Awesome life of Shahrukh Khan

Those who know a bit of human psychology (or project management) know something called Maslow's hierarchy of needs which defines what people need to be happy or successful. And by the look of it, Shahrukh Khan has been one of the most successful people around in the era (at least in Indian context)

This article is not about deifying or eulogizing his acting prowess. Honestly I'm not a big fan of his work and liked only 2 movies from his repertoire till date, i.e., Swades and Chak De and believed all other movies of his were pretty mediocre if not painful.

Money:

Let us start with his success in terms of purely material achievements like money he made. His net worth is over $600 Million which is equal to Rs 3700 crores. Now compare with that of other celebrities whom we know are successful

Amitabh Bachchan - $400 Million
Rajnikanth - $40 Million
Sachin Tendulkar - $115 Million
Tiger Woods - $550 Million
Roger Federer - $300 Million
Tom Cruise - $450 Million
Justin Bieber - $200 Million
Lady Gaga - $230 Million
Barack Obama - $12 Million

So SRK made more money than almost all well-known celebrities in this world barring monarchs, scamsters, business tycoons or those who inherited fortunes from dads and grand-dads. Though fiscal empire should not be the only criteria to define success or happiness, one can't take away from him the tremendous grit, passion aided by supreme confidence, hard work and money management skills which catapulted him to this position from times where he had to work for a salary of Rs.50, slept on railway platforms and was paid only few thousand rupees for first few movies. So obviously there's something more to just plain numbers.

Love & Popularity:

More important than money for anybody to feel content and happy is the outpouring of love and emotional connect with people who love us. And there's no denying of his unparalleled fanbase across the globe. When DDLJ released he swept a generation of young girls off their feet and instantly became an ideal boyfriend and a prince charming for every girl who wanted their Mr.Right to come, capture their senses, convince their parents and take them off to another world full of bliss. And guys experienced some vicarious escapist pleasure looking at his onscreen persona. And the trend didn't die down even today.

NRI's adore him like none other and it's evident in any overseas show he performs or attends. I've been a witness to the mad rush once at IIFA,Toronto. Though SRK never used his religious identity to expand his fanbase, thanks to that identity, he is adored across the Muslim world ranging from Pakistan, Middle-East to Southeast Asia because the masses there identify themselves in his success and onscreen escapades. His worldwide fanbase (among other entertainers) in terms of number comfortably surpasses that of Justin Bieber, Amitabh Bachchan or Rajinikanth.

If even after so many people loving him is not success, read along

Business Acumen:

The difference in fortunes made between him and other successful movie stars was his business acumen. He is an astute businessman who knew when, where and how to invest. He's been one of the foremost celebrities to venture into IPL when it was only the area of seasoned businessmen.

For those who believe he just makes money from advertisements, think about this. He owns a company called Red Chillies TVC which produces those commercials. So he's making money with both hands. He ventured into Red Chillies Entertainment (movie production), Red Chillies VFX (special effects company), Red Chillies Idiot Box (TV content production). Together he manages around 200 employees and gets richer by Rs 5 crore everyday. Just Whoa !

With real-estate investments across the globe and minting money through stage performances, constant business expansion along with his regular movie acting and production, he can give a run for any trained, educated IIM-MBA's money. Did I mention he was invited by NASDAQ to ring their bell (usually businesses honchos are the privileged lot) ?

Off-screen personality:

I must confess that while I'm not a fan of his movies, I'm pretty impressed by his wit, humor he presents in his off screen conversations, interviews and the kind of spontaneity he presents off-screen. Very few can carry off the sense of humor on the sleeve as he does and that doesn't exclude lampooning himself at time.

If you ever watched his views or opinions of serious subjects including terrorism, religion, corporate sector- he's more than articulate and more than often makes sense. He's intelligent !

Family:

The man who wooed and married his sweetheart and doesn't mind blushing and doting on his kids, takes care of his elder sister, doesn't miss an opportunity to express how much he misses his parents can always be an ideal family man.

Lifestyle:

All money minting tycoons are not lifestyle conscious and we can't generalize that everybody who is rich knows how to carry himself / herself. It's not about the brands or labels he wears but he is one of the best dressed people in the Indian page 3 circuit. Famous for smelling good and his fetish for well fitted clothing, he's a dream showstopper for any designer.

When he moved from an independent house in Delhi to Mumbai which boasts of apartment culture, he aimed at buying a plush independent house in Mumbai against the norms and now he owns one of the most majestic heritage buildings which is exempt from demolition and happens to be tourist spot too. With offices, theatres, library and many more amenities in his home, he knows how to live life King Size

So a person who amassed countless fans, immeasurable love, maintained normal family life, turned his dreams into reality, built an empire around himself with grit and intelligence has to be successful and his life has to be content and just awesome !

Chandrababu, YSR and KCR - A Tale of 3 Telugu CMs

At the outset, this article is not a direct comparison between KCR, YSR and CB Naidu or their performance as chief ministers of two Telugu states because one of them is no more and for the other two 6 months is not a lot of time to judge their performance especially when they are working in different political terrains now. This is rather my random rambling about their way up the political ladder and their political styles.

Almost a decade ago, I had a unique opportunity to work with AP political leaders across the spectrum including Loksatta's Jayaprakash Narayan, then assembly speaker Suresh Reddy, CPI's ex-MP Suravaram Sudhakar Reddy but what stands out head above shoulders was the working relationship with Chandrababu Naidu and his cotorie of TDP. Without running into any intricacies of the nature of business, let me just affirm that I spent quite some considerable time with most old war horses of TDP's politburo apart from the chief's son Lokesh and current AP cabinet minister Narayana (of Narayana colleges). That was the era after TDP lost power to YSR's juggernaut.

In many of my casual conversations with office bearers and low rung executives (most of them Andhra settlers), I discovered that recurring undercurrent among them was certain reverence to K.Chandrashekar Rao (KCR) who already was making high decibel movement in favor of separate Telangana through his TRS party. They felt KCR was one of the most disciplined, hard-working and efficient workers of TDP earlier and his contribution to boss' speech-writing, media management etc was immensely missed after he left TDP to launch TRS.

Honestly I was (am) not a big fan of KCR's confrontational politics but it doesn't take away from him that he has been the most significant Telugu political leader in the last 15 years. With a law degree and a masters in literature, he happens to be one of the most academically qualified CMs in India and arguably one of the best orators the country currently boasts of. His charm in Telangana is not lesser than NAMO wave or Modimania which gripped the countrymen and NRIs alike.

It also remains that KCR is the most hated Telugu figure unequivocally and almost unanimously hated by all Seemandhraites, settlers for his vitriolic and hate-mongering politics. But it takes an extraordinary leader to thrive despite the hate by polarizing almost entire Telangana behind his belt, confronting everybody ruthlessly (including his competition), resorting to high pressure drama spanning years and coming out unscathed and with flying colors.

He is hated for getting things done his way through means propelled by his selfish agenda, settling personal scores, power brokering, blackmails but history takes note of him as a fighter and winner for his cause (for good or bad). Like him or hate him, nobody can ignore him. He made possible which was almost impossible at one point, by blending political machinations, ruthlessness and surfing on the popular sentiment

Chandrababu Naidu is diagonally opposite of everything which KCR is. A non-communicator, non-orator, non charismatic. In 1994 when he staged a dramatic coup against NTR, I was 14 but politically aware. At that point my family was pro-congress thanks to our distant relationship with PV Narasimha Rao and my late grandfather's political equation with him. So I was neither perturbed nor excited about what was happening in Hotel Viceroy. Actually that incident brought in me some interest about current affairs and political happenings which was otherwise made insipid and bland by previous CMs like N Janaradhan Reddy or Kotla Vijayabhaskara Reddy.

What caught my mind later was frequent surprise inspections of government offices by new CM CBN himself which was never tried earlier. For general public, all politicians were blood sucking, disinterested rogues but when this guy started akasmika thaniki, followed by other public engaging programs like janmabhoomi, sramadhanam - he was a breath of fresh air. So technically he involved general public in social activities much before Modi did with Swachch Bharat abhiyan.

Chandrababu later started appearing on prime-time TV call-in shows where he interacted with general public. Regardless of how efficient the programs were and who benefited out of those, he showed that he was trying to reach out to the public - atleast average middle class urban households like mine. Nobody else could have thought of those initiatives at that point.

When he captured imagination of youth and tech-savvy intellectuals by bringing in Bill Gates, Bill Clinton to Hyderabad, built cyber-towers, catalyzed IT boom and laid out blueprint foe the lives of thousands of IT and ITES employees, he was making all right moves. Politically too, a leader who could revolt against an idol like NTR but still survive, faced minority ire by making pact with Vajpayee but still survive - could go no wrong. He was almost a superhuman. But what happened in 2004 was unimaginable.

YSR completely swept the carpet under his feet by taking all grassroot level, non tech savvy, agro based voters who were intimidated by CEO like CBN under his fold. I'm not sure if YSR himself expected the kind of success he reaped after padayatra but for CBN, it was a deathblow.

In my view YSR was the most politically aware and calculating politician among all Telugu leaders till date. Termed as perennial dissenter among congress circles for decades, he finally catapulted his party to power against all odds including a supposedly rockstar CM, a respected PM Vajpayee's aura, KCR's undercurrent Telangana sentiment.

YSR optimally channelized anti-CBN and anti-suave wave in favor of him and very intelligently transformed CBN's swarnandhra pradesh slogan into harithandhra pradesh directly targeting 70% population of the state depending on agriculture who mostly disdain technology or educated urban class. Incidentally, YSR himself was a doctor. His political prowess made sure he was the only leader who could reign in KCR and his maverick politics.With rajiv arogyasri and other schemes which his fans can't hold their blush, he was on the cusp of being the longest serving CM before an unfortunate accident bluntly cut short one of the brightest political careers of the state. His death gave a lease of new political life to both CBN and KCR who sit as chief ministers today

Back to 2014:

After struggle, hate, innocent deaths, irresistible sentiment and Sonia Gandhi's poor calculations - Telangana finally became a state in 2014 and KCR crowned a CM. KCR came to this position through confrontational politics, which in turn increased his mass fanbase and credibility among pro Telangana activists, but it seems the CM continues to be in that mode even today.

Though I admit that TV9 is too propagandist a channel with a foul mouth and should have been regulated, banning them was no solution. KCR wanted to make a statement that those who oppose him have to bite dust. This actually doesn't work in democracy. With absolute majority in the assembly and among masses of Telangana and with almost no resistance or alternative to him in the state, he is busy consolidating his power and grip on the state and it's resources.

But when the CM gets into verbal duels and confrontation with media, prime minister, central government, governor of the state, chief minister of the neighboring state or literally everybody who don't follow his diktat, he is actually hurting the state, himself and those crores of people who stood behind him. And when his son tweets anti Diwali or anti-Hindu statements and his daughter declares anti-India sentiments to attract few votes, things are definitely going down hill from there.

Chandrababu seems to making right noises by aligning tightly with central government and industries. When neighboring states like Karnataka and Tamil Nadu get worried about him to the point of asking PM to control him, it indicates something is going right in Andhra state. Devising grandiose plans for the state, attempting to pull investors from everywhere and most importantly not spreading hatred among regions, declaring that he would felicitate Telangana stalwarts in Andhra unlike his Telangana counterpart, things are staring towards new dawn.

Being a Telanganite myself, I would love my CM to be a face of reforms, accelerating growth and superior infrastructure in Telangana and would also like CBN to succeed in all those sky high ambitions. Hatred and development are mutually exclusive and diagonal in the public life which can't go along.

Travel Diaries 3 - Switzerland

This article is long long overdue. I love blogging travel episodes as much as I travel but could only write about few misadventures and not all travel experiences as yet. though I wrote about US west coast and Hawaii way back in 2010-11, I`m heavily backlogged and what better place to rekindle the series than with Switzerland - rightly sobriquetted heaven on earth.

That was September 2013 when we headed on to our family expedition to Europe and ran into some unexpected turn of events (both good and bad) and were left a bit sour towards the end of our Italy tour. We were in pursuit of a real getaway from a mess (will blog that in travel diary about Italy) and we could not ask for a better place.

Train journey from humid, tropical central Italy towards Alps of Northern Italy bordering Swiss brought in a holistic change in the climate, mood and the entire canvass. We arrived to a small town called Interlaken (in the German spoken part of Switzerland) sometime during late evening and retired to bed after a tiresome journey. We could not exactly comprehend the surroundings in the sleepy town at the outset but could hear river flow and swaying woods.

The dawn brought to us one of our happiest and most pleasant days. Pristine unadulterated backdrop, swiftly flowing river just in the backyard, snow capped mountains in the vicinity swept us off our feet. Before we could relish ourselves completely, the ticking clock was teasing us. Quickly finished breakfast and headed to Jungfraujoch, supposedly the highest point in Europe.

While the steep train journey towards the peak in itself has been a tourist`s dream, the top of the mountain can`t be explained in words. Despite having visited Banff, Jasper and the glacier there, Jungfraujoch is in a completely different league. First hand experience of Alps`snowfall, the ice museum and surprisingly a bollywood themed Indian restaurant made our entire Europe trip worthwhile.

Next day in the itinerary was Lucerne. We had no real idea what was in store until we boarded the train to the city. If anybody asks me what could potentially be the best train journey ever, I`d not mince my words before suggesting Interlaken-Lucerne visuals. Almost all bollywoodish movie duets were choreographed there. Ridiculously lush green meadows, belled grazing cattle (Swiss icon), frequent springs and waterfalls, turquoise lakes, winding train tracks, friendly people around - I can just feel everything all over again.

Lucerne is a bigger town than Interlaken, bit more commercial, crowded, better infrastructure and I dare say - more beautiful. On the banks of swan populated lake, archaic old town, die to experience climate. I felt how lucky could one be to retire and spend their post retirement phase of life in Lucerne. I don`t rule that possibility out ;)

From Lucerne we had been to a day trip to Mount Pilatus, almost similar to Jungfrau, but the steepest cogwheel train trek in the world was worth it.

Next stop in our expedition was the most famous city of Swiss, Zurich. Financial capital of Switzerland and hub of Indian black money ;) Zurich can be compared to Toronto or New York City or Paris (though much smaller than all three) but better infrastructure, helpful crowd. Not much for nature-lovers though. We had to route our journey through Zurich to connect to our next stop which was Innsbruck in Austria.

The only off-note among so many good picturesque memories was exorbitant cost of living or traveling. Easily the most expensive country in Europe (atleast among those I traveled).

Another travel diary soon.

The Curious Case of Ram Gopal Varma

It's been 25 years since Ram Gopal Varma's Shiva released. Incidentally I just watched (quite unfortunately) his short movie on Lakshmi Manchu's legs. RGV came a long way or rather stooped a long way from his dream big bang debut to his sad state now. During late 80's "Shiva" came like a breath of fresh air for me. At the age of 9, I so loved the slick, subtle way, novel camera movements, lack of any unnecessary dramatics or larger than life characters.

Then came a splurge of movies with his distinct mark like Kshana Kshanam, Rathri, Gayam in Telugu and Rangeela, Satya, Company in Hindi which are all examples of his true brilliance and genius. I later understood the strong inspiration he'd drawn from The Godfather trilogy, Martin Scorsese and Alfred Hitchcock movies but he blended their finesse with his own vision resulting in such epics. I believe his best times ended during the phase when he turned a bad emulator of Quentin Taratino, a genius himself but was junior to RGV in the world of cinema.There started his curious case..exactly like that of Benjamin Button

The man who showed the country what underworld was, directed nonsensical crime thrillers like Contract, D, James, Shiva 2006, Satya 2, Department which have no hangover of his previous masterpieces whatsoever. Other forgettable movies like Jungle, Daud, Mast, Naach, Nishabd, Darling, Agyaat, RGV ki Aag, Ice Cream blah, blah and blah made his case even more curious. His horror movies like Kaun, Vasthu Shastra, Phoonk, Phoonk-2 are at best badly made b grade remakes of The Exorcist and Hitchcock flicks.

Sarkar and Rann were kind of saving grace but again Sarkar Raj, Rakhta Charitra were marred by his eccentric camera angles (which were more irritating than novel), unnecessary decibels in background and not to mention bad screenplay. But as an erstwhile fan I watched all the above mentioned movies just in anticipation of good movies, Each time he announced a film, I hoped it was his comeback only to get convinced that his era ended but..this Manchu lady's feet shortie is a culmination.

While he can be tolerated for his bad movies, he started his moribund interviews, irreverent tweets, arrogant blasphemy and PR minded controversies with certain shock value. He famously declared that no director can predict the outcome of their vision and audiences who don't know movie-direction shouldn't criticize. It's similar to saying that people who eat at restaurant shouldn't criticize the chef for bad food if they themselves can't cook.

I read somewhere that he's buried in a mire of debts running to several crores and his desperate compulsion to stay afloat in news by making some stupid comments on twitter only to provide some visibility to his films reflects a very sad and sorry state he is now in for the kind of visionary he once was. A man revered on a pedestal along with Maniratnam, Shekhar Kapoor and dubbed Scorsese, Hitchcock or Taratino of India is now at best, a history.

Regardless of his current box office stamina, creative vision or execution, one can't take away from him the credit of establishing a parallel genre of cinema which shook the entire generation and produced a school of directors, actors most of whom are currently raising the flag of RGV brand high. Hope that'd be his legacy.

My Tryst with Teaching !

"I think the teaching profession contributes more to the future of our society than any other single profession" - John Wooden

So true, yet teaching is one of the most underrated and thankless professions because every successful student believes the reason for his success was his own talent and merit whereas every failed student squarely blames his teacher or school for his failure. Or maybe that's sheer human psychology.

Teacher-student bond that's formed in very nascent stages (like around 2-3 years) is very strong. That's the age when kids' mind would be very ripe and fertile and they subconsciously yearn for knowledge, learn language and are usually curious to explore the world. A very sensitive age when they try to repeat, re-enact elders. While parents are most responsible for child's mental development, it's also the initial set of teachers who make or break a kid in that phase.

I strongly believe that a person's character, aptitude and attitude is formed based on what one learns and experiences during primary and middle school phases. That's the tender age when one needs to witness a live person demonstrating knowledge and inspiring young minds towards wisdom and ways of life. No books or internet sites can replace a sane teacher's ability to transform an innocent kid to a thinking and aspiring adolescent.

This is the age which decides if the kid would become a responsible citizen abiding by certain duties and collective consciousness or turn into a bum, thug, criminal or a terrorist. Those teachers who could ignite the imagination, creativity, awaken latent potential and inspire some hope in young minds could make a lasting impact on students' life. And those students go on to change the world around them.

What my teaching career taught me !

Personally, I didn't change the world around me but I strongly believe whatever I learnt and practiced till now is a direct result of all my teachers who taught me, inspired me, created awareness, demonstrated how to utilize the knowledge in the best interest of my career and life. Wikipedia and Google have lately occupied the stature and respect which usually teachers deserve. Reasons could be partly bad quality of teaching and equal vulnerability and naivete of students to believe what they see in internet is more accurate than what their teachers explain. I admit that I learnt a thing or two through wikipedia but my ability to grasp and extract knowledge from these internet sources was instilled by my teachers.

My tryst with the profession of teaching was accidental and least expected. After studying engineering and MBA and further working for few years in IT field, I never ever in my wildest dreams did imagine myself teaching a bunch of grown up corporates or aspiring students. I should credit the unflinching support and faith of my ex-employer who saw something in me that he wanted me to teach his students as makeshift arrangement while he was attending something more important. I initially reluctantly took the job but discovered I enjoyed the work, eventually started loving it. And it's been 7 years without looking back.

In these 7 years of teaching, I grew as a communicator, negotiator analyzer and acquired many more traits while transferring my knowledge and experience to others. I learnt that teaching is not just telling or explaining stuff but narrating an entire pretext where and how the knowledge would be used. Teaching made me a story-teller because I understood the importance of captivating the audience before I could teach a lesson or two.

While teaching subjects like project management and business analysis to experienced corporates or knowledgeable aspirants, I was expected to reach certain standards myself in terms of knowledge, posture, behavior and ability to address questions and concerns. Hence I improved my knowledge base, pronunciation, pace and diction which helped me in many other ways. Thanks to my teaching career, I got a decent hold on vocabulary (both business and technical), body-language which I could not have got it otherwise. I had to manage and lead a group of 20-30 people, set agenda, not allow the group to lose focus and drive the point home taking everyone along. This brought out some latent leadership and managerial skills out of me. 

While teaching, I had to understand individual pain points, realize that everybody was not made with same level of aptitude and hence I had to bring in variation and cater to the least common denominator. This brought out certain kind of empathy wherein I could stand in my students' shoes and judge myself. There were some situations when some very intelligent students caught me off guard which brought in humility in me thus giving a reality check to my arrogance, if any. My teaching profession made me more flexible, better decision-maker, an extrovert, a consultant and a better social person. 

I don't know how my trainees look up to my contribution in their success or enhanced knowledge, but I live with certain satisfaction that I'm a miniscule part of the bandwagon called "teachers" who strive to penetrate the knowledge forward through generations. May be this is my way of social contribution while improving, challenging, discovering and redefining myself consistently.

Happy Teachers' Day (Sep 5th) to every teacher who taught me something in life directly or indirectly, wittingly or unwittingly, through lessons or experiences or by just being around me to inspire.

Excessive Cultural Pride Leads to Terrorism

World in last 1 month or so

• Israel killed almost 300 naive civilians in a densely populated Gaza strip of Palestine, some of them women and children
• Ukrainian Rebels shot down Malaysian Airlines civilian flight killing close to 300 people
• Boko Haram killed almost 350 people in Nigeria
• ISIS killed hundreds in Iraq and Syria
• Thousands killed elsewhere in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Kenya, Philippines etc

And remember, these casualties were only in June-July. And there is one reason for all these murders and destruction - That's excessive pride is one's own religion, culture and ethnicity. I guess this epidemic of excessive pride in prevalent across the globe, every country, every region, every community.

The modern pride-hate combo started during Nazi regime when Hitler legitimized unprovoked holocaust, mass murder of almost 6 million jews. This led to jewish emigration to Israel which gave impetus to another long, volatile and violent conflict between Jewish Israel and Arab Palestine. While Hitler has been and rightly should be condemned for the worst crime in the world history, Israel-Palestine conflict is such unfortunate tussle that one can't take sides because both parties bay for the blood of other just because they follow an alien culture.

Israel historically belonged to Jews but were pushed to oblivion by Muslim and Arab invaders in their expansion roll. During world wars, Jews emigrated to Israel in large numbers and pushed Arab Palestinians into hardships in Gaza and West Bank. The reason for this jugalbandi is hate towards one another. Arab Muslims could not stand Jewish's culture and hence invaded and converted them; later Jewish couldn't stand persecution by Arabs and Nazis alike and retaliated with force on Palestine. 

Unfortunately both groups play victims to other's terrorism. But the excessive pride in their own religion, language and culture among both Jews and Arabs fuelled hatred against one another and created unfathomable, tangled conflict of civilizations which even today takes lives of innocent people regularly.

ISIS, Al-Qaeda, Muslim Brotherhood, Boko Haram, Taliban unleashed an unprecedented and undeclared war on western civilization or everything non muslim or to be precise non sunni because they can't stand anybody not following and submitting to their cultural and religious pride.  

While in India:

Though not as bloody as Middle-East, India too is plagued by religion / region / ethnicity triggered madness fanned by politicians and religious leaders alike.

Kashmiris feel oppressed and are abetted by Mujahideens like JuD, LeT, JeM in their drive against Kashmiri pandits and India in the longest violence in South Asia. The violence took the toll of over 50,000 civilians. Ulfa's pride in assamese culture triggered another long anti Indian armed struggle killing thousands. Khalistani movement and anti-sikhs riots took a toll of thousands, right wing Hindu fundamentalist groups like Bajrang Dal, Ranvir Sena killed hundreds

Though not violent and murderous, the underbelly of hatred and regional discrimination is being carried out by politicians like Raj Thackeray, KCR and leaders injecting venom in names of marathi Manoos, Telangana, Gorkhaland etc. Leaders like Karunanidhi, Vaiko fan anti-Hindi and pro LTTE sentiments. Implied hatred by leaders of political parties aimed towards particular vote banks like MIM, BSP, SP, Shiv Sena, SAD, RJD is largely prevalent. 

The common theme among all these parties, leaders, politicians is to scare their voters, subjects that their culture, region, religion, community was in danger due to the atrocities of others and thus should retaliate in kind through hatred and discrimination. Sometimes the rhetoric gives way to violence and eventually into terrorism

Be it India, Middle East or East Europe; at the end of the day, it`s ordinary civilians who get swayed by excessive emotions, sentiments and pride about their culture and ethnicity that turn into terrorists for their purported cause to unleash havoc towards others; and one day the same people get engulfed by the fire they once lit. 

Valentine's Special - 8 Stages of my Love Story

Can't believe I have known her for the last 8 years and married for almost 7 years. As I look back I realize that our love story gradually transformed from an harmless internet friendship to a long distance courtship and then to accomplished marriage to blissful parenthood. Quite a journey, it has been. A note on St.Valentine`s Day remembering and reminiscing 8 stages of love during the last 8 years.

Stage 1: Infatuation

The most beautiful stage. That strong urge to always think about her and talk to her. Those days which started and ended with her thoughts. Those late nights / early morning calls which went on forever. Those dreams to have her in my life and arms forever. Being illogically and childishly infatuated is a bliss that nobody should miss.

Stage 2: Anticipation

Next stage was anticipating and planning life together. That stage involved knowing each other`s likes and dislikes better, befriending each others` families and friends, managing and changing priorities, dreaming how our married life would be and doing everything to make those dreams come true.

Stage 3: Romance

Much anticipated stage especially after 2 years of international long distance relationship. Those sweet nothings, holding hands, long drives, candle lit dinners, listening to each other, falling head over heels all over again many times and basking in that unprecedented attention and affection.

Stage 4: Creation

Next was creating our own world. Converting 4 walls of house into home, slowly converting our dreams into reality, steadily reaching self set short term goals, building social relationships, making family friends and stabilizing our very own small world

Stage 5: Understanding & Acceptance

Surviving misunderstandings and friction caused by mutually exclusive priorities and then understanding others`points of view. This stage is about exploring some unknown and latent preferences of the better half and accepting each other as a complete package as opposite to the best front presented earlier. This in my opinion is an important stage to realize that love is much more than attraction and anticipation of living together. It`s actually accepting the love of our life with all qualities which we may not necessarily agree with. This is when true love begins.

Stage 6: Complementing

Complementing each other (mind it, it`s complementing not complimenting) worked like a cement for foundation. After realizing each other`s positive and negative areas, the success of marriage is directly proportional to how they support, supplement and complement each other thus locking the perfect relationship and concealing the other from fear of failure or any apprehension.

Stage 7: Pride

Then came the light of our life to teach us purpose to live. Our son, our baby. He came, he saw and he conquered our senses in such a way that our world turned upside down for good. He has been making us beam in pride. We as parents grew together, learnt parenthood, discovered how to create and nurture love in a tiny being. We are basking in the glory of shaping an attitude, behavior of a 'person' from inception. Wow, we feel so important !

Stage 8: Complete 

Now this is a stage when we no longer have to express or tell how much we love each other in any way. Mutual feelings are understood, told, perceived and acted upon without any need of words or gestures. Love is appended by great levels of comfort level, understanding, respect, importance and security.

Love is in the air. It`s everywhere. Happy Valentine`s Day

PS 1: Don't bother about those who dissuade you from celebrating Valentine`s Day. We need reasons, logic, rationale to avoid days to hate, not love. We just need a reason and excuse to celebrate and express love. Nobody loses anything through expression of love.

PS 2: बुरी नज़र वाले तेरा मुह काला 

Homosexuality - Unnatural but not Unlawful !

When Supreme Court of India announced that Article 377 which criminalizes all homosexual activities would be reinstated, my first doubt was how Supreme Court or law machinery could get to know who committed the 'crime' unless somebody peeked into bedrooms of gay couples !

Ìndia is torn between two opposite arguments for and against homosexuality. The progressive society believes that being gay is a personal choice which is endorsed by many liberal thinkers. I beg to differ. Homosexuality is not a 'choice'; nobody chooses to be naturally hetero or homosexual. They are just made that way.

I may be judged to be regressive for saying this but I believe homosexuality is against the nature though I'm all for LGBT rights and against discrimination. Man and woman are made with different body structures, genitals, reproductive systems. They are made to get attracted to each other, make love, give birth to children, continue legacy and humanity in the world. That`s nature and nobody can argue or refute it, no matter how vocal supporters of LGBT rights they are.

But not everybody in the world is made alike. Some people are mentally, biologically made in a way that they are attracted to the same sex and they can`t overturn it. It`s not their mistake; it`s not a disease either to be cured. It`s just abnormal. Some people are made to get attracted only to animals. That`s not a disease either. Just not mainstream, that`s it. But just because they are not mainstream, they don't deserve discrimination and social outcast.

During my school and college days, 'hijra', 'kojja', 'point five' were abuses which meant weak, impotent. These words attracted immediate retaliation and repulsion. That`s how the society was (and still is). This is the very reason gays were more closeted until the dawn of new millennium. Open debates, revolution for rights became more visible in the recent past. Literary works, 'Dostana' type bollywood movies, success of gays in fashion industry and open declaration by many celebrities suddenly created ripples and affected the inertia in the society. This attracted a large repulsion from the more conservative circles of the country, which was not necessary.

As mentioned earlier, I personally am against any kind of discrimination against gays because they are minorities in terms of sexual orientation. Society is made of different kinds of people belonging to different religions, castes, creed, physicality. Minorities in every way deserve and should be provided equality as per Indian constitution. But the latest supreme court ruling against homosexuality was a big contradiction or blunder, if I could say so. If you check those prominent people who supported latest Supreme Court ruling , they are Baba Ramdev, Vishwa Hindu Parishad, All India Muslim Personal Law Board, Church groups. What a unity in diversity !

Two countries I represent, India and Canada are poles apart in acceptance of gay and homosexuality but the more intriguing fact is that Britishers passed almost same law in both countries in mid 1800`s. In mid 1900's, Canada legalized same sex marriages and is forerunner in LGBT rights to the extent laws against any kind of discrimination, laws favoring surrogate pregnancy for lesbians etc were passed. When we visited Montreal in first few months after immigrating to Canada, I was a bit surprised to see gay villages, gay stores, gay friendly restaurants where two gays romantically enjoying their candle light dinner, gays kissing for photoshoot after wedding. Initially it was a bit of culture shock for me, but I couldn't resist appreciating the society for providing them the environment to live their lives happily. Afterall they are just being themselves without harming or hurting anybody else. So why should anybody else be worried ? So if Canada could break shackles of regressive British laws, why can't India ?

I saw many internet forums and twitter where homophobic Indians claim that homosexuality is against Indian culture. Whoa ! They should first visit Khajuraho temples where purportedly graphic statues representing gay and animal sex were prominently displayed. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar of Art of Living mentioned that Lord Ayyappa was born to Hari and Hara (meaning Vishnu and Shiva). Rigveda also infers homosexuality to certain extent. So its not culture or religion. It`s purely mindset which is bent to repel anybody who are different to them.

If the court believes that homosexuality may create social issues, doesn't rape do so? And we see the number of rape related incidents occurring on a daily basis. Homo or hetero, any non consensual forceful act should be considered a crime and justice should be delivered. Its none of court's or law enforcement's business to peek into private lives (which they can anyway not do). It`s time judges and courts put their personal preferences and penal code laws separately. It`s also time for general public to stop stereotyping or typecasting gays because they are just living their life without imposing themselves or their lifestyle on you. As long as homosexuality is not compulsory, why do you worry ?

Arvind Kejriwal - A Case Study on Leadership & Management

Arvind Kejriwal is dubbed as a giant killer who turned from zero to hero in just 2 years, which is undeniable considering his spectacular entry on to the electoral politics arena. He captured senses of intelligentsia and masses alike because he executed what hordes of armchair philosophers could just preach. Beyond his political maneuvering lies his excellent embodiment of two often confused behavioral traits - Leadership & Management.

Since independence, India has been looted by political parties infested with corruption, vote-bank politics, communalism, nepotism, regionalism. People were aware of this but came to terms that they had no alternative. But there was always a simmering anger under the carpet which was tapped and fanned by the Team Anna movement a couple of years back. Anna Hazare was not a rookie in anti-establishment agitation. He had a long history of crusades but was reduced to Ralegan Siddhi and some pockets here and there. He didn't have a national image. A man called Arvind Kejriwal identified the vacuum and catapulted a nation wide movement through Anna's name and fame.

Kejriwal was not the first person to act against corruption. Loksatta's JP Narayan shared similar principles, but he proved to be elitist and philosopher who could only talk. He didn't involve people or instill combative spirit like Kejriwal did. JP was a dreamer, strategist and a bureaucrat, but there is a catch. He's not a LEADER. Leader is somebody who leads from front, who motivates, directs, guides people who trust him. Leader sets an example, shows path, is accessible, is a sharp communicator, a problem solver, a trouble shooter, a negotiator, a decision maker, a time manager, a team player and is flexible. Leader is Arvind Kejriwal.

Some leaders have charisma; they can trigger mass hysteria with their voice, mannerisms, votebank identity, gestures, dramatics or mere presence. Indira Gandhi, NTR, MGR, Salahuddin Owaisi, Modi and to some extent Laloo and Mulayam fall under that category. Kejriwal lacks that charisma or political glamor. Neither does anybody care about his caste or community. But he balanced that lack of charisma with another trait - managerial skills

While his leadership skills were at display during his struggle for RTI act, anti-corruption crusade, his managerial skills were evident in the way he carried Team Anna campaign and his AAP electoral campaigns.
It's debatable if Anna needed Kejriwal or vice-versa because the Team Anna movement became a household name only through Kejriwal`s brainchilds like viral campaigns, social media awareness, streetside acts which`d put the best of marketing minds to shame.

Kejriwal did right thing at right time under right conditions. He got things done by many external and internal factors. That was management.

When he started Aam Aadmi Party, he clearly knew there was an anti-congress wave and made sure another rival BJP doesn't grab the cake. Hence he deliberately started attacking BJP over corruption and communalism despite the latter not being in power either at center nor at Delhi where he was going to contest. But his ploy was to paint Congress and BJP in the same color so that he could take advantage of the anti-congress wave. And that ploy worked in his favor.

Kejriwal is an astute orator and a shrewd thinker. He has answer for every question or criticism he faces. His speeches and interviews brim of moral supremacy but he knew how to play political cards well. He carefully dubbed BJP as a hardliner communal party but chose not to say a word against MIM, Akali Dal, SP, BSP or many other religion or caste based parties. He even took the support of rabblerouser Muslim cleric who announced bounty on somebody`s head. He clearly knew who his target was. That was management.

He played fairly well with media too. Media chose to highlight AAP`s splendid performance over the majority grabber BJP. Arvind is being eulogized left, right and centre though he failed to recreate the magic of NTR or Prafulla Mahanta who rose to power in few months of setting up a party. But antipathy of certain sections of media against right wing politics or BJP and public anti incumbency wave against congress was aptly utilized by AAP and Arvind Kejriwal.

Leadership is a quality which influences and motivates others to follow ones path whereas management is an act which gets things done by others. Arvind Kejriwal balanced both with clinical precision and the rest is history.

Things fell in place for AAP till now because the party is exempt from any expectations or results. They had nothing to lose or prove till now. The real game begins now. Lok Sabha elections is a different ballgame. Team Anna was at pinnacle in 2011 when Anna was hailed as the most powerful Indian then but the movement lost its relevance the following year. Ramleela Maidan and Jantar Mantar of Delhi swayed to the movement, but Mumbai protest was a grave disappointment. History may repeat with AAP. It is to be seen if Arvind Kejriwal is a consistent and a long run leader and manager or not. Time answers.

Checklist for Groom Hunt !

Marriage is a gamble, be it love or arranged. Teenage and young adults around early twenties are vulnerable to getting carried away by transient factors which may cost their lifetime of happiness. Liking somebody and being happy with them are completely different things which may not necessarily go hand in hand. While nobody can judge or advise whom to like, I made an attempt to suggest single girls what kind of guys can keep them happy and comfortable. Here goes the checklist to watch out for:

1. Possessiveness - Though it sounds fairly harmless, this can be a single major reason for hell on earth for girls. There is a difference between concern and possessiveness. If a guy breaches that line and steps over individual freedom, that can get on your nerve sooner or later. A control freak, misogynist, insecure, male chauvinist guy suffering from inferiority complex can be lethal for a healthy relationship. So even if you like a guy, see if he respects your freedom. If you believe you can deal or adjust with his possessiveness, you are being very naive. It's a huge no-go
2. Decisive - No girl really feels comfortable with a guy who can't take decisions or relies on others for push. In years to come, he should be a head of your family, manage finances, society around, kids and many more. He should be mature enough to understand and analyze situations, assess options and take reasonable decisions on time. Again there is a difference between overconfidence and conviction which he should know.
3. Responsibility & Security - Single reason for getting girls married to older guys is to make sure they are in safe hands. Doesn't always means body guarding or getting into brawls with street goons to save her honor. Nothing so filmy. But a guy who feels, expresses and maintains responsibility and takes care of his girl's physical, mental, emotional, social and biological needs, securities is a right guy.
4. Attraction - Girl should marry a guy who adores her, treats her like a princess, feels lucky to have her around and takes pride in showing off his girl. Every girl is beautiful and will find a guy who goes crazy about her. You just have to wait and find him. Life becomes much more beautiful and romantic.
5. Family connection - Marriage is an alliance of two families. No guy or girl can peacefully co-exist with their spouse who hates their parents; nuclear families are no exception. Get into relationship only if you strongly and positively believe you can get along with his parents and he doesn't build bridges between you and your parents. It takes compromises from both sides to get along with people of different backgrounds but if it clicks, it makes a lifetime of difference.
6. Sense of humor - Though you don't need a standup comedian to tickle your funny bone all the time, check if the guy has some sense of humor. Life is too short to be seriously planning and panicking all the time. A guy who can make you laugh with even his silliest antics is worth it.
7. Charming - When you get married to a guy, he's introduced to your world of friends, cousins, colleagues, relatives. Though it's not important to keep the society happy, it helps if your guy is charming enough to spell magic among your circles with his charm, wit, etiquette, choice of words, gestures and social behavior. Who wouldn't like compliments about her better half ? That would add spice and beauty to the relationship
8. Expressive - Look for a guy who is expressive, who can show how much he loves you. That one quality will sweep you off your feet many times even after marriage. 
9. Monies - Though not absolutely necessary, life is better with luxuries than with paucity. As a saying goes, a successful husband is one who earns more than this wife could spend. A guy with good financial standing, potential to earn big can save you from a lot of gloom, inferiority complex, adjustments, compromises and agony. If you have a choice, opt for a richer guy. As simple as it goes.
10. Looks - Not the most important, hence the last in the list. Just imagine your life where you wake up (and also go to bed) to a suave, athletic, TDH guy. Wouldn't life be beautiful ? Also he's gonna share his looks with your kids-to-be. So don't be in perennial denial that looks are immaterial.

So girls out there, run this checklist through a guy whom you fell in love with or your parents proposed to you. It's never too late until you tied the knot. And if you think this would help your loved ones, feel free to share !

Other relationship based GYAN at:

1. Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage
2. Love Affair Lifecycle
3. Whom to choose between Parents and Life Partner ?

How Sachin Became God !!! Something Beyond His Cricketing Skills !

World has seen many celebrities, heroes, icons, legends, masters but it takes a special character and mettle to be addressed as God. It takes Sachin Tendulkar to be a God !

Unlike many others, I don't know nuances and intricacies of cricketing shots, drives, cuts and hooks. So I'd refrain myself from eulogizing the man for his batting technical skills. I'm nobody to judge or comment because his consistency, records and status scream much aloud. But just success and technique doesn't make anybody God. There must be something else too. Otherwise how can over a billion people, many of whom as cricketing illiterates as me, would kill to watch him play ?

Cricket has been a religion and a part of lifestyle of Indians since 1983 world cup. I remember avidly following every match in 1987 Reliance world cup and thereafter like fellow crazy countrymen. Everybody was an armchair commentator and expert analyst suggesting and cursing players for not playing to their sensibilities. Amidst the likes of Gavaskar, Kapil, Shastri and Srikkanth, masses of India wanted somebody who could play like their dreams. And there arrived a man - SACHIN TENDULKAR

He began playing like everybody would have dreamt to play if given a chance. He made everybody's wildest fantasies come true. His shots, running between wickets were more aggressive, playing to galleries unlike stars of that era. Just like a movie hero would provide escapist pleasure to viewers who imagine themselves in the actor's shoes and derive imaginary pleasure, Sachin provided similar inexplicable substitutional pleasure to those millions who earlier aspired or dreamt to play or wish to see somebody play like that. Boom ! Then started a mania, mass hysteria. Guys emulated him, girls swooned over his looks, advertisers hounded him and this curly haired young man became a rage of the country.

He was not the only person to blast the area with his blistz. Many more rose meteorically like Narendra Hirwani who took 16 wickets in a test match. But there was a glaring difference. Others were metaphorically and literally meteors and their fall was as fast. Sachin was an exception there. He entertained an entire generation who swayed along his bat and who passed over the legacy to their next generation.

By the time the next generation took reins, he already proved his mettle as the best and most talented cricketer around and justifiably was not susceptible to rookie judgement by fans anymore, notwithstanding a handful of haters who wanted to hate because they didn't want to subscribe to the majority verdict to prove they were mavericks.

Sachin's transition from the best player to the GOD is inspiring and interesting. The Gen X & Y saw much more than his batting technique. They actually loved his personality and most importantly his fame and respect.

He is one man made of small built, humble background, squeaky voice, soft spoken nature - all qualities exactly opposite to the conventional macho and handsome masculinity. In short, he is a normal, average, boy-next-door kinda Indian. And yet, he came, saw and conquered the world. That clicked bigtime among equally average but bustling mass base of India. They could identify themselves with his success. He plucked them all off from their dormant inferiority complex. so it was not only about his technique as mentioned earlier.

Another quality of Sachin - his personality and temperament. It would not be an exaggeration to say he is only next Indian to Gandhiji to show the kind of resilience, determination, pressure-handling composure and consistency for such a long duration on a national stage. And this analogy should not look ridiculous if one follows the success graph and the grit put on display.

Sachin always spoke with his bat. He never resorted to theatrics, histrionics, media frenzy, public relations, explanations to answer his critics or opponents. He forced his opponents to respect him, yearn for his acknowledgement and approval. He gave Indian cricket an ominous look.

If India was put on pedestal on the international fora in something, we must thank Sachin for that. Sachin became a reason behind self confidence to those crores of fans who saw their compatriot leave behind the who's who of the world behind. They beamed with pride to show-off that Sachin represented India. He brought India more accolades than anybody else could in the history of the nation. He represents the collective glory and pride of the country. We can't thank Sachin enough for that.

So, it was not just about his batting technique or records, but a wholesome package called Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar. Bow to the MASTER !

PS: If you are yet not convinced with any of the above, just come to terms with the fact that his mother's name is "Rajni" and his coach name has "Kanth" in it. Now can we agree that he's God ?

Don't be Perfect !

Oscar winner Daniel Day Lewis (actor of Gangs of New York, Lincoln) is notoriously perfect to the tune that he lives his on-screen character even off-screen during filming. While filming for a certain paralyzed character, he reportedly remained on wheelchair even while not shooting and expected his staff to lift the wheelchair around (!!!) - all in the pursuit of perfection. And he is not an odd man out in the world of such lunatics.

Some real live examples of perfectionists I encountered:

1. One of my friends reads entire "terms and conditions" in websites before clicking on "I agree". LOL !
2. My cousin demanded amendments to some very insignificant condition in a job offer letter for a lucrative and challenging dream role he aspired for. The company rather chose the next guy in line.
3. Some of my relatives spend entire festival day cleaning, mopping, brooming their houses because for them festival is all about cleanliness. By the time they lay down, it's already bed-time.
4. My ex-colleague always wanted everything so perfect that he never bothered missing client deadlines in his attempt to make a "nice" document.
5. Some trainees I teach spend months together to research on a simple topic enough to write a PhD thesis, just to understand the outline. Crazy souls !

I have never been perfect in anything I did and that was not out of choice; I just can't be perfect, I'm not made that way. I'm disorganized, a bit clumsy, lazy. I seldom sport clean-shaven look at work, often go on a pair of jeans to meetings, procrastinate things and am everything diagonally opposite to being perfect, but things are fairly working out for me because I aim for efficiency, not perfection - totally different concepts.

My simple doctrine about why perfection is bad:

1. Perfection makes one lose focus - If you have to achieve or reach a target, you should know your priorities and let go few details which aren't integral to the journey. The key point is "letting go".
2. Perfection is unattainable - Perfection has no limits. Even if you are perfectionist and put everything very perfect, there would be somebody somewhere under the sun to show you that something else needed to be done. So perfection is subjective.
3. Perfection means under-achievement - Perfection demands intricate detailing of everything which strategically means underachievement because more emphasis is laid of the process instead of the result.
4. Perfection is against creativity - If you have to create something or establish a business, you have to try many things - most of the initial few attempts would be failures. So one can't work forever on each attempt to reach the final version.
5. Perfection is anti team-spirit - When a team works towards a common goal and one person cribs for perfection in unnecessary details, it obviously leads to tension and conflicts in team
6. Perfection is overrated - The word perfection sounds elite but a lot of times, perfect body of work is grossly over-looked. Nobody actually cares how perfect the product is and what kind of effort went into it. So perfection is overrated. Rather get things done quickly and efficiently and chill !
7. Perfection causes depression - Perfectionists are often lonely and suffer from anxiety and depression because of their zeal and passion they put and for good or bad, most of the times their success is inversely proportional to the passion and expectations.
8. Perfectionists are judgemental - More often than not, perfectionists are the first among equals to judge others' ways of work. That adversely affects human relations
9. Perfectionists can't deal with failure - Perfectionists are usually hyper-sensitive, pessimistic and their nature is propelled by the very fear of failure. In the attempt to avoid failure, they lose valuable time and resources. Same result !
10. Perfectionists are always busy - In an attempt to be perfect, perfectionists more often indulge in slogging over-time whereas clumsier peers when efficient do things much better in a shorter time 

Bottom line - Know the limit, set a deadline, draw a line and let few things go. I repeat LET GO !

Europe Trip - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly !

20 days, 8 countries, 4 alien languages, 7 cuisines, 9 modes of transport and lifetime of memories. Going on vacation to Europe with my family had long been my fantasy. Now that it's been a week we returned from one of the most memorable, anticipated, awaited, dreamt trips, here is a brief account:

The planning:

Coordinating leaves and vacation plans of 4 of us was an herculean task in itself. Once it materialized, the entire processing of visas, flight, hotel, travel bookings and research took at least 2 months. With a toddler around, shopping and packing took a month or so. So it was a cool 3 month pre-trip planning we had to do for a 3 week tour.

We had to dilly-dally between opting for a packaged tour or plan our own trip, but chose the latter for the flexibility we needed with our kiddoo.

The Good:

First things first ! Europe is stunning, awe-inspiring, mind-boggling and fantastic. Every city has it's unique signature, historical pride, grandeur or canvas that newer countries like US or Canada can never replicate.

Brussels, Belgium: We had zero expectations about Brussels but the small city dazzled me. The city had one of the grandest squares called Grand Place which even put the best of squares in even Paris and Rome to shame. The unique Belgian-French culture, cuisine and the pride they subtly demonstrate is worth experiencing.

The huge atomium brought back memories of Venkatesh's Bobbili Raja movie as at that point, I wondered what that huge structure was. Now when I saw that song again in youtube, I realized most of the song was shot in Brussels.

Paris, France: The lesser said, the better because words can't sum up the aura of Paris, known as the city of love, city of architecture, city of history. Even if one misses (must not though) Eiffel Tower, Monalisa at Louvre Museum, Notre Dame etc, just roaming around the streets of Paris gives goosebumps. Every building in the historic part of the city is a treat to eyes. If I ever visit Paris again, I'm gonna spend a week to absorb the richness and flamboyance of the beautiful city. Eiffel Tower is much more magnificent than I thought. The view from top was astounding

Not to mention, every youngster I saw in Pairs was beautiful, fashionable and attractive. No surprise the city is rightly dubbed as a fashion capital.

Versailles, France: The magnificent palace of Louis and later Napoleon should only be seen to believe. Exuberant flair and splendour

Rome, Italy: We spent 3 full days in Rome and that still wasn't enough. Among all the places I visited till date, Rome is very very unique because of it's perfect blend of old world history and modernity. Every place, square, monument screams about the mighty Roman empire. The colosseum must be a world wonder. I was just awestruck with the phenomenal historical baggage, the city associates with itself.

Vatican city, Vatican: A country within a city. One of the most sacred places on the planet. A huge square, a magnificent dome and a splendid cathedral demonstrate the rich roman catholic culture, architecture.

Pisa & Florence, Italy: Pisa is a small town which only boasts the skewed Pisa tower, a marble structure which attracts flocks of tourists day in and day out. Florence is a neighboring town which at first reminds us of a postcard or a painting. There is one huge cathedral and dome which signifies the city and a lot of pedestrian tourist area. A nice experience

Venice, Italy: Venice often appears as the most beautiful city of the planet unanimously in all surveys. Such is the aura behind the city of canals. My parents compared the city with Backwaters of Kerala (which I haven't visited yet) but the city is beautiful and just the thought of system of canals as mode of transportation rather than mostly overlooked roads is a dream of any romantic person.

The city undoubtedly is romantic to the core and everybody must go on a gondola ride on grand canal before they die

Interlaken, Switzerland: If you want to be overwhelmed with natural beauty and go crazy to the point of screaming your lungs out, you should visit Interlaken in Switzerland for sure. A very small town looks much like a film setting in the backdrop of snow capped swiss alp mountains, rivers, lakes. It's like a definition for the word Picturesque.

Daily trips to the adjoining Jungfrau and other alp peaks, cogwheel rail routes along lush green meadows with signaturesque cows, the must see ice palace and views from the top are dreams for any backpacker.

Lucerne, Switzerland: Just when we felt Interlaken has blown us away, Lucerne showed us that in Switzerland, every place is a notch above the other. Relatively bigger city with perfect weather, river, lakes, swans, beautiful people. For a moment, I thought why wasn't I considering immigrating to Switzerland. Lake cruise and then the steepest cogwheel train in the world to the top of Mount Pilatus was a once in a lifetime experience.

Zurich, Switzerland: The biggest city in switzerland was our transit stop where we spent a day. A bustling city is no match for previous 2 cities but still is one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

Innsbruck, Austria: Austria is generally considered as non-commercialized version of Switzerland. Innsbruck is a small town in a valley surrounded by snow peaked alps that can never slip out of your memory. A perfect retirement destination :)

Cologne, Germany: One of the most bombed city during world war 2 shows the backdrop of German might. Taxis are all Mercedes, Audi, VW and BMW's ;) On the picturesque backdrop of River Rhine, the huge old age cathedral and chocolate museum were worth seeing.

Koblenz, Germany: A small and fascinating town on the river banks, pedestrian tourist streets, cable cars, confluence of rivers. Simply amazing and beautiful.

Amsterdam, Netherlands: This is one city which swept me off my feet. A unique blend of old buildings, system of canals, abundant museums, mode of commute make it a mixture of Venice, Rome and Paris. An amusing tourist attraction is a red light district popular for it's hookers and drugs - everything legal there.

If I have to recommend anybody planning to visit Europe, I'd strongly advise them to include Amsterdam in their itinerary. I just fell in love with the city

The Bad:

Coming from Canada, I expected continental Europe to be as developed with amenities and facilities only to get disappointed.

• Not recommended for wheelchairs or strollers: Most of the places including subway system or railway platforms of alpha world cities like Paris or a tourism paradise like Venice don't boast of elevators or even escalators at most places. That made our life a bit difficult where we had to carry baby-stroller and luggage.
• Roads and infrastructure: Roads are narrow (compared to Toronto or any major city in US) and parking can sometime become a nightmare. In Rome, people also park on pavements
• Driving in Italy: Italy is much like India in terms of road etiquette. To keep it simple, nobody follows lanes or lines
• Manual Gears: Cars are manual and hence those with no driving experience in India should avoid renting a car in Europe, period !
• Language: Mind it, English is an alien language in all of continental Europe. So you must be particularly excellent at dumb charades or throwing key words at people while (trying to) conversing.
• Hotels: Hotel rooms are inconvenient and much smaller than North American counterparts. Nowhere can you see AC's (even in 5 star hotels)
• Water: Every restaurant or hotel or any place you go, you have to buy water. Water might be more precious than oil there.

The Ugly:

Some awful experiences (Disclaimer: These are based on our experiences and not generic judgements and hence everybody may not face same situations)

• Racism: I perceived the level of racism is a bit on a higher side. Brown skinned people are relatively rare and are looked upon with some scorn by some people to the extent of xenophobia. Though racism is universal, not everybody expresses that as much as certain sections of European societies.
• Rudeness: Every culture is different and hence we can't expect the etiquette of North America or hospitality of India. Europe didn't demonstrate either
• Pickpockets: One will see warning against pickpockets and thieves every nook and corner.I felt I was being careful until I lost my wallet too (ironically the very previous day I bought a new one and before I could replace the old one, I lost it - the old one)
• Anti-English: People there publicly denounce English and the speakers are looked upon with contempt. If you speak in English, they tend to avoid you (even customer service or roadside assistance support guys).
• Irresponsible: Airlines lose baggage and look unconvincingly cool after that; car rental guy doesn't replace broken-down car; hotel receptionists don't cooperate during late check-ins; basically they don't care.

Nevertheless, these bad experiences were negligible when compared to lifetime memories we garnered, grandeur and splendor we witnessed, monuments we saw, cuisines we savored and some exceptionally sweet people we met there.

Postface:

Europe trip will always hold a very special place in my heart not just because of beautiful locales or grand monuments, but because I had my family with me. Actually the trip was planned to mark the celebration of my mother's 50th birthday and I wanted to take my parents to some exotic place which we all could cherish for our lifetime and which makes them feel special. I'm more than satisfied and I hope this would just be a beginning.

And the most relieving this of the trip was about my 16 month old son. Initially I was apprehensive about his diet, tiredom and if he could adapt to our continuous journeys. But surprisingly he woke up along, ate whatever we ate and behaved like a grown up. Actually he enjoyed much more than the rest of us. He gave us confidence to plan for more trips now ;)

PS: Coming soon - an article about our long forgotten trip to Mexico last year end.

Telangana and Samaikyandhra - Two sides of the same hypocrisy

At the outset, congratulations to all those who dreamt and fought for Telangana and sorry to those who struggled to keep Samaikyandhra intact. With due respect to all emotions, struggles and hullabaloo, I could neither understand nor subscribe to either movements. Not that my opinion counts but I'm still skeptical if Telangana sentiment was more foolish or Samaikyandhra more hypocritical.

Those clamoring for united Andhra Pradesh are the very people who iconize Potti Sriramulu for breaking Andhra from erstwhile Madras state. If the concept of separate Andhra from Madras made sense, why can't the same logic be applicable for separation of Telangana ? And if all the struggle is about Hyderabad, why fake it as "samaikyandhra" ? isn't it just a hypocritical misnomer ?

Love and attachment towards Hyderabad is one but anybody claiming that one section of people developed Hyderabad must understand that Hyderabad was made capital of AP because it "was already" developed before merger of Andhra and erstwhile Hyderabad state. They claim that exodus or investments in Hyderabad was because it was made a capital city of AP which is refuted by the fact that New York City is never a capital city of US and neither is Mumbai a capital of India despite being investment magnets. Resources and potential in a place attract investors from all regions so that they prosper from those resources and not the other way round. More about this subject in my earlier blogpost Who Developed Hyderabad ?.

And what's the rationale behind demonstrations and protests now ? I see some ridiculously illogical comments on social media that Andhra people should now take visa to enter Hyd (!!!) or Telangana would be taught in schools. God bless their intelligence. Wonder if they always took visas to enter Chennai or Bangalore. Who stopped them from investing or or developing businesses or leading a happy life in other cities / states ? Won't the same logic applicable even now with Hyd / Telangana ?

Just when I'm amused by these samikhya drama, endless celebrations by Telangana supporters beat my brain to death. Silly people, did you ever hear about similar separation saga called India - Pakistan ?? Didn't Pakistan have all the reasons under the sun not to co-exist with India ? The popular sentiment attached with religion was much stronger, demonstrations were much more intense and they got what they wanted and celebrated much more than what you are doing now. But is current day Pakistan the way it was envisioned by it's founding fathers? Bangladesh had many reasons to split from Pakistan. Doesn't history scream at you ???

Forget about other countries, ask Kashmiris or Khalistani separatists; their struggles for separation have been bloodier, more intense and spanned multiple generations. They feel they were betrayed. Take any agitation or prolonged protests, every movement is rooted in strong sentiments, emotions and drama. That doesn't mean agitation is always right. The only difference between those separatist movements and Telangana movement is former are fighting for separation from India while latter from AP.

My heart goes to all those innocent kids who laid their lives for others' aspirations. I also feel bad for all those students and youth who wasted their valuable time, effort, energy in their struggle for Telangana in real and virtual worlds. They seemed to know all statistics and hundreds of reasons to justify their agitation. But I wonder how many of them will see a dramatic change in their lifestyles just because a portion of their house address is changed.

If their struggle was to eliminate disparity in resource allocation or step- brotherly treatment as they clamor along, amendment of some laws was sufficient. They have to revisit before and after situations of Indian independence. Freedom fighters had bigger reasons to fight against British and they suffered for a bigger cause. They had A REAL REASON to fight against. The so called  British looters at least developed infrastructure, railways and unified India under a single rule. But what happened after independence ? 66 years of self rule has only ruined the country. Though the analogy may not be perfectly applicable, the context will definitely fit in.

Also since the issue is about other regions utilizing your resources more than you, how about fighting for independence from India because whole of South India shares your Singareni Collieries or Ramagundam power ? A separate Telangana country with even more autonomy and sovereignty ? Sounds good ? No, because we are culturally bound with India and so we are with AP.

It's high time that all those who ran along streets with Jai Telangana protests should realize that they catered to aspirations of some politicians who wanted more avenues to loot. If you have balls, fight against those looters, not against those with whom, your fathers and grandfathers co-existed for decades. All the horseshit justification about disparities, unfair shares and bunkum will be here to stay. This time between different districts, cities within Telangana. There are caste divisions, economic disparities, communal conflicts, corruption and scams which are bigger culprits to victimize you. If you forgot all those and invested all your time and energy only to fight for regionalism, you are just a bloody naive pawn in a game played by powerful to satisfy their ego and political aspirations. You didn't serve your family or society. period !

Before concluding, I must pat politicians for their shrewd execution of plan by inculcating regionalism, senseless emotion into thousands of silly protesters.

1. Marri Chenna Reddy fuelled large scale Telangana agitation and took it easy when he was given Chief Ministership. Wah !
2. KCR re-ignited the same movement after two decades when his boss CBN didn't confer him a ministry. Wah !
3. YSR promised Telangana before 2004 elections but kicked it's butt after getting elected. Wah !
4. CBN promised Telangana as a part of Maha-kootami before 2009 elections but made a flagrant U-turn. Wah !
5. BJP supported Telangana clearly knowing they have nothing to lose in Seemandhra. Wah !
6. But the master-stroke is from Sonia Gandhi under current context. She:

• Realized that congress will be rooted from AP
• Declared Telangana with caveat for KCR that he should merge TRS with them while enjoying CMship. Thus Telangana belongs to Congress and all Cong / TRS MP's support UPA in 2014 polls
• Will negotiate with Jagan (post poll alliance) to either merge or unconditionally support UPA in 2014 polls in return for CMship and clean chit from CBI. Andhra state too in pocket
• Checkmated BJP who promised to declare Telangana if they come to power
• Checkmated TDP in Andhra for not acting against split-up and in Telangana for not doing anything for separation.
• Wareh, wah !

And if Telangana people are as foolish, they will still vote for TRS-Congress alliance or merger and live their lives exactly as they lived in united AP. If Seemandhra people are equally foolish, they will still vote for Jagan thus indirectly helping UPA government against whom they are currently agitating. And I'll wait to write another blog-post then.

My tales about Aashiqui & Aashiqui 2

I know a lot of people who claim Aashiqui to be their favorite music album. For me, it goes much beyond that. I was 10 when the movie released and till then I had no particular favorites among movies, songs, actors etc.

One fine day in a song program chitrahar, I saw this song "Nazar ke saamne" which stuck my ears and I got unusually addicted to that. Next few days, I got my parents buy me a music system and I purchased my first ever audio cassette "Aashiqui" with my pocket money for Rs.16.

The kind of words used in those lyrics were part urdu and part poetic hindi which I hadn't come across earlier in my bookish hindi references, I didn't know who the actors were, forget about the music director or singers. But those songs stirred my tender soul in a very big way. Such a big way that from that day till date I've been listening to those songs continually at least once a month...yes, for the last 23 years.

Aashiqui's album has a song for every emotion. If you ever fell in love, ever heartbroken, ever in awe, ever in anticipation, ever in romance - you would know what I meant. It was a collection of anthems. It was sheer poetic, romantic, soul-stirring and EPIC.

Thus Aashiqui's music opened floodgates to my music sense, but also more notably transitioned me from childhood to adolescence and further to adulthood. I enjoyed melody, music through those haunting renditions and understood the essence of the word "favorite". Nadeem Shravan became my default favorite musician duo and Kumar Sanu, the GOD.

The hangover spilled over to similar instrument and rhythm driven melodies of Saajan, Sadak, Deewana, Phool Aur Kaante, Dil Hai Ki Maanta Nahin, Sapne Saajan Ke, Dil ka Kya Kasoor, Dilwale, Jaan Tere Naam and many more till 1995. My wife often says that I got stuck in early 90's which in a way is true. No music genre did that magic to me later on. Close on the heels come Ilayaraja and RD Burman-Kishoreda immortal classics.

Even today, Aashiqui's album is formidably placed as the most number of music units sold in the history of Bollywood at 1,50,000. Only 3 other movie albums could cross 1,00,000. This proves I'm not the only crazy fellow around :)

Fast forward to 2013: When Mahesh Bhatt announced the making of Aashiqui 2, I got terribly disappointed and felt somebody was ripping off a part of my heart. Moreover am not a big fan of Bhatt camp's steamy flicks genre which was at its nadir with Sunny Leone's jism sequel or whatever. Aashiqui music was so close to my heart that I deliberately avoided the music album of the sequel. Didn't even heed to the noise created among chartbuster arena. But yesterday I reluctantly bought the DVD and watched the movie today.

Honestly (and surprisingly) I liked the movie, narrative and the interwoven music. Or maybe I liked it because I saw it with rock bottom expectations with a huge grudge and ego. Though there are some technical glitches like immature acting, ametuer taking etc, I felt this is one of the honest and intense love stories of recent times. A true romance, a melodramatic love which takes viewers to peaks of emotion, which melts hearts, which chokes throats and which stirs souls; or maybe it's just I who felt that; or maybe you must watch it with heart !

And something I hate to admit is that I loved the music too. 'Tum hi ho' is hopelessly addictive and so is "sun raha hai na tu" (especially female version sung by Shreya is matchless). Since history can't be repeated, the magic of Aashiqui can never be recreated, but Aashiqui 2 with it's intense love story and haunting music stands firmly.

A Manipulator called Dhoni, a Mafia called BCCI, Brokers called Media, Politicians, Police !

Some interesting facts about BCCI and current cricket controversy post IPL 6.

• BCCI president Srinivasan heads India Cements, a $750 million company and yet brazenly defies entire country's unequivocal demand for his resignation from his post of BCCI president. What's so dear about BCCI ? Fishy, isn't it ?

• MS Dhoni who has a say in selecting Indian cricket's playing eleven is a partner (and indeed a ghost owner) in a sports management company 'Rhiti sports' (a third grade company with a shabby website) which manages endorsements of Ravindra Jadeja, Suresh Raina and others who are default members of Indian team and his Chennai Super Kings team. Fishy, isn't it ?

• The very Rhiti Sports company is a marketing sponsor of Chennai Super Kings team which is owned by BCCI chief Srinivasan's India Cements. And Dhoni is a vice president of India Cements. A full circle of conflicts of interest by Srini-Dhoni combo. Fishy, isn't it ?

• Srinivasan is carefully guarded and diplomatically saved by BJP's Arun Jaitley, Anurag Thakur and Congress' Rajeev Shukla (cabinet minister too). BJP and Congress members who can kill each other in Lok Sabha stand together to save tainted BCCI chief. Fishy, isn't it ?

• Bookie Vindoo Dara Singh was introduced to Srini's betting son-in-law Gurunath Meiyappan by Dhoni's friend and partner (Rhiti Sports owner) and the same bookie was accompanied by Dhoni's lady at matches..bwahahaha...Fishy, isn't it ?

• Sreesanth and co who were caught red-handed were not banned or reprimanded by BCCI. Fishy, isn't it ?

• Srinivasan didn't resign but just "stepped-aside" to facilitate the probe against his son-in-law. Look at who the investigators are - BCCI secretary Madgale, BCCI paid commentator Ravi Shastri. And the incumbent interim incharge of BCCI is Jagmohan Dalmiya, another notorious lobbyist and pro-Srinivasan cronie. Fishy, isn't it ? 

• BCCI, a multi billion dollar worth association is the richest sporting body but is neither answerable to Government, not accountable to RTI act. Nobody knows what's going on with finances;  Fishy, isn't it ? 

• Indian cricket has continuously been administered by politicians and businessmen who have nothing to do with cricket. Eg: Sharad Pawar, Narendra Modi, Farooq Abdullah etc. Why on earth are they interested in cricket boards ? Fishy, isn't it ? 

• Media has been constantly and strangely discussing BCCI / IPL controversies one after another starting with Sreesanth, then Vindoo, then Gurunath, then Srinivasan, then Dhoni and......on and on. All this especially when central government was under a juggernaut of coal scam, railways scam, dismissal of ministers over corruption etc. Not even Maoist attack could divert over-indulgent media from their orgasmic excitement over the cricket chain of controversies. Fishy, isn't it ?

• Delhi police and Mumbai police have been so extra efficient in finding out the chain behind IPL betting and fixing racket that they have been fighting against each other for control and credit. Where were they when rape cases (on a daily basis), law and order situation, protests are going on unabashedly. Why are they so interested in cricket fixing over multi thousand-crore scams ? Fishy, isn't it ?

Cricket is not just a sport, but a religion in India and saying that is a cliche. Passion and obsession about the sport made it attractive, lucrative and hence justifiably attracted politicians, businessmen, lobbyists, underworld, bookies, fixers, con-men alike thus alienating the religion from it's followers i.e., genuine fans.

Gone are the days when there was a Dada to show what winning spirit was and a Jammy to show what being a gentleman was. Soon would there be a day when there will be no Sachin to show us what brilliance is. Cricket like WWE and beauty pageants would soon become a sham, a scam and a shame.

Naxalism - A Dirty Menace

At an early age of 6 or 7 years, I had a vague idea of what Naxalism was because of my grandfather's political affiliation to CPI(M). Summer vacations were spent predominantly in the village which had some strange affinity towards communism which unanimously elected my grandpa as sarpanch consecutively. Naxalism was treated with respect and evening entertainment was all about song and dance performances by revolutionary balladeers. I was put under a strong impression that naxalites were true patriots and everything related to western world was treated with contempt.

It was late 80's when the naxalite movement was in it's zenith and quite often we could see some news of naxalites blasting railway stations or cops or radio stations etc. I was a bit puzzled because the kind of blasts and violence in news didn't quite add up to match the patriotic image of Naxals I was inculcated earlier.

After few years of confusion came Gaddar's revolutionary song cassettes and R.Narayanamurthy's string of red movies which I thought spearheaded more hatred and anarchy than the good they did. I thought the art was more anti-state and anti-rich than pro-oppressed. Continual violence and destruction of public property only exasperated my disdain towards neo-revolutionaries. The final nail in the coffin was outrageous series of extortion and abductions carried out on their behest which enjoyed unconditional support of so called revolutionary balladeers, poets and writers. The entire RED revolution seemed so farce. That was the beginning of my hatred towards the movement which propelled me to know more about the background, motive and objective of Naxalites.

Basically naxalism is all about staging a coup against India from India on the lines of Mao Zedong of China who successfully did that in his country and then was responsible for millions of deaths in China most notably the Tiananmen Square massacre. China's resurrection towards being the power centre started after his successor Deng Xiaoping initiated the rollback and triggered massive economic reforms. And here in India, insurgents not only want to follow the failed ideology but also changed their outfit's name to CPI (Maoist) and have proved themselves to be anti-globalization, anti-liberalization, anti-reforms, anti-development and anti-people. Period !

Revolution and insurgency can be understood if it is for the benefit of the country, but the knowledge in public domain is that Maoists were and are in direct collaboration with Lashkar-e-Toiba, LTTE, Nepali Maoists and many other terror outfits and anti-nationals like Arundhati Roy who did everything to destabilize India..and all this in the mask of being people's revolutionaries.

It's not a secret anymore that the ammunition and funds Maoists or erstwhile Naxalites collect is through extortion and opium trade comparable to Dawood Ibrahim and Mumbai underworld. They have been doing this crap since almost 5 decades in the best interest of tribals and oppressed. But the fact remains that the very oppressed still remain oppressed while wealth-creators and landlords lost their fortunes. Again things don't add up here.

While these anti-nationals loot, murder, extort, blackmail government and civilians alike, there are affiliated groups like human rights groups, revolutionary writers' association and other bunkum to perpetrate their propaganda and cry victims every time they die. The hilarious charge is about fake-encounters when maoists die as if there are ethics to be followed to purge the society from the rot, menace and shit called maoism.

Yesterday's ambush attack from 200-300 terrorists to kill 27 was heart-wrenching. Though I'm not a big fan of congress party's ideology, this dastardly attack by anti-people terrorists on democratic leadership is heinous. But I always doubt how difficult would it to be decimate the menace from terror infested red corridor of India ? Why can't government of India utilize it's state-of-the-art defence technology and guerilla warfare to rip off the rot of the society ? If they couldn't do that from last few decades, how efficient are they considered to be in wake of any external exigency ?

Union government must realize that it's soft policies against internal terror is taking lives of scores of commandos, soldiers, police in attacks like Dantewada, Bastar and more; and it's just matter of time before the matter slips completely out of control. In that case, the only alternative would be wait for the central committee members of maoist politburo or whatever it is, to just die their natural death and the cadre to lack direction and ideology. Till then we are good to outrage as and when such attacks occur.

English Vinglish - Lost in translation

I agree that Sridevi's comeback smash hit "English Vinglish" is all about spectacular triumph of determination, grit and character over much overrated flamboyance or elitism, but this blog-post is not another movie review.

The flick was not a hit just because of flawless acting or impeccable direction, but majorly because it provided an escapist pleasure to an overwhelming majority of Indians who were made to feel inferior, neglected or humiliated in some way due to their inability to communicate in good english; and all said and done, they form a humongous majority despite India ironically being one of the biggest english speaking workforce.

My own experience: Back in 1997, when I moved to Kurnool to pursue my engineering studies, I had to hesitantly share accommodation with 3 localites who hailed from telugu medium education. That world was completely alien to me because like everybody else in my society and times I was raised with the notion that convent education was the nirvana and everything else was inferior.

I was mildly shocked when I learnt all of them got EAMCET ranks below 1000 whereas I got 4 times that. And a bolt from the blue was when I started feeling like an idiot in any topic of discussion, both in terms of education or otherwise. They were supremely knowledgeable and I felt like a midget. That was an eye-opener for me. But unfortunately none of them could make a career they deserved. Blame it squarely on the corporate world and the anglo-aristocratic mindset of hiring managers.

Also later in my career, I've met quite a few people who were fantastic at their core competence and who could have brought much to the table but had to confine to mediocrity thanks to their achilles heel, the language. Those were the times when I saw the relevance in the famous saying by Albert Einstein that if a fish was judged by its ability to climb a tree, it would spend its entire life believing itself to be stupid.

Later in my career till date, I've been meeting people day in and day out who are better communicators, presenters with better vocab, more flamboyant, dapper than me. I realized and admit that am not a good english speaker or writer but thanks to my reality check of engineering days, I strongly believe that english language or the associated flair is just a channel of communication and the real essence lies in the gist or content; once this was clear, everything else fell in place. I have been trying to mask my weakness by channelizing strengths in core areas and that seemed to work.

If this piece of advice could bring solace to anybody else in my shoes who feel out of place communicating in english, just fix it in your mind that communication is all about injecting your thoughts into other persons' minds (or vice-versa) in a way that they understand every bit of what you say and language is just a medium.