However stupid or moronic a person could be, he will have admirers for sure. However practical or disinterested the person could be, he will get affected by admiration and respect he receives, period !
Our social behavior depends on how seriously we take admiration shown by others, how emotionally we connect with our admirers and how grounded we can be despite positive attention. This makes a hell lot of difference in public perception and self confidence too. So handling admiration is as important, if not more than handling criticism (handling criticism will be addressed in my next blog post).
Admiration - taken seriously:
Admiration or liking is often unilateral or one dimensioned. Except immediate family members and close loved ones, nobody likes us for whatever we are. So if others express their admiration, its only because they like certain talent, behavior or physicality in us. Such admiration should be wholeheartedly thanked, appreciated but can't be construed as unconditional love because if those admirers are exposed to us as a package, their admiration may (!) turn into resentment :) The best way to handle such situations is to enhance, develop, project traits or talents which are admired without letting the success affect our behavior in other areas.
Perfect example for this is political entry of Chiranjeevi. People flocked to his movies because they liked him onscreen. But he took the popularity way too seriously and rest is history ;) Most of the celebrities undergo this syndrome and unintentionally become susceptible to their ego and over-confidence.
Some people may genuinely like us but that can be due to misinterpretation or false projection. Virtual world including internet, facebook, twitter, instant messengers made easy for people to selectively and subconsciously present themselves to the world and there is ample scope for online buddies to misinterpret what is said, written, shown or projected. Any admiration based on such misinterpretation is always short-lived.
(BTW, there is a popular joke gone viral that nobody is as good looking as their facebook display picture and as ugly as their drivers license. LOL. Don't know about others, but that's apt in my case :P)
Time changes. So do opinions and tastes. Those who like us today may not really have the same feeling tomorrow. So unless and until the admiration is consistent, it can't be taken to head. Some people say good things out of courtesy which doesn't mean we should go overboard and start imagining ourselves to be on the top of the world. And not to mention, there will always be people who admire us with a preset agenda / hypocrisy. So always take flamboyant praises and lavish paeans with a pinch of salt before succumbing.
Connecting with admirers:
The first thing to do is not to take anybody for granted just because they expressed their liking towards us. Their liking or admiration can be temporary but the respect we can earn by reciprocating love by some genuine affection by smile, hug and other gestures will be permanent.
World is brutal and finding people who like us is not always easy. We may or may not always get close to those we like, but we always have an option of becoming friends and build relationship with those who like us. No two ways about it. We can't choose blood relations, but we can definitely choose friends, soulmates, 3-am-buddies and whats better than building up such relationships with those who like us. huh ?
But another aspect of connecting with our admirers is to project ourselves as a complete package so that they can decide if they can really tolerate us or not ;) And invariably we will see a lot of them drifting away which is healthy because we can understand whom to take seriously and whom not to.
I posted this status on FB few days back "Life is long enough to meet people who genuinely like us. Experiencing love from them is boon ! World is big enough to find people whom we genuinely like. Expressing love towards them is bliss !" and I meant every word. Just that we should identify who like us and whom we can like. Its not easy, but its worth !
Letting go of people who don't share positive feelings anymore is equally important. As mentioned earlier, times do change and subsequently people do change; circumstances and situations change. We may have to face days when somebody who admired us the most drift away; we should be large hearted to let go because they may have a lot of reasons to revisit their opinion and in that case cringing to retain the "impression" or opinion is futile and meaningless. Don't take it too personally. If some go away, new people come into your life (remember: life is long enough and world is big enough)
Being Grounded:
The direct and immediate consequence of being admired is steep rise in confidence levels in a positive way and ego in a negative way.
Whenever somebody expresses their admiration, try to think about all our negative traits and then analyse if that person can like us despite knowing those traits or not. This exercise will invariably keep us grounded even in case of the most mellifluous and liberal praises. Arrogance would give way to channelizing and streamlining the admiration into building confidence and maturity.
Though I don't receive a lot of admiration myself, all those who consistently liked me ended up being my favorites too and I treasure them and the bonding I share with those special people;
Our social behavior depends on how seriously we take admiration shown by others, how emotionally we connect with our admirers and how grounded we can be despite positive attention. This makes a hell lot of difference in public perception and self confidence too. So handling admiration is as important, if not more than handling criticism (handling criticism will be addressed in my next blog post).
Admiration - taken seriously:
Admiration or liking is often unilateral or one dimensioned. Except immediate family members and close loved ones, nobody likes us for whatever we are. So if others express their admiration, its only because they like certain talent, behavior or physicality in us. Such admiration should be wholeheartedly thanked, appreciated but can't be construed as unconditional love because if those admirers are exposed to us as a package, their admiration may (!) turn into resentment :) The best way to handle such situations is to enhance, develop, project traits or talents which are admired without letting the success affect our behavior in other areas.
Perfect example for this is political entry of Chiranjeevi. People flocked to his movies because they liked him onscreen. But he took the popularity way too seriously and rest is history ;) Most of the celebrities undergo this syndrome and unintentionally become susceptible to their ego and over-confidence.
Some people may genuinely like us but that can be due to misinterpretation or false projection. Virtual world including internet, facebook, twitter, instant messengers made easy for people to selectively and subconsciously present themselves to the world and there is ample scope for online buddies to misinterpret what is said, written, shown or projected. Any admiration based on such misinterpretation is always short-lived.
(BTW, there is a popular joke gone viral that nobody is as good looking as their facebook display picture and as ugly as their drivers license. LOL. Don't know about others, but that's apt in my case :P)
Time changes. So do opinions and tastes. Those who like us today may not really have the same feeling tomorrow. So unless and until the admiration is consistent, it can't be taken to head. Some people say good things out of courtesy which doesn't mean we should go overboard and start imagining ourselves to be on the top of the world. And not to mention, there will always be people who admire us with a preset agenda / hypocrisy. So always take flamboyant praises and lavish paeans with a pinch of salt before succumbing.
Connecting with admirers:
The first thing to do is not to take anybody for granted just because they expressed their liking towards us. Their liking or admiration can be temporary but the respect we can earn by reciprocating love by some genuine affection by smile, hug and other gestures will be permanent.
World is brutal and finding people who like us is not always easy. We may or may not always get close to those we like, but we always have an option of becoming friends and build relationship with those who like us. No two ways about it. We can't choose blood relations, but we can definitely choose friends, soulmates, 3-am-buddies and whats better than building up such relationships with those who like us. huh ?
But another aspect of connecting with our admirers is to project ourselves as a complete package so that they can decide if they can really tolerate us or not ;) And invariably we will see a lot of them drifting away which is healthy because we can understand whom to take seriously and whom not to.
I posted this status on FB few days back "Life is long enough to meet people who genuinely like us. Experiencing love from them is boon ! World is big enough to find people whom we genuinely like. Expressing love towards them is bliss !" and I meant every word. Just that we should identify who like us and whom we can like. Its not easy, but its worth !
Letting go of people who don't share positive feelings anymore is equally important. As mentioned earlier, times do change and subsequently people do change; circumstances and situations change. We may have to face days when somebody who admired us the most drift away; we should be large hearted to let go because they may have a lot of reasons to revisit their opinion and in that case cringing to retain the "impression" or opinion is futile and meaningless. Don't take it too personally. If some go away, new people come into your life (remember: life is long enough and world is big enough)
Being Grounded:
The direct and immediate consequence of being admired is steep rise in confidence levels in a positive way and ego in a negative way.
Whenever somebody expresses their admiration, try to think about all our negative traits and then analyse if that person can like us despite knowing those traits or not. This exercise will invariably keep us grounded even in case of the most mellifluous and liberal praises. Arrogance would give way to channelizing and streamlining the admiration into building confidence and maturity.
Though I don't receive a lot of admiration myself, all those who consistently liked me ended up being my favorites too and I treasure them and the bonding I share with those special people;
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