiction, you'll only find excuses and reasons to go back to that and soon you'll see you don't control your craving anymore because your central nervous system would't work without that inducement. It could be smoking, alcohol, drugs, gambling, betting or any such vice. Self-control doesn't work once your nervous system takes shots. Beware.

• Express your love

If you like somebody, express that in your gestures, behavior and words in right context. Everybody in this world likes to be loved and when they reciprocate upon your expression, life would be happy. But at the same time, don't expect everybody you like to like you back. If they don't, respect their opinion and stop spending your energy and time on them, yet keeping that liking alive.

• Don't be a bully

Bullying others is easy. But every thug will have a bigger scoundrel harassing them. For everybody wielding a stick, there will be somebody with a knife, and above them will be somebody brandishing a gun who will be scared of a terrorist. Victimizing innocuous people to show off your power or clout will someday result in you being victimized by a bigger bully than you. Never ever get into that territory, it's not worth it.

• Don't argue for unnecessary beliefs

Throughout your life, you'll be surrounded by people believing in different political ideologies, religions, lifestyles and opinions. Come to terms that diversity is the way of the world and never get into arguments nor try to convince somebody about your points of view. After putting your efforts in winning an argument, what do you gain out of that ? NOTHING. So only argue when your personal life or money or relationships are at stake. For all other arguments, just be an audience with popcorn.

• Don't underestimate anybody

Never be complacent or too proud of yourself. There are many people more intelligent and successful than you who just don't show off. Behaving with vain and conceit is annoying. Always respect everybody younger, or those with lesser means, less educated or not as confident as you are because you never know inherent skills, exposure or talent of a certain person based on their appearance or behavior. Try to learn or find inspiration from each one of them and realize the world is too big and your life too small to be overconfident.

My Dear Son,

• My father taught how not to be a male-chauvinist by example and I hope to inspire you. So always understand that your girl(s) are not your property. You don't own them. You are not entitled enough to dictate terms to them. Love more than anything else conquers women.
• Be a responsible man. Girls may appear to be attracted to charming, funny, handsome boys, but they want to marry a man who can be responsible for her and her to-be kids. You must keep your girl secure first and if you are charming with good sense of humor, that's bonus.

My Dear Daughter,

• You don't have to live with a feeling that you need protection from somebody else. I will raise you a strong girl who could take her decisions, stand by her ideals just like your mother. Also you don't have to comply with the society's demands of how girls should behave or dress as long as you have clarity and sense of thought.
• We all come from a school of thought that men and women are equal in every way and we call it egalitarianism, and not feminism. Hope you grow wise enough to understand the difference. Hate-mongering or prejudice of any kind is a big NO.

Other important suggestions to both of you

• Try to cultivate three hobbies - one to earn money, second to keep your creativity alive and third to keep yourself fit and free of unwanted fat.
• To achieve anything maintain consistency and discipline. Many people dream high and start well, but lack of consistency is the difference between achievers and random day dreamers.
• Fast decision making makes strong leaders. And know how to learn from your bad decisions.
• Don't let others dictate if you should be confident or not. Don't let others opinion affect your confidence

Each pointer I wrote in this post was addressed elaborately in one of the articles written and published by me earlier in this blog. I will keep writing more until I'm physically and mentally sane and sound so that you have my thoughts, ideas, words, guidance, presence around you beyond my existence.

PS:  I love you both more than anything in this universe. Hope you know your father always stands like a wall behind you. Whenever you face any hardship, take it for granted that I will always be around guiding you how to handle but I want you to develop skills and attitude where you don't need my guidance. 

Non Vegetarianism is like Sex

Disclaimer:

1. I don't intend to justify or mock either vegetarianism or non-vegetarianism. 
2. I'm non-religious and don't practice any caste stereotypes. I don't correlate food habits with caste or religion.
3. I used the concept of sex to bring out an analogy between natural human instincts and not to titillate.
4. I tried to analyze why vegetarian activism of non-violence against animals doesn't yield deserving results.

If you are sensitive or find any discussions about food habits or sex offensive, please don't read the below article. These are just my thoughts and are totally subjective.
______________________________________

Dear Vegetarians,

If you chose vegetarian diet for ethical, moral, humane reasons and if you don't want to be a party to harming or killing animals - you have my unconditional and unwavering respect. I don't mince words in saying that you belong to a morally superior breed of humans and no silly argument could push you off your pedestal.

There would always be people arguing that plants are living things too without understanding that plants don't have central nervous system, brain or pain receptors. You will find others lecturing that eating animals is important for circle of life and to maintain a balanced food chain in the environment without accepting they eat animals that were selectively raised to slaughter and not with an intention to control animal population in their natural habitats. If they argue about nutrition and health benefits with non-vegetarian food, let me tell you there are superior health benefits with vegetarian food.

Don't bother about any internet articles shared by them stereotyping or belittling vegetarians or vegetarianism. They are usually compelled to do so that they feel they weren't on the wrong side of moral compass. You don't have to take them seriously. Hence I reiterate that voluntary vegetarians are more ethical, kind, virtuous, progressive thinking people of the society, hands down.

This article is dedicated not to vegetarians or animal lovers in general but to vegetarian activists who try to propagate vegetarianism among non-veg eaters. Let me tell you, your intention is noble and righteous because you hope to spread non-violence and love towards animals. Highly appreciable but I tried to analyze why such efforts don't yield remarkable results among non-veg lovers. There is a scientific or to be precise biological or anthropological reason behind that. Read on:

Do you know that the self-control, self-discipline and ethics you follow in terms of food habits is not natural to human species ? Human digestive system is designed for and is adaptable to non-veg food and we are born omnivores. Our stomachs, intestines, teeth are made to process both kinds of food. Appetite for non-veg food comes natural to human physiology. Pleasure cells in human brain release dopamine rush when eating non-veg food, the same dopamine which in high levels causes addiction to vices and guilty pleasures. That's human tendency. That's science. But in a way, that's a physiological handicap.

Hence if you are a vegetarian, you chose to rise above natural human instincts and laws of nature but your non-veg friends are living their natural life bestowed by thousands of years of evolution. So any activism or sharing articles would only cause them discomfort but not remorse.

Vegetarianism is to Celibacy what Non-Vegetarianism is to Sex

For starters, celibacy means avoiding sex or any intimate physical relationship. There are philosophical, spiritual, religious theories about how refraining from sex is important for better and pure living. Celibacy, vegetarianism and sobriety are considered pillars for leading a higher standard of living. Many theories suggest that sex should be avoided (or limited to just dutiful reproduction of children) and the precious energy must be preserved and utilized in other very essential and indispensable functions. This might sound ridiculous for many but celibate movement is a genuine undercurrent phenomenon. You would be surprised to know how many world renowned legends practiced celibacy (including Mahatma Gandhi, Queen Elizabeth-1, Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla to name a few).

But sex is a basic human necessity. Maslow's hierarchy of needs too states that sex is a raw physiological need that cultivates motivation. I don't want to use the concept of sex in this article to make anybody uncomfortable. Think of it as fuel for humans which gives intrinsic satisfaction to body and mind. So avoiding sex doesn't come naturally to humans just like avoiding non-veg food is not intrinsic. We are made like that and would continue being so unless another thousand years of ethical evolution causes humans to organically rise over.

Maintaining self-control and self-discipline for whatever they believe in must be lauded but imagine a situation where celibates describe others how awful the activity of sexual intercourse is. That's very similar to vegetarian activists trying to explain how animal cruelty or non-vegetarianism are improper.

If you show inhuman slaughterhouse videos to your non-veg friends and ask if they still want to eat non-veg, it's like a celibate showing you crass outrageous porn videos and asking if you still want to have sex ! They wouldn't refrain from what gives them pleasure, but would find ways to discredit your activism..and dislike you. They are hard-wired that way.

Though I know comparing animal cruelty to sex is silly, I'm trying to bring an analogy between two distinct human instincts that can't always be influenced by activism. But there are quite a few examples of non-veg lovers renouncing their food palate and I believe they should be hugely respected for their mettle and restraint.

PS: I mentioned that I have high regards for voluntary vegetarians but not so much for those who practice vegetarianism for religious or caste compulsions. I skimmed through Vedas, Upanishads and Manusmriti and let me tell you there are equal number of verses discouraging and encouraging non- vegetarianism and you may selectively choose what you want to follow. That debate some other time. If interested, read my earlier article about History of Religion.

The great Indian 'Son-In-Law' syndrome !

This post is not about the contemptible jerks who physically, verbally or mentally abuse their wife, or in-laws. That's a cringe worthy social epidemic but this article is about an average Indian married man who caters to his family and appears to be gentle and well-cultured. Sometimes he masquerades as a torchbearer of equality too but deep inside he would be suffering from "Great Indian Son-In-Law Syndrome".

One of the earliest advices I got from my well-wisher ahead of marriage was to enjoy 'son-in-law' status post wedding and not let in-laws gain control of me ! I was too naive to even understand what he meant because I never saw my father or brother-in-law behave in any condescending manner or 'enjoy' their son-in-law title.

People change with changing times, education, awareness and exposure. But if there is something that could not be rattled with all the change in the world, its the mindset of the average Indian son-in-law, the patronizing, supercilious member of the family who believes in exercising the right he's supposedly entitled to.

To all my fellow married men, run through this checklist:

1. Do you get offended when your parents-in-law address you as nuvvu (tum) instead of meeru (aap) ?
2. Do you expect in-laws to call and wish you on all festivals ?
3. Do you sulk if your in-laws don't consult you for any major decisions they take ?
4. Do you expect in-laws to offer you clothes and gifts on all festivities or family events ?
5. Do you expect your wife to convince you before meeting her own parents and siblings ?
6. Do you believe you've done a favor to their family by accepting to marry their girl ?
7. Did you discuss or influence your wife to change her last name to yours ? or ever claimed that you "allowed" your wife to retain her maiden last name ?
8. Did you ever feel you "helped your wife" by doing household chores ?
9. Do you dread that your friends and extended family could call you "jhoru ka ghulaam" hence try to dominate your in-laws and wife ?
10. Did you believe your wedding expenses (or gifts) were the responsibility of your in-laws ?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, you suffer from son-in-law syndrome. Not that it's criminal but you must refrain from claiming to be a modern thinking man regardless of your education, knowledge, wisdom, social status or ideology.

Patriarchy is deeply ingrained in Indian minds since generations. Sexism, rampant discrimination were earlier considered normal and largely acceptable. Since centuries, its interpreted that son-in-law was responsible for their daughter's wellness and more respected and appeased he was, better would be their daughter's life. That's because historically women were largely confined to four walls of the house and had to live inferior lives. The respect or sometimes fear of son-in-law is the direct consequence of the same patriarchal hangover even to date. Generations of such appeasement and mollification got so entrenched into DNA of the society that men feel offended if they weren't treated like demigods.

Adding up everything, it's a fact that sons-in-law were not respected for the people they were but out of the fear that they could harm their wives. And it's not a surprising fact that the men encourage and entertain such entitlement to this day with active encouragement from their families. Isn't that a tacit blackmail or threat ? How shameful could that get ?

Dear men, you marry a girl because you (like her) need a lifetime companion for physical, emotional, social and mental needs; a person who promises to live rest of her life with you and who builds along with you a strong bond of love, mutual trust and inter-dependency. In the equation, if she doesn't expect your parents to respect her in a certain way, why would you ? Why are you, as a male, more important ? Just because you have a dick ? Does that grant you the privilege ?

It's a puzzle how a man who respects random senior people on the street fail to treat his parents-in-law who are seniors too, with similar respect. Being a man is not about bludgeoning somebody because the weak and elderly are intimidated of the possibility of you harassing their loved one. Being a man is not about exploiting them to appease you to show off how dominant or alpha male you are. Being a male is not demanding or begging for honor, it's about earning respect for the person you are.

Man is not the 'head of the family" as been taught to us in our primary school. You wouldn't be a 'jhoru ka ghulaam' if you get rid of your male chauvinism. Every species in the universe would born either male or female and you just happened to be a male due to the chromosome game. Being a male is not something you earned, there's nothing to be so proud to be one.

Machismo lies in being chivalrous, gentlemanly, gracious and charming with everybody in general and those who respect you in particular. Without these qualities, you will just be a dick...which you may take helluva pride in.

PS: For those who try to connect dots about my wife's last name; we never ever discussed about that and she uses my last name only on the social media for her own reasons and she's proud to retain her maiden name elsewhere, like my mother or my sister.

Tamasoma Post-Mortem & CutMirchi Future

It's been a week since we released Tamasoma to YouTube audience and since then it has been a roller-coaster ride with mixed feelings. I find this phase very entertaining, enlightening and worth sharing. Here's my account.

When I embarked on this journey, I had 3 story points to turn into films and took the most simple and straightforward script for Tamasoma because I knew the first attempt would be a learning curve. Hence the story had only 4-5 characters, limited locations and duration. I didn't intend to create any ripples nor submit my work to sundance film festival. I basically wanted to learn how to present an idea in a cinematic way in the most engaging way possible without boring the audience.

The Good

I read many books and watched videos about film making where gurus advised not to introduce the major plot incident right in the first scene because that would require a director to engage the audience continuously thereafter without tiring them. But with Tamasoma,  I deliberately defied that rule and tested myself if I could deliver a 40 minute saga without losing audience's interest despite a major incident right in the opening scene.

I heard many accounts of feedback - both positive and negative from people I know and others too. The criticism was majorly around bad dubbing and audio quality or screenplay of the last 10 minutes but almost everybody agreed that the story, concept engaged them and they enjoyed the unpredictable twists. Everybody unanimously agreed that I could hook them up for 40 minutes without distraction. THAT'S MY SUCCESS.

After I took up this journey, at least 50 people told me that they always wanted to make short films, skits or feature films but they could never begin due to whatever reasons they had. I had my own reasons too, but I broke through the barriers, wrote, narrated, directed, produced and promoted a product which was born out of my mind. THAT'S MY SUCCESS.

We are glad that we could stand up to our first marketing slogan that this was the story never been told in world cinema and we are proud of it.

The Bad

When I saw the aggressive tirade by makers of  "ee nagaraniki emaindi", "veera bhoga vasantha rayalu" against reviewers, I was amused. If a person delivered a creative product for public consumption in a public domain, they should be ready to accept any criticism. Hence I was more than willing to listen to constructive criticism about my first attempt.

Also I don't understand filmmakers who get annoyed by criticism and reviews by those who never held a camera nor shot a home video. Talking of analogies, when we go to a restaurant we would review the taste of food even if we can't cook. Same logic applies here. Those who critique films don't need to be knowledgeable about film making. For me, criticism is not bad. Actually that's more important than praises because that's how I can think from audience's perspective and learn what not to repeat in the future.

But yeah, those critics can't make even a fraction of what film makers do is a different afterthought though. Nevertheless there are always few negative people who want to humiliate and slander and I refuse to acknowledge their existence.

Bad Dubbing:

The unanimously raised point was the bad audio quality and poor dubbing. I totally agree with everybody. Here is what happened: We initially thought sync sound would be too difficult logistically and went ahead with an idea of ADR (dubbing). Since it was a 40 minute movie and we had only a handful of characters, we borrowed a radio station for 4 hours thinking we could finish the dubbing off. But for our surprise, it took around 4-5 hours for each actor. That was harrowing. The studio team would have agreed if it was a couple of more hours but 30 hours against 4 hours of earlier approved time was way out of line and I didn't want to trouble them because the inconvenience was evident.

The biggest mistake at that point was not to hire a professional studio for the remainder of dubbing because I thought we could do the rest at home with a microphone and a voice recording software set. Then I started traveling to all actors' houses to get their dubbing done. While the actors did their best, I was a novice in sound management and didn't realize that microphone also captured AC, furnace motor and other unwanted ambiance sounds as well and the end audio had a disturbing hush along with their voices. I asked my BGM director to remove the hush and he warned me about implications. I insisted and he did something and in the process lost some voice textures too, in addition to losing BGM effects as well. It was 40 hours of recording, traveling, post production sound design (more than shooting time) which went into a monumental waste. I was dejected but could do very less because it was too late to re-dub and I didn't want to trouble actors who already worked for free. Then there was a huge issue of lip sync and getting the right emotions while dubbing.

The final nail on the coffin was that iDream guys compressed the 41 minute movie to 39 minute video including their own animations thus compressing the entire audio and video quality making the negative feedback inevitable.

Bad Screenplay:

While many lauded our product and were lenient because it was my first attempt, few correctly pointed at the incoherent screenplay and fast flowing scenes especially towards climax. I identified that in rushes and hence posted a poll on my FB if I should release or not. I was in two minds but then released it because the output involved hard work of other people involved.

I earlier wrote my story and dialogues and started filming some scenes with just those dialogues without proper screenplay. Towards the end, I learnt screenplay techniques and reshot many scenes and hence you might find few scenes came out well while few others came and went in a flicker before you could register what's going on. That's a notebook case study for bad screenplay.

Behind every 1 minute of film you watch on screen, there were 2 hours of shooting and 2 more hours of pre-production and post production. Unfortunately, thanks to my inexperience, I could realize mistakes committed during shooting only at the editing stage when my editor asked if I had some important extra footage and b-roll...and I didn't have any. So the editor had to mix and match the available footage and deliver the product. Earlier I edited music video reprisals but working with him taught me many intricacies of editing.

Performances:

Debutante actors performed better than their best and got overwhelming appreciation from all corners. If there was any such scene where the audience felt actors could have performed differently, the onus lies upon me because I should have asked them for a retake if I was not satisfied. They performed as many times and in as many variations as I requested from them.

Others:

Few friends advised me to employ multi camera setup, dolly movements, drone sequences in the movie. The camera angles and techniques employed during Tamasoma were deliberate. If you notice, I used all the aforementioned techniques in my other music video reprisals and also tried here but felt not suitable for the screenplay and dialogue narrative. Yet, your feedback is valued and will make sure you will enjoy my next output.

The Future

I took up camera and film making as an active hobby and a borderline passion and not as a career. I would continue to make more movies, videos as long as I get ideas that blow my mind, as long as my wife and friends who share my passion are willing to collaborate and as long as my parents and family join me through the process.

Few well wishers warned me that film industry is not known to "give chances" to outsiders and I should make more love stories or comedy to get more chances. I seldom ask for chances from anybody and I would only collaborate with those who want to join aboard my vision. I don't find love stories and boy meets girl kind of sagas interesting and don't intend to be a drop in the flood of short films and movies that pass us everyday. I would initiate something only when the plot blows my mind. And I found two such plots.

While I would want to reserve the best plot I devised for a theatrical release feature film sometime in the near future, there is another interesting plot which I'll roll-out soon as my second short film. The story will have more characters, longer duration, more action visuals, less conversations and I promise to overcome blunders I committed in Tamasoma. The title would be "Asatoma" and is not related to "Tamasoma" in any way.

Those who watched Tamasoma would know that I left all characters as open ended and nobody was shown as dead (may be except one). All the loose ends would be connected in a more unthinkable way in Tamasoma-2 which will be a limited and private release to those who enjoyed Tamasoma-1.

In addition, we are planning to roll-out three different weekly talk shows about three completely unrelated topics. My wife will helm two of those and I would take up the third one. Will begin those too as limited releases to gauge the reaction before releasing it on YouTube. Interested people can join our private audience list.

The Conclusion

I wholeheartedly thank everybody who took time to watch Tamasoma and acknowledge the beginning of my new journey. Thanks and love to those who liked it and to those who had all kind words for me and the team. Thanks a ton to everybody in cast and crew who believed in my vision. Thanks to everybody in and beyond the team who have been promoting the movie to help me expand my horizons. Thank you so much to all those who gave me honest reviews and areas of improvement. You took time to analyze and tell me those points proving that you care.

To those who haven't caught up with the movie, you are welcome to check it out on my facebook timeline or search for tamasoma+cutmirchi on youtube. Those who ignored it, I'll try harder next time to gain your attention. And to all those who don't intend to watch (or pretending not to) - wishing you peace !

Shalom until 'Asatoma' !

My Journey through Filmmaking !

It's good to be back to the wordplay mode after a hiatus of almost 8 months. I certainly missed interacting with many friends on social media, but the break from all the scrolling through senseless forwards and shares on FB and Whatapp has been refreshing and revitalizing. Also the social media detox after 10 years was much needed for me not to potentially fall into the narcissistic trap which comes with the virtual interactions that can't always be construed on face value.

Once I deactivated by fb, whatsapp, insta and twitter, I had all the time in the world to retrospect my work life,  rediscover my business ambitions and reigniting latent possibilities. I would like to believe that the time was utilized well and hope the awaiting results coincide with my belief.  Another boost came in the way of expansion of The Saharsh Project and our family just breached the 100 mark.

But in years to come, I would remember 2018 for another development. Last year I could juggle between work, education, travel and many more avocations in addition to the social media obsession. This year was relatively calm and despite work assignments, I had a lot of time to cultivate and inculcate myself with a new hobby. I have been camera crazy since forever but I hit a moment of reckoning when I started self-learning camera to it's full potential. Earlier I was brandishing my DSLR at family vacations and thought I was good at photography but only after I learnt a bit of camera did I realize that not everybody who owned a DSLR was a photographer the way everybody who owned a pen wouldn't be an author.

My perennial passion has been writing and was writing more of non-fiction through this very blog till recently because that was my way of expression, an outlet. For the first time I gave a thought of expressing through camera and the In the Feelings - Kiki Challenge happened. I don't know what prompted the ladies in the video to trust my sensibilities sans any experience but they obliged to perform. While it's not the best of creative works, we all were happy with what came out considering the impulsive, inexperienced effort. I can't thank my friends enough for keeping up with my supposedly creative demands. But the more rewarding and enriching experience than the filming was editing. Learning the craft was an uphill ordeal but once I got the elements, I realized it could be quite an hobby in itself. To keep the fire going, I also edited the video clips we took in Greece last year and produced Em Sandeham Ledu - Reprisal.

In between all these, some other development occurred. Few months back, I was browsing through some news article and stumbled into a very interesting, unimaginable article which blew my mind into pieces. My first response was to write a story based on that, my first attempt at fiction. Halfway through, I felt I could convey it to larger audience if I translate that into a visual medium. First thought of a docudrama and then graduated the idea to make a short-film. My family heard the story and were more intrigued than I was which lent me a kind of reinforcement. But they believed I could do a better job with proper planning and execution than a half baked one. So they gave me the actual impetus to sign up Tamasoma. And a journey thus began.

The journey started with story writing, then moved to screenplay writing, character arc development and other pre-production work. The day came when we handpicked actors to play certain roles and picked up courage to ask them if they could act in my 'directorial'. Except one, all characters were written with certain people in mind and when I narrated the story to them, they kindly obliged, albeit with some reservations, I suppose. The people I wanted to work were those whom I knew personally and thought they would fit the bill to the T and whom I know I could get along well because that was more crucial for me. Building that team was easier than I thought. Like-minded people joined the crew and before I could realize, we were a 15 people team (production and post-production combined).

On the parallel track, I was learning crafts of film making, camera movements, cranes, gimbals, lighting equipment, sound, dialogue writing etc. Everything for the first time and I can't express how exhilarating and exhausting each phase was. My cast and crew were rock-solid beside me and I'm sure they did everything not to let me down despite noticing my amateurism. Every single person delivered everything I wanted and required on and off screen. They also came to terms with my re-shooting entire sequences 3-4 times without rolling their eyes. I still wonder what made them oblige to so many of my silly antics and tantrums. Thank you guys and love you all for your support and I apologize in advance if I won't be able to translate your hard work and conviction onscreen.

The production of the movie was fun and more like a picnic barring production design where I and the team had to run pillar to post to get logistics arranged. The movie making experience was diagonally different from music video reprisals or travelogue videos because there was screenplay, dialogues involved and we had to make sure every scene conveys the story to audiences in the way I imagined. After a month of shooting, post-production began which was another uphill task, more exhausting than the shooting itself. My editor (a professional guy who worked with teams of RGV etc) has been extremely patient, knowledgeable and is doing an able job. I'm waiting to witness his skill on the final product. Background music and foley is underway and is helmed by another old acquaintance who worked with teams of AR Rahman and Hiphop Thamizha.

As mentioned earlier, my conviction was that I could convey the story better as a movie than a blog article but I'm not sure how successful am I (or would I be) because I could see how unfledged, raw and callow my work as a director was and how I can do a better job now after going through the end to end movie making life cycle. I might have been haughty and cocky for believing that I could deliver magic without any training but without that presumptuousness and arrogance, I would not even have ventured anything into these waters and I'm glad I did it.

I hope the audience would watch the movie through my eyes and enjoy the story and the experience because as we began our marketing, this is one story which wasn't told in world cinema as yet. Our creative naivete may get under criticism (which we welcome wholeheartedly) but the story line won't. I promise the audience won't be disappointed about the story if they could be a bit lenient on our inexperience.

For those who asked me why did I only address intense subjects (like in In the Feelings - Kiki Challenge and now with Tamasoma), watch out for my take on love and romance in a video to be uploaded tomorrow at CutMirchi Media. Oh, by the way, we rebranded the channel from Myriad Tales to CutMirchi Media in an anticipation to indulge ourselves in serious visual media experiments.

So you will see more of my work and possibly myself on screen soon (but not acting or running around trees..). Watch out, Dear Friends !

Top 15 Film Directors I Love to Watch

Being a self-proclaimed movie-buff, I took a long time to write a movie based post. Here is the one where I tried to list down my top 15 film directors who (almost) consistently impressed me with their craft and captivated my senses through tightly scripted, content oriented movies.

While I loved some masterpieces by directors like Guru Dutt, Satyajit Ray, Akira Kurosawa, Al Hitchcock, Roman Polaski, Adoor Gopalakrishnan, Stanley Kubrick, Client Eastwood, Ang Lee, Ridley Scott, Steven Spielberg, Ben Affleck, Vishal Bhardwaj, I don't see their work as consistently engaging.

Though I'm a fan of international cinema, especially European, Iranian, Brazilian, Korean stuff and immensely admired single pieces of work of Majid Majidi, Alejandro Inarritu, Fernando Meirelles, I haven't seen their whole body of work to list them under my favorites either.

I couldn't care less about hero-elevation and mass elements which I never identified myself with and so the list is irrespective of their box office exploits or fan-base and hence could look skewed and stupid to few. Take it in your stride, guys :)

COUNTDOWN

(15) SS.Rajamouli: I hated all his movies from Student No 1 to Maryada Ramanna and yet he is in the list because of his ability and sheer brilliance in translating a script into visual drama on screen. He could dramatize even a gait or stare with aplomb, which sometimes goes overboard though. While many sequences in Bahubali were copied (err...adapted) from Ten Commandments, Ben-Hur and GOT, he is an undisputed craftsman who delivers visual opulence in constrained budget vis-a-vis his hollywood counterparts. You may as well peek into my earlier post about him at A Brand called Rajamouli

(14) AR Muragadoss: Yes, 'SYPder' was a dud and so was 'Stalin'. But a man who could captivate audiences through edge-of-the-seat screenplay and provide vicarious pleasure to star-fans through 'Thupakki', 'Kaththi', '7am arivu', 'Ghajini', 'Ramana' deserves a mention here.

(13) Imtiaz Ali: While his last couple of films were tedious to watch, he introduced a style of film-making which showed love-stories in a different light. Raw, intense and authentic. His debut 'Socha Na Tha' was a surprise for me but 'Jab We Met', 'Love Aajkal' and 'Rockstar' cemented my loyalty in his brand of film-making. 

(12) S. Shankar: When his films were dubbed into Telugu as 'Gentleman', 'Premikudu', 'Bharateeyudu',  'Oke Okkadu', many believed he could do no wrong and would be an unprecendented hit-machine. He showed what grandeur was much before Rajamouli did and could be deservedly called 'James Cemeron' of India. But later movies were huge let-down. Hoping to see the vintage Shankar with that vintage Rahman musicals soon.

(11) Woody Allen: The master of romantic comedies and God of conversation based movies (which I crave). 'Annie Hall' and 'Manhattan' stand tall as his outstanding artistry and inspiration for scores of film-makers since then. Most of the new-age directors copy (intentionally or unintentionally) or follow Woody Allen who could be credited for inventing a new genre of movies.

(10) Trivikram-Vijaya Bhaskar: A legendary dialogue-writer whose movies run in my car's rear entertainment system all through the year. His movies have repeat value and though he worked with star heroes, he successfully steered across insipid scenes and predictable conversations unlike his other more successful contemporaries. But must also say that movies he ghost-directed with Vijayabhasker at helm ('Nuvvu Naaku Nachav', 'Manmadhudu', 'Swayamvaram') were much more entertaining than the ones he directed to credit himself. 

(9) Farhan Akhtar: If Hindi movie history can be classified into two eras, it should be definitely before and after 'Dil Chahta Hai'. DCH released in 2001 along with more successful 'Lagaan' and 'Gadar' but the impact it made changed the dynamics and ecosystem of Bollywood. 'Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara' which he wrote and allegedly directed for his sister should be made a case-study not only in film institutes but in every personality development institute.

(8) James Cameron: The magician himself for whom sky is the limit. When top 2 biggest worldwide grocers of all time happen to be his movies, he doesn't need any further paeans or tributes. Another thing which puts him head and shoulders above other greats is his unique ability to balance visual grandeur and emotional connect which would make spectators oblivious of the fact they were watching a piece of fiction on screen.

(7) Hrishikesh Mukherjee / Jandhyala Subramanya Sastry: Legends who created a whole middle path between brainless, slapstick commercials on one side and lackluster, painfully tedious art cinema on the other during 70's-90's. Their boy and girl next door plots revolving around middle class families and day to day issues were refreshingly identifiable and heart warming. Jandhyala of Telugu film industry adapted Hrishida' style and revolutionized Telugu movies and carved a whole sub-industry in the otherwise loud era marked by mediocrity of Dasari Narayana Rao, Kodandarami Reddy, Raghavendra Rao.  

(6) Quentin Tarantino: Who else could glorify violence and bloodshed like THE Tarantino. I once randomly ran into 'Pulp Fiction' and was so stupefied by his style of creativity that I spent the next week watching all his remaining filmography. While 'Kill Bill' is the most loved among his works, 'Inglorious Basterds' was not too far behind. Tarantino revolutionized and redefined the words style, violence, gangsters, guns and background music. A certain 'Ram Gopal Varma' can copy and aspire to be Tarantino all he wants, but he must realize there's only one original.

(5) Rajkumar Hirani: I can't think of any other film director who can have such profound impact on the masses' behavior as Raju Hirani. And he nails it without getting into preaching mode. Be it education system in '3 Idiots', hospital ecosystem in 'Munnabhai MBBS', superstitions and Gandhian values in 'Lage Raho Munnabhai' or religious stupidity in 'PK' - Hirani drives his points with crisp conversations, captivating sequences and razor sharp screenplay. Aspiring film makers can study his style of film making to learn how to write, shoot, edit sequences which enthrall audiences throughout the film watching experience. The best contemporary film maker in India, period

(4) Martin Scorsese: Any legendary film director would be usually known by his one best movie which defines him/her. But Martin Scorsese churned out such landmark movies which each could easily be the best movie of the respective decade. Isn't Goodfellas the best gangster movie ever made ? Taxi Driver, Shutter Island, The Departed, The Gangs of New York, Raging Bull are such unforgettable classics that Hollywood should be renamed as "Scorsese Film Industry". 

(3) K. Viswanath: If there's anybody who's all time best film director India has ever produced, that would be none other than Viswanath. Especially his movies of early 80's like sagara sangamam, swathi mutyam, sitara, sirivennela, shrutilayalu, swayam krushi, swarna kamalam show how one visionary rose amidst a plethora of substandard film makers to confer certain respect to vernacular music, performing arts, linguistic aesthetics while addressing social evils when he could have easily chosen the regular run-of-the-mill formulae of the industry. And masses who were accused to be enjoying mediocrity rose along and gave their stamp of approval.

(2) Christopher Nolan: When I first watched 'Memento' (way before Ghajini), I was so lost and confused with two interspersing stories which was too taxing on my mind. When I watched it for the second time, it looked like a whole new movie altogether. Making a film like a puzzle and giving audiences some clues to figure out the plot was sheer brilliance of a certain Chris Nolan. Nolan is not just a film maker but a bonafide genius, a savant per se. His Batman series was a bit let-down but The Prestige, Inception and Interstellar too test audiences' mind more than visual senses. He is one of a kind.

(1) David Fincher: All the above mentioned film makers were genii in their own right but if there is one creative genius who made me sit on the edge of the seat without blinking in almost 10 movies, that's David Fincher. Each one of his movies got me intensely intrigued, gave me adrenaline rush and palpable heart beat. Being a massive fan of all kinds of thrillers (psychological, crime, plain old), I don't think there's any number 2 in the genre miles behind David Fincher. If you haven't watched his work, its time you get your ass down to watch 'panic room', 'zodiac', 'gone girl', 'the girl with the dragon tattoo', 'se7en' etc

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Special Mention:

Ram Gopal Varma: How I was an avid fan of RGV once and how I gradually got disillusioned by him at The Curious Case of Ram Gopal Varma

The so called acclaimed film directors I love to hate - Mani Ratnam, Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Karan Johar, George Lucas, Peter Jackson,

Why We Travel So Much !

We just returned from our Australia-New Zealand trip and I opened the blogger to jot down our experiences (which I religiously do after every big trip). But this time I decided to address one of the most common questions I get asked "How do you manage to travel so much, that too with two small kids". I usually laugh the comment off but now wanted to write down how important is traveling for us and what we get out of it.

For those who don't know, we got married a decade ago but started active traveling only 5 years back after the arrival of my son. My son and I both visited 30 countries to date while wifey visited a couple more. Baby girl has a daunting task to catch up with us. Parents joined us in 13 of those and I'm hoping for many more to come.

When I was a primary school student (around 7 or 8 y.o), my mom gifted me an yearly handbook called "Competition Success Review Year book" and I got so hooked up with countries, capitals, currencies, flags, councils of ministers, heads of states etc (and pushed academics to backseat). Since then, it had been a tradition for my parents to buy me such handbooks and encyclopedias every year and I remember that as my most favorite pieces of literature; my parents believed that broadened my horizons and I can't thank them enough for that.

After my son's birth we deliberately decided to spend most of our resources, time and energy in providing our children experiences that could broaden their horizons and educate them through experiences rather than inundate them with material possessions or comforts. We consciously wanted their education to be not limited to the walls of their respective classrooms.

The idea was to inculcate and ingrain into their small minds that traveling, knowing, appreciating and adapting ourselves to different places, lifestyles, cuisines, culture is part of life. Both my kids started their first international travel when they were few months old and now they turned to be pros.

Families which travel together stay together:

As cliched might it sound, it's true. We realized it first hand that traveling brought members of the family closer and enabled us to discover one another because during any trip - situations, environments, people around change constantly with family being the only constant unit intact. Right from planning, jotting down the list of places to visit, booking, packing and the journey, it's a complete team work. While my little girl is too young (but she understands that vacation is all about new people, hotel rooms and taxis), my boy is seasoned enough to join us in finalizing the tourist attractions to add to our itinerary. Vacations are usually the only period where we all get to be uninterruptedly together for an extended period of time away from daily routines of the world.

Not that every travel diary has been a smooth dreamy ride. We had our own share of tough situations. Our rental cars broke down, flights got cancelled, road trips had to be suspended due to bad weather, kids got sick, hotels denied our reservations for no reason, unavailability of vegetarian food options, dealing with passive and overt racism, overcharging, changing transportation options at the last moment, carrying kids and climbing mountains and walking for kilometers in forests, facing language and communication problems (23 / 30 countries visited are non-English speaking) etc.

But today if I have a choice, I would still opt to face those situations again because those challenges had put us on spot which we had to encounter, deal with which helped us learn about those places and cultures much better and etched laughable memories now. More importantly we were thrown out of our comfort zone in an alien land by people talking another language which brought us family together even stronger. We just knew that everything will settle down and all we needed to do was to keep our cool. That built our character. Another major takeaway: our kids saw how we maintained our composure to deal with those challenges and that would have a telling impact on their psyche because children grasp very fast when something is taught through model and inspiration. I can't get them learn these concepts in any school. These are the experiences we bought them through traveling.

Creating shared memories:

When I was a child and a teenager, my parents took me and my sister to various places in India and looking back, those are the best of fond memories we have about our childhood, those awkward poses for pictures, silly discussions, those simple meals, shabby motels and restaurants - all are engraved as powerful shared memories. Thanks to those memories, I have many moments of smile.

My boy is almost 6 now but once in a while, he recollects his travel memories of 2-3 years back and laughs incessantly. I can pay anything for such moments in my child's life. Apart from all the monuments, beaches and exotic locations, what we remember the most are the silliest of antics we have done at those respective places. For example: due to unavailability of proper washrooms we had to change diapers or wet clothes of our kids at the park at the foot of Eiffel tower, ruins of Colosseum, scenic train route in Switzerland, on a helicopter ride to Mt.Everest, desert around Egyptian pyramids, steps ascending Machu Picchu, lake side in New Zealand etc. As silly and crude as it might sound, we are bound to remember and laugh off for the rest of our lives. And we laughed our asses off from unpredictable situations which I can't share here.

Children grow up pretty fast and before they leave us for their own good, we wanted to gather up as many memories as possible. That's the very reason we make movies out of our travel escapades and upload at Myriad Tales - Youtube Channel . I hope, after we pass away, kids will still hold us in such beautiful memories and smile at us.

World is a teacher:

Children are generally more inquisitive and tend to ask more honest questions about each place. At least my son does. I make it a point to refresh my knowledge about each monument or tourist attraction we visit so that I'm prepared to answer his questions. Sometimes he surprises me with some profound questions which flabbergast me. Today I take pride in his cognizance of the world and geographic knowledge. He remembers all (almost) flags, capital cities and a special delicacy of each place he visited. His reactions to places and picturesque scenes make us appreciate those places further.

Traveling opened up his mind and we discovered his newfound interests. My little girl got more interactive, social and never shies away to strike a conversation in Telugu with any stranger across the world. There is a perceivable difference in their confidence levels (but his shyness remains the same back at home though). As children are fast adapters, they got acclimatized to weather, time zones, cuisines much faster than us. I was surprised to discover that my boy also realized how privileged and fortunate he is amidst many 'sad kids' of his age. Hope he retains that quality and grows up to be a compassionate and tolerant man. Touch wood !

Expensive but priceless:

One of the biggest hurdles to travel is the budget part. But it's not as overwhelming as many make out of it. Some proper planning, timing, research (read: TripAdvisor) could result in lot of cost cutting. Singles and young couples can save lot of bucks by backpacking, staying in hostels and apartments, hiring through airbnb, collecting reward points etc. Those who are on Instagram would know how a certain follower count would make one an instaceleb and corporates rush to sponsor trips for their benefit if one is creative and articulate enough. If you wanna go, you would go. As simple as it is.

Having said that, traveling is expensive but the output you get out of those experiences is matchless, priceless and magical.

Recent trip:

We wanted 2017 to be special for variety of reasons and hence visited all 7 continents and had a 12 hour incredible aerial trip to Antarctica where we could see glaciers, active volcanoes, mountain ranges, research stations and bright sunlight all through night in the ice desert from a metaphorical stone's throw away distance. While I always wanted to set my foot in the continent, I understood it would be too harsh on the kids (btw only kids over 10 are allowed to land so we were ruled out) also I would never have witnessed the landscape from one location which I could view from the up close and personal aerial tour. I felt truly privileged. I don't think I would ever be able to visit a more magical place (coming from me, living in Canada currently in -30's:- that should really mean something ;))

I was cautious about Australia because of the projected prejudice against brown skin but was pleasantly surprised. Everyone I met there including hotel staff, taxi drivers or random strangers we stroke a conversation with were extremely sweet and well mannered. Infact I experienced more racist pricks in USA which by far has the most 'asshole per capita' index in the world.

While Australia is pretty much like Canada except the right hand driving, New Zealand was a revelation. Queenstown especially was breathtaking with picturesque sceneries which no camera in the world can do justice to. The only places which could match up would be the scenic route between Interlaken & Lucerne in Switzerland and possibly Banff-Lake Louise-Athabasca Glacier corridor in Canada.

Future bucket list:

While we want to lay low in 2018, here's the bucket list for the future

1. Icebreaker cruise to North Pole, Arctic Ocean - That will complete our trip around 5 oceans
2. Cruising through drake passage to South Pole - That will complete our visit to 2 poles
3. Visiting Petra (Jordan) and Great Wall of China - That will complete our visit to 7 world wonders
4. Jerusalem - The place where Jesus Christ, Prophet Mohammed, David and Abraham once walked.
5. Trek to KalaPattar to view Mt.Everest - The highest peak in the world which evaded us in 2017
6. Base jump from 'Angel Falls', Venezuela - The highest waterfalls in the world
7. Camping in glass igloos and watching northern lights - in one of the Scandinavian countries
8. Solo skydiving and flying a glider plane - Right here in Toronto, Canada

Wish me good luck !

Travel Diaries 6 - Nepal

***Disappointment of the decade***

Country: Nepal 

Destination: Mount Everest basecamp & Kala Patthar

2017 will remain very special for us for many reasons and we wanted to commemorate year in many ways. One being traveling to all 6 continents (except Antarctica), visiting the oldest world-wonder (Egyptian Pyramids), largest rainforest (Amazon), longest river (Nile), oldest inhabited cities (Athens - because we can't go to Damascus, Syria) and.......the highest peak in the world (Mt.Everest). While all others have been done (or will be done), we were left with heartbreaking disappointment at the mighty Everest area.

In our 2.5 month hectic holiday to India, we sneaked out on a 2 day trip to Nepal in our pursuit to tick off Mount Everest from our bucket list. Since we had a 5 year old with us, the idea was to fly from Kathmandu to the Everest base-camp and then to Kala Patthar which is supposed to be the best viewpoint of the summit. 

The day we reached Kathmandu, we were amazed at how different Nepal is from India despite such strong social, religious, cultural ties and not to mention physiognomy. Nepalese people also seemed to be fiercely proud of their heritage, culture and don't appreciate being called similar to Indians. The day went well with visit to one of the oldest temples, the unique and magnificent Pasupathinath Temple (by the way, till recently Nepal was the only official Hindu country in the world). It was an eerie experience watching dead bodies being mass cremated on the banks of the river along the temple.

The next day was big. The day we were supposed to see the mighty Mount Everest with a naked eye. Here's the conversation (verbatim)

_____________________________________________________

*At Kathmandu airport helipad, 6:30 am*

Operator: sir, the weather is bad, let's wait for 30 minutes

Me: OK sure.

*After 30 mins*

Operator: sir, it's cloudy and not conducive for our tour. 

Me: But wasn't weather supposed to be good and sunny today as per forecasts.

Operator: yes sir but things change every hour and will be highly unpredictable at the Everest area. Sometimes we would also get stranded for 5 days straight. Please return to hotel and I'll update you.

Me: OK but please keep us posted and we would want to do this even at the slightest chance.

*We returned to hotel*

*Operator on phone after 1.5 hours*

Operator: Sir, Everest is not visible today. Shall I take you to Swayambhu temple and local shopping market ?

We: We came for an experience of a lifetime so let's wait for clouds to clear up and fly to atleast one of the 3 places where we can view the Everest

*Operator on phone after an hour*

 Operator: Sir, please come to helipad again. Seemingly weather had cleared up. Air traffic controller confirmed that and pilot is all set.

*We rushed like there's no tomorrow and boarded the helicopter*

*Up in the air after flying an hour into Himalayas*

Pilot: the weather is getting worse and there's no way we can go closer to the Everest view points. Let's return.  

*steers the helicopter around*

**My heart broke into 1000 pieces**

*After landing at Kathmandu helipad*

Kid:*waking up from sleep*: "Pappa, did I miss Everest ?"

____________________________________________________

The only consolation in the escapade is that the pilot took pity on us and landed us at the mysterious Haleshi Mahadev temple (google it) somewhere hidden in a bat-cave near thick woods on the banks of Doodhkoshi river in the Everest area. That would be memorable but the scar of missing on Everest remains. Some other day, some other time, may be a trek to basecamp and Kaala Patthar and I read about altitude-sickness, zero amenities, parasite infested water, indigestion, yak-dung nausea etc. It's not easy but still....

Mount Everest - I accept your challenge !

Getting Rid of 'Self Importance'

Few days back we had a party with our close friends and family to celebrate our anniversary when I attempted to sing, play guitar and dance in a party though I'm extremely mediocre (to bad) at those fine arts. The main reason for my attempt was to surprise my wife but there was another reason which I haven't shared with any. Here I'm pouring my heart out about why was that important for me to perform before 170 people and publish it on Facebook where hundreds more could judge me.

I wanted to break the shackles of self-importance that clutched me, that compulsive need to appear good and correct at all times, I wanted to get rid of my fear of criticism or judgement by others. For once I wanted to be myself without getting hindered by how and what others thought of me if I fail...Eventually I failed in performing well but I won over my internal struggle with narcissism.

Thanks to my second season of academic experience in the last 2-3 years I have met over 500 people who were miles ahead of me in intelligence, success and talent in every way. They were enterprising, always thinking out of box, breaking cliched rules, working to set new paths throughout. But more fascinating was their attitude towards life and society. One common thread I witnessed among all those was the conspicuous lacking of an inflated sense of self importance or urge to look correct.

On the other hand I know scores of ordinary people considering themselves superstars with whatever mediocrity they achieved (or sometimes without any). I remember my uncle, a distant relative, who never worked in his life because he didn't like 'being managed by others'. Talk about self-respect and self-importance !

I just had to juxtapose these two sets of people of either ends of the spectrum to see where I wanted to be and I knew the answer.

Self-importance or ultra-egoism or in psychological terms called as 'narcissistic personality disorder' is a mental condition in which people have a deep need for admiration and extreme self respect. But behind that lies a low self esteem that even a slightest of criticism can hurt, they feel the need to defend against any criticism. Those suffering from this condition usually pollute their internal energies, strain relationships and hinder their own growth prospects

“Self-importance is man’s greatest enemy. What weakens him is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of his fellow men. Self-importance requires that one spend most of one’s life offended by something or someone.”~ Don Juan

Though it's a mental blockade, it has a very easy solution. And it is 'GETTING OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE". If you ever feel shy, unduly self conscious, unnecessarily embarrassed or awkward about yourself, you must realize that your self-importance is at work. The mental block is not allowing you to try something new for the fear of failure and/or looking bad and your low self-esteem requires you to only look good before others. Dear friend, that is a perfect situation to REVOLT & REINVENT yourself. Just say 'hatt teri ki, jo hoga dekha jaayega' and make up your mind.

Nobody would hold you for your perceived failures forever. Nobody has time or patience to think about you as much as you do. Don't be a prisoner of your own ego. Let others judge, the same people will initially laugh at you, then mock at you, question you and will eventually follow you.

On the flip side, getting free of self-importance doesn't mean leading an ascetic or austere life. You must know how to celebrate life, dress well, travel, grow socially, occasionally collaborate, share your success stories to those who love you without seeking attention and admiration.

Stop loving yourself so much and start loving the world you are in. A lifetime is not sufficient to experience the world, cultures, arts, languages, places and people around you. Don't let yourself ruin it for you. Break the shackles.

PS: I admit my own Facebook updates are seemingly narcissistic though I always tried to use the medium only as a journal of my travel escapades, personal milestones and opinions in form of blog posts. However starting 2018, I'm considering curtailing of my Facebook activity and if possible deactivate the account too in order to walk the talk.

God Vs Religion: Why I can neither be an Atheist nor Religious !

As soon as we're born, we were assigned a label of religion, caste, sect and we live our entire life feeling great about, defending, fighting for that identity. While doing this, we believe we're defending God, rituals, way of life our God wanted us to live with. We follow our belief system and rituals because our parents inculcated those "values" into us. They inherited those beliefs from their parents and they got it from their parents and so on. But where did it all start ?

Why I can't be an atheist !

Let us back date certain events in history to the point when God presumably delivered a message to select human(s) whose teachings are being followed even today. Let me start with a brief history of our Universe.

13,700,000,000 years ago (that's 13.7 billion years ago), something mysterious happened and the space came into existence out of nothing. That event is, in scientific circles, called Big Bang. Three minutes after the occurrence of Big Bang, light elements were born and when they collided formed various elements (as we know in periodic table of chemistry) were born. Google Big Bang for more intricate details about how the numbers were derived, calculated. That would make your day for sure.

But it's out of even the finest of human minds to comprehend how the big bang occurred, what caused the sudden burst of particles, space and what was the status before Big Bang. So there could be something beyond the universe, which caused or triggered the cosmic events and that super-power which commands space, orbits, centripetal and centrifugal forces to balance the universe, theories of gravity, magnetism, electricity and other natural phenomena. That super-power can be called GOD, unless one has an alternate theory or explanation. But the GOD I'm referring to here is a formless phenomenon or nature as opposed to that benevolent entity responding to individuals' prayers. I firmly believe in my understanding of GOD and hence despite being a voracious reader of Stephen Hawking, Michio Kaku, Richard Dawkins, I can't put myself into a category of atheists.

Now read ahead about what happened after the Big Bang.

• 8,900,000,000 (8.9 billion) years ago, Milky Way galaxy was born. 
• 4,600,000,000 (4.6 billion) years ago, Solar System was formed then. 
• 4,400,000,000 (4.4 billion) years ago, water was formed on Earth
• 4,100,000,000 (4.1 billion) years ago, earliest form of life was formed from non-living matter through a phenomenon called Abiogenesis. Google that.
• 3,500,000,000 (3.5 billion) years ago, traces of oxygen were formed but the oxygen as we see today was formed only 50 million years ago.
• 1,250,000.000 (1.25 billion) years ago, sexual reproduction of organisms began. Everything living existed only under water
• 400,000,000 (400 million) years ago, land life began with vegetation, flora and fauna
• 10,000,000 (10 million) years ago, first apes formed who would be ancestors to modern humans
• 4,000,000 (4 million) years ago, humans began walking on two legs
• 50,000 years ago, modern humans as we know began to live.

A bit of future: Earth will die in the next 1 billion years and Sun will die in the next 5 billion years. So the development of the universe, world, life went through and is going through multiple epochs, evolution, revolutions, changes very very slowly.

History of Religion

So as mentioned earlier, modern humans came into being 50,000 years ago and since then humans followed burials of dead and certain social ways of life. Sumerian, Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Chinese civilizations introduced organized religions in their respective areas but those religions were long extinct.

Indus Valley Civilization began around 3300 BC (that's around 5000 years ago). The civilization is considered to be precursor to Dravidian civilization and Vedic religion which formed earlier form of Hinduism later around 1500 BC.That was the same period when Abraham, patriarch of Judaism, Christianity and Islam lived.

Vardhaman Mahavir founded Jainism and Gautama Buddha founded Buddhism in around 500-600 BC, Confucianism was founded around 500-600 BC, Zoroastrianism founded between 400-500 BC. Jesus Christ lived and founded Christianity between 4 BC and 30 AD. Prophet Mohammed lived and founded Islam between 570 AD to 700 AD. Guru Nanak ji founded Sikhism between 1450 to 1550 AD. 

Hinduism & Vedas

Me being a Hindu, would not and should not comment on other religions, their evolution and hence will back-date how exactly Hinduism came into existence and because it is the oldest religion being practiced today (along with Judaism, perhaps), other religions could have trodden a similar path.

To many devout Hindus, its astonishing to know that basic form of Hinduism began in Pakistan by ancestors of Dravidian (South Indian) folks in bronze age around 1500 BC. That's when the first religious text (still in use) was composed in the form of Rigveda, the cradle of Vedic religion and Hinduism. Rigveda is a collection of over 10,000 verses classified into 10 mandalas believed to be composed by 10 sages after whom the current gotra system is being practiced.

Though reading all vedas will take years, I have been skimming all 4 vedas for the last 10 months to understand the broad context and gist.

RigVeda is full of hymns and praises of Gods and the most revered gods were Indra (king of Gods) and Agni (Fire-God). Varuna (Rain-God) was revered too and was labeled as an asura the term which in later Hindu texts was demonized. To the surprise of many, Vishnu and Rudra (Shiva) who are pivotal Hindu Gods of the current era had very minor and marginal reference to in Rigveda on which entire Hinduism is based on. For example, Indra was the subject of Praise in 289 hymns whereas Vishnu was confined to 6 and Shiva to 5. Agni was treated as a messenger to all Gods (and hence carry prominence in hawans and poojas today). 

Another interesting fact is that the deities eulogized in Rigveda were extremely similar in traits and powers to Yamna Culture (of present day Ukraine), central Asian extinct religions like Bactria-Margiana (Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan etc) and ancient Persian cultures (Indra, the most celebrated God in Rigveda is an uncanny replica of an older Persian deity called Verethragna) and the earliest inhabitants of Vedic age were also believed to be migrated from or via Central Asian regions.

Samaveda is a musical version and a subset of Rigveda. Yagurveda later built upon from the contents of Rigveda few centuries later comprises more about homam, hawan, poojas, vrathams, yagams and rituals. Most of the rituals followed by Hindus today are inherited from Yajurveda. Atharvaveda, a much later addition is also built upon extracts of Rigveda and comprises more about spells, charms and magical binds to counteract bad omen and diseases. Atharvaveda was not considered a major veda till many centuries.

Hinduism as we know today is not founded by any one person but is a result of multiple transformations since the last 4-5 millennia. In the bronze age of nomads, survivalists, few relatively intelligent human beings in flesh and blood envisaged / hallucinated / created ways to pacify, influence and turn the unknown Superpower to their benefit and composed hymns in their praise which formed Vedas. Fortunate to them, their fellow humans had unwavering faith in their divine connection enough to practice and transmit their teachings through generations. That was some feat worth commending.

The people who lived in vedic period were semi-nomadic folks who built and thrived on Indus valley Civilization (oldest along with Egyptian and Mesopotomian civilizations). While it's widely believed that Dravidian people who flourished in the Indus Valley Civilization could not withstand the drought, natural calamities and hence migrated southbound and later Aryan tribes inherited the vedic civilization, blended their own belief system to the preceding vedic culture to shape present-form Hinduism. Vedas were subsequently adapted and manipulated by their inheritors and descendants who have been transmitting their beliefs to their next generations and that is how we are today following those traditions because our forefathers and their forefathers believed what the sages spoke of God.

Much later other wise men born in the world had the vision and audacity to stand against the people around them to re-interpret the concept of God with a new way of life founded other religions. Religions thrive on people who are willing to follow and put their unflinching faith (sometimes faith enough to die or kill) in other person's vision of God.

Final Thoughts:

Now if you don't believe in the concepts like big-bang, theory of evolution, gravity, magnetism, cosmology, chemical reactions, periodic table etc, this article makes no sense to you. On the contrary, if you believe in all those and still believe what is being preached in religions, you must have a grand appetite to hold contradictory theories seamlessly. BTW God is the only common thread which can be possible in all science, history and theology (religions).

PS: Another interesting fact. If we compress the entire history of the universe into the last 24 hours, humans would enter this world only 4 seconds ago. Religions which claim to connect to the God would be formed only 2 seconds ago and here in this second, we are trying to prove superiority of our religion over others through debates, persecution, phobia and hatred. May God bless all of us.

Using Haters to Your Benefit

Without giving too much of gyaan, let me put it down simply that whatever you think or feel about yourself, there will always be swarms of haters all around. If you watched Quentin Tarantino's "Inglorious Basterds", the Nazi colonel played by Christoph Waltz reminds that though rat and squirrel look alike except their tails and carry same kind of diseases, people loathe the very sight of the rat but not squirrel. So we are programmed to hate rats over squirrels without any fault of theirs.

So regardless what you do, act, behave or not, SOME PEOPLE LOVE TO HATE YOU. You can't do much about that but to take their hatred into your stride or ignore them or hate them back with more vigor, based on what are you made up of.

The problem usually won't be with those random chronic haters, but the other group who actually matter; those who loved us at certain point, were close to our lives, part of our journey and then turned into closet haters. The reasons for their hatred could be anything from vicious to ludicrous and could be because

• they don't like you not living as per their suggestions, guidelines and expectations
• they believe you don't deserve the love or success you experience
• they don't want to acknowledge your contribution to their well-being
• they can't accept you could do better than them in life
• they feel better about themselves by belittling you
• they can't tolerate you surpassing their predictions about you
• they simply can't stand your tastes or behavior or attitude or identity
• et al.

Some people hate and develop a grudge against you and some others stoop to slander, denigrate, manipulate, exploit, gossip, waiting for you to fail, pretend to help, humiliate to feel greater etc. 

When somebody indulges in negativity against you, that automatically generates negative energy, anger, outrage within. Now what to do with this energy decides what are you going to do with your life.

Anger Management:

You can find hundreds of articles in internet how to manage anger and how to use humor, self-control etc to ease out the anger in the best way possible but very few articles propose how to use the negative energy to your benefit. 

While retaliation sounds to be the most natural reaction, a moment of pause to know if that would impact your life in any way takes you miles ahead. If that does and if you can afford to invest that energy, time and mind to do so, go ahead and retaliate, react and respond. But if you want to react only to protect your ego, my friend, you are making a grave disservice to yourself.

Ego tussles often go in vain. Even if you win, you'll face another person doing that exact thing sooner or later. So life will be a series of retaliations and when you grow older, you'll only see yourself as that clueless gladiator indulging in imaginary fights.

Also when you react to every non-entity you are only giving credibility to their rant. You can instead rise two notches above and pretend they don't exist than getting into a dirty duel. Also you can save yourself from uttering some nonsense which can potentially haunt you in the future when you mend your fences with them.

So the simple solution is try to avoid them and cut them off from your close circles gradually without matching their vileness and channelize all the negative energy to do something more creative and knowledgeable. Though it sounds too much of a text-book strategy, it works. It worked for many. 

Take this as an example: What would you do when you haven't opened a book in the entire semester and you have an exam the next day ? The fear in you generates high pressure concentration resulting in extremely high efficiency and productivity. Same when you know you haven't maintained any accounting records and you get an out-of-the-blue audit notice, court notice etc.

Fear and anger work on your brain similarly. If you are angry, you can easily channelize all your negative energy, rage, temper and fury to thrust yourself with multi-fold momentum. This is the exact state of mind when you must take up learning a new language or say, a technology, enroll yourself into some sport, club, gym or start writing articles, blogs, books. The result will be of astonishingly superior quality.

Those who are financially stable can afford to buy a meal to the homeless every-time they are upset or sponsor an unfortunate kid learn something and then see the difference in their state of mind. If you are not easy on money, write something really nice to your loved one. Your unconditional, unexpected gesture of love will overturn the entire world around you upside down and will earn you more love. The best way to handle each hater is to express love to 5 people you adore. As cliche as it might sound, expression of love always trumps hatred and viciousness.

Though the article is more about how to handle hatred and negativity from others, proper care need to taken not to turn yourself into a hater of somebody else and especially of those who love you. In the world brimming with negative people, finding those who like you unconditionally and look forward to your friendship is rare. Hold them tight and winnow the rest like the chaff from wheat.

Ignoring unwanted people is an art. Be an artist !

A Random NRI on Indian Independence Day

In the last 9 years, whenever I wrote or talked anything appreciative or critical of India or the system in India, there were some lunatics who never missed a chance to label me a greedy traitor who fled India and have no moral stance to comment, patronize or sermonize India. My accepting Canadian citizenship a couple of years back only aggravated the narrative.

While I don't intend to generalize the entire nation of people, this article is intended to those resident Indians who conferred upon themselves the moral policing prerogative to decide who is a patriot and who is not. For others, these are just thoughts of a random Non Resident INDIAN.

• Anybody who googles will know that the percentage of Indian population which pay taxes is around 1%. Yes, you read it right. Only one percent of Indian residents pay their income taxes thanks to government exemptions, tax evasion and defaulters. That means 99% of those who live in India are utilizing, exploiting resources, infrastructure, public machinery without contributing anything.
• Most of the income tax amount comes from the workforce in IT, ITES and related services. But the services they provide would invariably benefit United States and other G8 countries but NOT India. That's an 'under-the-carpet' brain-drain many seldom have problem with. So dear software folks, you don't contribute to India as much as you do to other countries. 
• With changing times and aspirations, people in remote villages started moving to towns for livelihood; those in towns to cities and those in cities to sprawling metropolitan agglomerations. This migration is natural, inevitable for those who want to provide their children a superior quality of life, education, healthcare and other amenities. But the debate around these migrants being traitors to their hometowns and occupations didn't bother as much as those who left the country for greener pastures.
• It will be an interesting observation to analyze how many of those who decry NRIs are those who themselves never got an opportunity or those who would jump at the first chance to migrate

As mentioned earlier, this article is not aimed to denounce anybody but to throw some light on the fact that very person who lives in India is not an assets to the country but can be more of a liability, with some exceptions. In the same breath, I also admit that not every NRI is patriotic or more valuable. Not at all, but again there are some exceptions here too.

Regardless of how patriotic NRIs are, their contribution to Indian economy and society is irreplaceable.

• India happens to one of the biggest beneficiaries of remittances and FDI by its diaspora. NRIs bring in almost $70 billion every year which is roughly 75% of Indian government's planned yearly expenditure. This is Indian government's biggest ace to neutralize black money stashed in Swiss and other tax havens. Banks where NRIs deposit their money, invest in Government and other major infrastructure projects which NRIs don't regularly utilize.
• Numerous NGOs and private welfare organizations which seemingly work towards the benefit of society get large chunks of its donations, operational expenses and assets mostly from unsuspecting NRIs. Yearly foreign funds to Indian NGOs crossed Rs 10,000 crore last year which speaks volumes.
• Another major contribution is steady influx of USD which is a lifeline for RBI to control inflation, price-rise etc. This is a huge topic which deserves another blog post sometime later
• In addition, NRIs influence in foreign relations, cultural exchange is often under-estimated.

These were some generic NRI contributions but I don't claim to have any stake personally. 

For me, being Indian is more of an emotional connect than just a name on passport, skin tone, ethnicity or a few dollar bills I could remit. Like many other members of Indian diaspora, I take pride in being Indian as my identity. The first thing my eyes would glance in a world map would always be India. Current affairs for me are always Indian news; festivals, cuisines, celebrations would subconsciously refer to Indian. India is embedded, ingrained and injected into the psyche and persona regardless of where I live and I'm too proud of my Indian-ness to let anybody jeer or question my patriotism or identity.

I may not follow all religious rituals, but that doesn't take a Hindu out of me. I may not hold an Indian passport, but that doesn't take an Indian out of me. Happy Independence Day. Jai Hind